Parenting Question Poll Style =)

[chickenbottom]

tell him if he wants a different car then he can drive the truck for a while save his money from his job and buy his own. is he just scared to drive alone?

 

[DuckLady]

Can you work with him on compromises?

I hated driving with my sister, too for the same reasons. She found herself walking home a lot after I "let" her out when I had enough.

 

[mburpo]

He should've got a job at 14, started saving, bought his own car, paid his own insurance, and still be working... At least that's how it is in my family...

Rides to work and anywhere else cost gas money and pay for the driver's time, once a kid is old enough to work, which is 14...

 

[Camelot Farms]

Quote:
I'm open to any and all suggestions for compromise.
And although DD is a talker, if she is told to be quiet and promised a pack of gum upon success...she wont say a word. lol
I really think its just an excuse. He simply doesnt want to drive. Which is fine, but I dont want to become his personal chauffer with no end in site either....

 

[Camelot Farms]

Quote:
In our state, you cant work until the age of 16. So he pulled a full chore load on our little hobby farm. His pay was squandered on this/that and the other thing.
You can get a learners permit at 15 and 3 months. Then you are required to drive for 9 months with a record book of hours on the road and then you can get your license on your 16th birthday and a job too! lol

As you can see since he is 17, he is a little behind the game.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Thats the thing Wendy...he WONT get behind the wheel.

He REFUSES to drive our Chevy Silverado Pickup. Its a 2002 Farm Truck. Its not like another dent would be noticeable.
He will ONLY drive our 2008 Dodge Avenger if DD isnt in the car with us.

DH drives the car to work. 6am-6-9pm leaving me with the truck
I Homeschool DD so there are not many times when she isnt with us.

Options are slim with those perameters.

Well.. if he wont get behind the wheel..then he dosent go to work! or get rides places either! No way..
And as for the DD excuse.. just ask her to be sure that she dosent talk when hes driving... that it makes him nervous right now..while he is still learning to drive. I think thats a fair compermise...
As for learning on a truck... I learned and took my test in a big truck... i'm only 5'2.. and i survived..

 

[hencackle]

Does he have anxiety about driving and is too embarrassed to admit it? I like the chauffeur fee idea. Make a little cash and save a ton on car insurance premiums.

 

[Godsgrl]

Is ds scared to drive? I didn't get my license until I was almost 21, and had to. Three of my friends had died in high school from car accidents, and I was in no hurry to drive. Can you get to the bottom of why he doesn't want to drive, and go from there? Good luck!

 

[PineappleMama]

What a shock he won't drive the beat up truck but will drive the nice vehicle... precisely the opposite of me, but many seem to have the same attitude. Clearly not the whole story, I know that, just find it interesting is all.

If he wants the responsibility of a job then he needs to take the responsibility of being there on time... that's HIS row to hoe, not yours. He's the one that'll collect the pay for being there on time, not you. I'd have been thankful to be able to drive to work, rather than walking. First job at 13... walk the 5 or so miles... Grandy's at 16... only 1-2 miles... CUC at 17... good 4 at least... walk walk walk... rain sleet 105 degrees (and bonus points for forgetting my key card!)... it was my job to get to my job. Royally sucked, literally made me ill sometimes, but you do very much learn to appreciate a set of wheels... even the dented, no muffler (sounded like a freakin' go cart) Toyota Corolla FX-16... boy oh boy did I appreciate it when I was lucky enough to get to use it... n'mind having to pay the insurance on it since 16 whether allowed to use it or not... that was the whole reason I had a job to start with, so I could drive to work and school.

Never once had a boss that thought "My mom made me walk to work" was a reasonable excuse for tardiness... though only tried that on the CUC one... I was late and red faced, about to pass out... had to 'fess up... would have left in plenty of time had I known I wouldn't be allowed to use the car... unfortunately Mom waited until right at my usual leaving time (less than 10 min drive) to let me know I couldn't use the car... no friends available... so I had to hoof it. The excuse, though valid, did NOT sit well at all... they assumed when they hired me that I was responsible enough to be on time. Didn't fire me, but I was noted for it.

And, in case you're wondering... no, didn't do anything wrong just Mom feeling like today might be a good day for me to walk a few miles... then work an eight hour shift and walk home... pulled those stunts from 13-18 and not a derned thing I could do about it but quit, and derned if I'm going to quit and give her the satisfaction you know?

Overall, taught me one very stark lesson... don't count on anyone to be responsible for your duties... something comes up, or NOTHING comes up, your responsibilities are yours to meet. That said, I'd tell him to put up or shut up... either carry your own bum to your job or don't have one, his choice. And I'd prolly throw in one of those 'you ought to be thankful you aren't having to pay for insurance/payments' kind of lectures to boot... Yeah, just a wee bit biased on the subject.

 

[gumpsgirl]

I am actually having to deal with the same issue here. My oldest DS is 18 now and is lacking his DL too. He does FINALLY have his permit, but still no license. It took him forever to want to drive due to an accident he had on his cousin's dirt bike when he was 15. He walked away from that with 2nd degree burns on his legs and was scared to drive for a very long time. My husband was not keen on the idea that he wouldn't just go get his DL, but I didn't want to push him. Reason being, I didn't figure he had any sense being on the road or behind a wheel of a vehicle if he was scared to drive. Drivers who aren't confident and are nervous tend to make more mistakes and cause more wrecks. That being said, is there a reason you son doesn't want to drive? Is he nervous or just not keen about the idea of driving around the truck?

Next point, my husband and I did finally push my son out the door to get a job this past July and we are hauling him 25 miles one way to work 5 to 6 days a week. That is a lot of driving (DS is charged gas $, just to reiterate that nothing in this life is free) and time for us, but it has given him a new desire to get his license. He is working hard and saving up $ like crazy to buy his own car now, because he sees the freedom that his co-workers have and has the desire to have that same freedom. You never know, it could work the same way for your son. Just a thought.