Yep, as I admitted yesterday. Most of this is my fault. Lack of communication, years of this is mine, this is yours. No sharing. I was feeling a little mad with myself yesterday afternoon. I was blaming him for not "seeing" the situation I was in. Well if I never showed him a bill how was he to know? If I asked for $400 a month and never asked for more to help was he supposed to read my mind? I'm SO glad I put this here before I talked with him. I could have easily blown this way out of proportion and not solved anything.
I am a firm believer that there is two ways of looking at something. Sometimes my views are not realistic. I have to step back and look at the situation. I'm much happier with my life these past 8 or 10 years that I figured this out about myself. The more I talk things through the more I can step back and look at the whole picture. My goals change every year, this year was to conquer my fear of "talking" about problems. I've really opened up on this post, I know its anonymous, you guys don't know me well, but now you know a little more. We all have faults some more than others. Look through this post you will see, I thought a different way in the beginning, very narrowed minded. As each of you responded, it drew out more of the problems until I saw the root of it and I got the courage to share with him the budget and income and bills. Marriage is sharing everything, I need to learn that hard lesson. How can we help each other if we don't share the problems and the burdens.
