Parents of big families...I need GOOD come backs for idiots!

[debilorrah]

Quote:
You are just wrong on all levels.

Go to the insults thread.

 

[FrChuckW]

Sunny I am sorry about your losses, I can only imagine the pain idiots can cause.

I can remember when I started as a cashier at Wally World, and having pregnant women coming through my check out lane. I would always congratulate them and ask when the baby was due, and always complimented them on how they glowed. I even had a couple of customers ask me to be an "adopted" uncle to their kids!

One of my brothers and his wife couldn't have children, they spent untold amounts of money going through fertility clinics, etc. She had several miscarriages before they adopted their oldest boy.

A few months later, after the adoption, they announced that she was pregnant. I had a picture somewhere of my one married sister and 3 of my sister in laws all pregnant at the same time standing next to each other and showing off their bellys(covered of course).

In any case, I never assume a woman is pregnant just because of her physique. But if she is and shares with me that she is, I for one am always polite and solicitious for them.


Pregnant women are proof that God is still working on perfecting us poor humans, may he never get it right!

 

[debilorrah]

I have heard of so many women giving up on their own trials to have a child and adopted and then got pregnant! God's thank you for taking in a needy child.

ETA: a friend of mine went through in-vitro for years before they had a daughter. After that they never used birth control because they tried for years before going for help. I am sure you know what happened next. His name is Dillon.

 

[okiemommy]

I have heard of so many women giving up on their own trials to have a child and adopted and then got pregnant! God's thank you for taking in a needy child.

ETA: a friend of mine went through in-vitro for years before they had a daughter. After that they never used birth control because they tried for years before going for help. I am sure you know what happened next. His name is Dillon.

YAY Good stories!! I have several friends who this same thing happened to them.​

 

[Promiselandfarm]

Congrats on the boy in the womb.

I have 8 not twins which my husband so badly wanted, 4 boys and 4 girls "even steven" as we say. Our comments started when I was pregnant with number 3 because of the gap in ages or would be ages, almost 5 years apart. The comment was gosh how many kids are you going to have. I just told them I was having an even dozen or more who knows...I like what caused it. That person never again made a comment to me. Two children are great...one for each hand. Three children will try you. Four children make it easy 2 for you, 2 for him. Five children will either make or break you. After that you have run out of parent hands so it does not matter the more the merrier. I personally had it made, the fifth one was a girl and my oldest daughter thought she was her personal live baby doll. She dressed her changed her did almost everything for her except feed her(breastfeed) she was old enough to want to help and do a great job. I almost had to beg for her back at times. She totally spoil that baby as you could not put her down but she has great lungs because when you did put her down she would wail until picked back up. BUT I love holding my babies a great deal of the time and most of the first months they slept with me..... Anyway people start to count with their eyes and sometimes fingers. So you just answer for them before they ask....Like yes I have"8" children and yes they are all mine and by the way same mom same dad too, and no we are not Catholic or Mormon. You would be shocked with the comments people have made. One was an elderly lady and my husband had just had it with all the comments about did we know what caused that. He said to her, " I would think at your age you would not have to ask that". She was totally embarrassed. We have other comments like wow what a large family and all beautiful children not an ugly one in the bunch. My comment back to them is, " If there was an ugly one would you have pointed that out?". They get a little flush. To the comment, "do you know what causes that." ...Well yes I do. Do you? or Yes thank you I do and I think we will keep doing it or try at least to perfect it. MY husband may just say we are trying to perfect it that is why we must keep trying. It really depends what kind of mood I am in if it is PMS time then watch out all Lady like answers goes out the window. One thing we had the most trouble with is going to a restaurant and getting a table in a timely manner. Once we were told we should have called ahead... We did and were told they did not take reservations. WE soon realized that one just needs to tell the manager we would like to eat here but if you cannot accommodate us I am sure another restaurant can. Works every time they want your business. I have had numerous older women say that they wish they had a big family then there would be more family around to visit with. Others would tell me that when I am older I will be glad we had such a big family. I can not have anymore but my husband would have been happy to have tons of kids. I sometimes tell people my husband needed more playmates... they look at me funny and I explain to them he loves kids and loves to play. Heck half the time my kids are/were into something he was/is right there in the middle of it. Having a large family that loves each other is a blast...although there are times we try each others nerves I would not have it any other way.

 

[dacjohns]

Quote:
See post #122.

 

[Dill]

I can see both sides of the situation. The people who say rude things just arent thinking and maybe they aren't sure what would be considered rude and what wouldn't be. I don't know. After reading things here and on here and other forums i'm now alot more uncomfortably sub conscious about what I'm saying to people than I used to be, which was bad as it was already.

 

[the simple life]

I wouldn't even waste my time coming back with the comments.
Why do you let people rent space in your head?
Its a non issue.
If a clerk at walmart or anywhere else said something rude to me in front of a line of customers I would just walk over and get a manager to come back over with me and then ask the cashier if she wanted to continue with her little tirade.

I had someone say to me at the mall once in front of all of my kids that she couldn't believe all those kids were mine and she said I have two and that is it, I put on a really concerned face and said "aw, really? oh thats too bad, but at least you have them" and I walked away.

It actually really bothers people when you do that, when you offer them apologies on their small families.

If someone asks me one of those corny stupid questions about being catholic,morman,etc. I look straight through them.
People squirm when you don't answer them.

If someone says haven't you figured out how this keeps happening? just say no. What do you mean, how does it keep happening?
Ever heard of birth control? No what is it?
They want to make you squirm, so don't do it, act like you genuinely do not understand their question.

All the snappy comebacks in the world will not bother the type of person that will make those comments anway.
You are better off acting like you just do not understand their question and if they are dumb enough to try to explain it keep asking what they are talking about.

Ignoring them makes them feel stupid. I do it to people all the time.
Occasionally I will say, why do you feel its any of your business to ask such a personal question? They usually don't know what the heck to say.

You could also turn around and ask an equally rude and embarrasing question about them. Even if you don't know them, just say it loud enough for everyone to hear.

But if its someone who you work with or whatever just turn and say something in the form of a question about something they are embarrassed about or confided in.
Like, hey did you ever get rid of those crabs?
Did Bob find out you were cheating on him yet?
Did Bob ever find out about the credit card bill you have been hiding?
You look good with those gray hairs, you look so mature, or those few extra pounds you gained make you look more shapely.
Hey did the boss find out that you banged in sick because you wanted to go away for the weekend?
Just change the subject with something about them.

But seriously, why let any of this bother you?
I have been there and done this already, it still happens when I am out with my family. I usually just look straight through the person but sometimes I will give a big sigh and say, I know I wish I could have had more and walk away.
Walking away is the best thing you can do.

 

[okiemommy]

Those sound like comebacks to me

 

[the simple life]

Yes, those are comebacks, but like I said I have had MANY years of this already and have learned that the best thing to do is just to stare at them and walk away.
Or like I said, act confused and ask them to explain what they are talking about
I gave her examples of what she COULD say if she felt that she needed to say something rather than walk away.
Not everyone can just walk away because it bothers them too much and they feel like they let some rude person get away with something.
AND the examples I gave her were to engage them in conversation like what do you mean? No I haven't heard of birth control what is that? Thats not a comeback either, a comeback is when you say something and walkaway. This is when I genuniely act like I don't understand and try to get them to explain it in a conversation, they usually get flustered and give up, and more importantly realize what they said was wrong.
The other comments about what to say to a co-worker were in fun in case you didn't get that.

Other wise like I said its not worth letting them upset you and I really don't ever feel like I have to give a response to anyone.
The older I get and the more kids I have it just doesn't not bother me anymore.
When I was younger it would upset me when people were rude, not it doesn't phase me and that is the advice I am giving To someone else as someone who has already been there and done that for a Loooong time.