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Here goes...
It seems there was a man who came from the city wanting to start a chicken farm of his very own. He was sent to a local hatchery to purchase some chicks to start the enterprise. He went in and purchased 500 fine White Rocks chicks to start the farm up. The next week he came back to the hatchery and purchased 500 top quality Rhode Island Reds chicks. The following week it was 500 Cornish chicks and so on and so on for many weeks. Finally, the hatchery man could stand it no longer and said, "Wow you must be starting a huge poultry farm with all of these chicks!" "Not so big really, "said the city slicker, "I'm just having a little trouble with this first crop. I can't tell if I'm planting them too deep or too close together."
It seems there was a man who came from the city wanting to start a chicken farm of his very own. He was sent to a local hatchery to purchase some chicks to start the enterprise. He went in and purchased 500 fine White Rocks chicks to start the farm up. The next week he came back to the hatchery and purchased 500 top quality Rhode Island Reds chicks. The following week it was 500 Cornish chicks and so on and so on for many weeks. Finally, the hatchery man could stand it no longer and said, "Wow you must be starting a huge poultry farm with all of these chicks!" "Not so big really, "said the city slicker, "I'm just having a little trouble with this first crop. I can't tell if I'm planting them too deep or too close together."
Q: Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
A: Because she wanted to lay it on the line.
A: Because she wanted to lay it on the line.
One more...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: (from Mythbusters) If you fire a frozen chicken out of a cannon; not only will it cross a road, it could be a lethal projectile.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: (from Mythbusters) If you fire a frozen chicken out of a cannon; not only will it cross a road, it could be a lethal projectile.
Zebediah and His Egg Business
Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all!!
Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise.
Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all!!
Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise.
OW! OWOWOW!!!!
These are ALL wonderful, but Chicken Junkies, that was FABULOUS!!
Of course, you are speaking to a woman who spent an entire mosquito-ridden night in a tent making up duck puns...
Of course, you are speaking to a woman who spent an entire mosquito-ridden night in a tent making up duck puns...
The Chicken and the Library
A chicken walks into a library and says to the librarian "book, book,
book," so the librarian gives the chicken three books and it walks
out. About an hour later, the chicken walks in again and says "book,
book, book," so once again, the librarian gives the chicken three
books and it walks out. About an hour later, it comes back in and says
"book, book, book," so the librarian gives the chicken three books and
it walks out. This time however, the librarian is a little curious so
she follows the chicken. She continues to follow it for about half an
hour when it comes to a marsh and puts the books on the ground. A frog
leaps out of the marsh, looks at the books, and says "readit, readit,
readit."
A chicken walks into a library and says to the librarian "book, book,
book," so the librarian gives the chicken three books and it walks
out. About an hour later, the chicken walks in again and says "book,
book, book," so once again, the librarian gives the chicken three
books and it walks out. About an hour later, it comes back in and says
"book, book, book," so the librarian gives the chicken three books and
it walks out. This time however, the librarian is a little curious so
she follows the chicken. She continues to follow it for about half an
hour when it comes to a marsh and puts the books on the ground. A frog
leaps out of the marsh, looks at the books, and says "readit, readit,
readit."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ken Starr's Answer:I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road
at the behest of the president of the United States of America, in an
effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public
from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been
trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in
the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and
undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer
the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with
our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to
reach the other side of the road, until our investigation and any
Congressional follow-up investigations, have been completed. (We also
are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the
Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort
to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at
least to ruffle his feathers.).
Colonel Sanders' Answer:I missed one?
Ken Starr's Answer:I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road
at the behest of the president of the United States of America, in an
effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public
from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been
trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in
the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and
undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer
the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with
our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to
reach the other side of the road, until our investigation and any
Congressional follow-up investigations, have been completed. (We also
are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the
Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort
to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at
least to ruffle his feathers.).
Colonel Sanders' Answer:I missed one?
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