Parents that work full time outside the home. How do you do it? rant

[Fancie]

see like I have said b-4 we need a byc dictanary for all these abbrv.

 

[Terri]

My daughter's after school baby sitter was her Sunday school teacher. She got to see Ms. Catherine 6 days a week and loved her very much.

 

[toletiquesbysam]

My DH and I worked different shifts to cover the kids always being with family. We didn't get to see each other, but it worked for us. I would not recommend walking away from the house, it's not a good option. Find out your payoff and contact a realtor to get an appraisal on the home and see if you are able to sell it first or maybe a short sale if you owe more than it's worth, but I'd do all that before I gave the home to the bank.

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

I stopped at 1 child so that I could go back to work when she entered school.
What I am bothered by is the lack of after school programs and care in my city that are available after 4:30 pm. That I would even consider having my daughter attend.
My mom could use the added income and help. She has mentioned more than once to both my sister and I. My sister does not want to live in the same town she teaches in. I want my daughter to be in a better, safer school system and city. Simple. Walking away from the house will not do much damage to our credit. My leaving my job 6.5 years ago has already done that damage.
My mom went back to work when i was 10 because she needed and wanted to.
I am a more self reliant and stronger person because of this IMHO.

I am not taking any decisions lightly. Heck I have had more sleepless nights lately because of these choices. Mainly everything I do is in the very best interest of my daughter. Even if it is going back to work full time. Being a happier and more well rounded person and letting her see and learn from me in this faze of my life, and hers as well.
If some of you consider me selfish. thats fine. Because I will readily agree with you. I have my own wants and needs and there is not one thing wrong with that as long as she is safe and knows she is well loved. Which she will be and is.

 

[Chicken Fruit]

I was a nanny before I got married and later became a mom. I had a mom who stayed home with us all until we were teenagers.

Personally, I dont believe mom's have any business not being home with their kids- unless theyre so miserable that being at work is less detrimental than them being home with a poor attitude.

I just dont think its right to let someone have the best hours of your kids day, I know I dont trust anyone else on the planet with my kids for any real length of time.

Some women just do better working, and theyre lucky enough to have other people who can fill their place in their steads- like the women who I nannied for (I know I was an acceptional replacement mom) but with all the child molesters, kidnappers, crazies and wierdos I just cant justify 10-20 bucks and hour in my pocket and my child ruined. Its just not worth it to work in my book.

So I endeavor to work from home and have my own business ventures that allow me to have the lifestyle we want AND be a full time mom.

Thats just my little rant on the subject. I dont blame you for second guessing it all- its a scary world out there.

 

[HennysMom]

Ouch - tough one in one sense but not in another.

Letting the bank take your house because you want to work full time and dont trust anyone to watch your child.. not a good idea. Realize that the bank can come after you for the difference they get on the house and what is owed - and credit makes a difference in everything.

Push forward 10 years - and your kid wants to go to college and cant because mom and dad let the house go

Guess what - takes credit to go to college and kids are considered dependants until the age of 24 (I know, I'm going through this now with our 18 y/o and college issues - not the credit thing, but the dependant until age 24 thing).

Now - add to that when your DD gets a bit older and wants her friends to come over, sleep overs, all nighters, parties, etc - at grandma's house. How is grandma going to feel about that? Is DD going to have her own room? Is she going to be able to do what she wants to do/is able to do as she grows up? Its not your and DH's house, its your mom's house... so her rules apply no matter what you think or your DH thinks. We lived with my parents for 9 months 12 years ago and while I was grateful for that.. I will NEVER do it again - ever - and our DD was 7 at that time. Was awful for her and for us. Talk about walking on egg shells all the time. Seemed like a good idea at the time.. until we did it....

Try to get an apartment or another house after forclosure - good luck. 10 years on your credit report or longer (we've had friends that have lost their homes due to foreclosure) - and its a nightmare, trust me - they didnt let their house go "just because" they lost it due to job loss and medical bills.

What may seem like the easy answer now isnt always black and white down the line. I'd think long and hard before you decide to do whatever it is you're going to do. Again, you may end up owing the difference on what the bank sells it for at auction - especially if you're upside down in it or they decide to do a short sale.

Good luck!

 

[horsejody]

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Not to mention now that the government is bailing out banks, the tax payers will probably end up covering the losses. No offense, but I'm about broke from paying taxes already.

 

[horsejody]

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Wow, I never knew my kids were ruined. And here I thought putting a roof over their heads and food in their mouth without going on welfare was a good idea. Actually, my kids grew into great adults. There's no need to be so judgemental and assume that just because a mother works they are less of a mother. I know plenty of kids that had stay at home moms that grew up worthless and plenty of kids with working mothers that grew up to be well adjusted adults. Responsible parenting can be done by stay at home parents and working parents.

 

[HennysMom]

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Wow, I never knew my kids were ruined. And here I thought putting a roof over their heads and food in their mouth without going on welfare was a good idea. Actually, my kids grew into great adults. There's no need to be so judgemental and assume that just because a mother works they are less of a mother. I know plenty of kids that had stay at home moms that grew up worthless and plenty of kids with working mothers that grew up to be well adjusted adults. Responsible parenting can be done by stay at home parents and working parents.

I agree with Jody on this one - not every parent/mother has the luxury of staying at home with their children. Staying at home is a luxury in this day and age. To say all mothers are bad because they have to work and leave their kids with others is just plain wrong.

 

[Fancie]

Me and my hubby has worked it out well so we don't have to pay a babysitter... we both work full time... we just don't get a lot of together time....


I just can't wait till the kids go to school... it will be easier... I think...

I wish I could stay home full time... but it's just not possible.