Parents who have full access to their kid's Facebook account?

[ChickenAlgebra]

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In the US, the big cases that are easily remembered of those cases - the parents DIDN'T know what the kids were up to, the kids had total privacy and got away with it.

I see story after story after story about how the parents didn't know that their kid was doing XYZ or was upset or whatever. They never have a happy outcome it seems.

So I am a nosy busybody in the lives my children think they have. When you pay your own bills and make adult choices, you may do as you please. Until that day, I am paying the bills, I get to know exactly where that money is going.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Honestly, I think children who do not have access to facebook/internet and do not have cell phones have much better social lives. It not only means the child must memorize phone numbers to call people (How many phone numbers do you actually have memorized when you have a cell phone?) and they must interact face to face.

I didn't get a cell phone until I was 17 and driving. I didn't really need one before that. If I really did, I borrowed my mom's cell phone or used my friends' parent's phones. Under 17, I wasn't really going anywhere alone yet anyways. It kills me to see 10 years texting and playing with cell phones!

 

[Matthew3590]

I have Facebook, I have twitter. I live with my parents they bought me computers. They don't know my passwords. If you need to know you child's passwords to a social media site because you are afraid of a sexual predator or online bullying then that is pretty embarrassing. From 18 year olds to 5 year olds have been taught how to stay away from predators. I am on facebook, which is private, I get creepy message from someone I don't know and have no mutual friends with I instantly block. Not hard. Besides facebook is used for school now. I had a project last year to get the layout of facebook but to use it for other things. (create a facebook for a character of a book.) Now what you can do instead of having to monitor them and go through their web searches every time they get off of the computer or phone you can download BSecure. It is a privacy program that I had on my computer when I was little. You can limit the websites they can go to and make exceptions for certain ones.

Also for the people saying you pay for service you are allowed access. Yes you can search their computers and phones and keep them from the internet. But last time I checked you don't pay to see individual websites. I doubt the parents whose kids are gamers really monitor all the passwords they have for the games they play. At one point their was 14 games I could play on the internet that all had separate username needs or email.

 

[Matthew3590]

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I bet it also made people cringe seeing only the rich people with phones when they first came out. If there is the technology why not use it? Our generation has to be more tech savvy to get jobs. You want an office job? You better be able to be doing at least 60 gwam to be able to keep ahead if you are in scheduling.

 

[gamebirdboy]

My parents don't have any of my passwords, but they can check it because my dad is my friend on facebook. If they did have my passwords I wouldn't mind cause I have nothing to hide. I'm glad they trust me. I don't like it when people are watching me like a hawk, but I can understand if they look when I'm in trouble...

 

[Kschwartz]

Here is my view on it,

My parents have let me access the computer for years now. But before they ever even let me access the internet, they let me know the rules and they explained to me what I can and cannot do, and I completely respect that. They taught me how to be safe on the internet, which judging by a lot of opinions on this topic, seems like something more parents need to do! If I have a problem or encounter something wrong while I am using the computer I ask my parents for help, i'm not stupid!
My parents do not have access to my Facebook account. They do not have any of my online passwords except for my gradebook online (which we share) and my phone usage summary (which we also share). They have never asked for my password and they have no problem with me having a Facebook or any other account for that matter. However, if they really wanted to, they could access it because I always forget to sign out. But I have nothing to hide so it doesn't matter to me. I also have time restrictions on my account, which I could easily change if I wanted to but it doesn't bother me at all. My whole family shares one computer so it's not like I even could hide something if I was trying to in the first place.

Same thing for my phone. My parents pay for it and I respect their rules while using it. No internet, no downloading ringtones/games/etc. I know what stuff costs extra on my phone so I don't mess around with that stuff. I am actually careful. My parents do take away my phone (computer too) if I have been misbehaving, although I CAN live without it as I don't rely on it like a lot of teens these days do. They check my phone every once and a while too but I still don't have any problem with that. I have had incidents in the past with random numbers calling and texting me, so I show my parents I don't hide it from them.

Personally I do think accessing your childs facebook is an invasion of privacy UNLESS you KNOW that something is up. I wouldn't want my parents just snooping around all the time for no reason. I am friends with my parents and other family members on facebook, so if they want to check on me, they can do it from their own account.

One thing I don't get though is parents who don't let their kids on the internet at all. Why? Because you don't trust them? It is the same trust that you have to have when your kid asks you to go to the park or to hang out with some friends because it's not like the internet is any more dangerous than real life. If you teach your kid about strangers and all that stuff then why not just take the time to teach them about strangers on the internet too and how to be safe?
Like I said before, a lot of reasons why parents don't let their kids on the computer or have to monitor them is because they don't take the time to TEACH them what is bad and what they can't do on here. I believe my parents have done an awfully darn good job and that is why they can trust me, and I respect them for that!

I don't like how some of you on here are making comments about teenagers and "not being able to trust them" "they don't know any better" "Kids are still kids" etc. Honestly, if you teach them how to act they will follow. Not ALL teens are like that. Not even most of them. I know what is right and wrong. My parents can trust me. I don't get into trouble and I get straight A's. So no, not all kids are like that, and I think a lot of adults need to start treating them more maturely.


Anyways that is just my 2 cents. I respect everyone else's opinion here so I hope you respect mine too.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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All of this would creep me out about someone communicating with my child. It just does not seem normal. These terms of endearment are not typical terms used by children and young adolescents. Tons of pictures of himself smiling and of food? Very odd. Most folks have photos of friends, hobbies, vacations, etc. Yes, there will be some photos of themselves, but not "tons."

 

[Stacykins]

I am incredibly glad my parents were trusting and not paranoid. No wonder the kids try and hide things, it is because they can't get any privacy to begin with.

 

[Chickangel79]

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That's a very good reply. It's how I have taught my children and how my own children behave on the internet. All credit to you.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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What do you think? I pay for your phone, it is mine, i simple allow you to acess it for your personal use. At anytime I am free to pick it up and glance thru it's contents.

As you are paying for it its your choice, my 11 year old has a phone and she pays for it herself, I wouldn't dream of searching through it unless I suspected she was in trouble and even then I would ask first. I do not have access to her Facebook but know she would give me the password if asked.
There are funny people on the internet, but also there are worse ones in real life. You can't shield them from everyone. I trust my children and we have discussed what can happen if she gives out personal info. It's also a lot about teaching your children common sense.

I agree with the concept of teaching ones child personal responsibility, but people on Facebook ARE people in real life. Yes, you need to teach them to deal with real life, and not completely shield them from it, but that is not at all the same as giving them limitless privacy and no real boundaries. You are abdicating your responsibility as a parent if you confuse the right of privacy of an adult with that of a dependant minor. Telling them something does not necessarily equate with them learning it and actually agreeing with it.