Please pray for my grandmother

[KikiDeAnime]

For those who don't know, my grandmother had an incident last year that caused her to have memory issues. She forgets thing easily and constantly asks the same question every 10 minutes unless she's asleep. She's become worse since my grandfather decided(for the 5th time) to overdose and passed away at 12am November 19th of this year. Ever since, our mom has been sleeping over for a few days a week there while our dad is here. My 2 brothers and I have been helping with whatever we can.

On Friday, we decided that I'd stay the night so that my mom could have another night at home. Everything was fine up until around 1am yesterday when she wouldn't calm down enough to go to bed so since I only got about a half hour of sleep, I was awake with her downstairs in the kitchen. I had to call my parents around 1:30am twice within minutes of each call. My parents finally came over at 1:45am because she somehow got into the gun safe and was walking around with one of the loaded hunting rifles. I couldn't get her to put it back so I was in a panic since she thought it wasn't loaded and had her hand near the trigger. We finally got her to put it down so my dad could lock it back in the gun safe with the other guns. After an hour of her freaking out and screaming at my mom, we finally got her to go to bed. I wasn't able to fall asleep and I still don't know if I ever got sleep that morning because I was scared for my grandmother.
Around 11am, I finally went back downstairs to the living room as my parents woke up after getting sleep. My dad went home to check on the dogs and to feed them since they didn't get their morning meal. My grandmother finally woke up at 2pm and ate for a bit before going back to sleep. I decided at 3:30pm to go home and see if I could sleep in my bed. I actually passed out after a few minutes of laying in my bed and slept until an hour ago.

Just a little note; before my grandfather passed away he kept all his guns loaded and since nobody has opened the safe since, they haven't been unloaded but my dad is going to unload them.


Please, please pray for my grandmother!

 

[sourland]

It's a difficult situation. We went through this with two of my BIL.

 

[DobieLover]

Kiera,
I live with and take care of an Alzheimer's patient. Watching the decline and dealing with the daily stress is difficult. Making care taking decisions in his best interest often times are not in mine but at this point in his decline, I make the sacrifice.
I've recently had to hire a part time care taker to stay with him for 3 hours a day when I work. After the new year, we are going up to 4 hours a day. I know that eventually he will not be able to be alone at all. I also know that eventually, his mental capacity will decline to the point that it is no longer safe for him to be home for either him or me. When that time comes, I will move him to a facility that is better equipped to deal with that.
Based on what you've written, your poor grandmother is at that point and your family should have that discussion about moving her into a proper care facility. Does your mother or one of her siblings have Power of Attorney for her? It isn't safe for her to be alone and it is too much for the family to try to deal with.
I will be thinking about you and hoping for the best possible outcome in a very difficult situation.

 

[KikiDeAnime]

Kiera,
I live with and take care of an Alzheimer's patient. Watching the decline and dealing with the daily stress is difficult. Making care taking decisions in his best interest often times are not in mine but at this point in his decline, I make the sacrifice.
I've recently had to hire a part time care taker to stay with him for 3 hours a day when I work. After the new year, we are going up to 4 hours a day. I know that eventually he will not be able to be alone at all. I also know that eventually, his mental capacity will decline to the point that it is no longer safe for him to be home for either him or me. When that time comes, I will move it to a facility that is better equipped to deal with that.
Based on what you've written, your poor grandmother is at that point and your family should have that discussion about moving her into a proper care facility. Does your mother or one of her siblings have Power of Attorney for her? It isn't safe for her to be alone and it is too much for the family to try to deal with.
I will be thinking about you and hoping for the best possible outcome in a very difficult situation.

Unfortunately my mother, her half sister, and her 2 step sisters all agreed not to put my grandmother in a care facility. And as I stated in my post, my mother stays over there most of the week. My grandmother is fine during the day, it's only at night when she causes problems.

 

[sourland]

Sadly it is a progressive disease and things will most likely become worse. Dobie Lover's advice is right on the money.

 

[KikiDeAnime]

Wait I just realized I never said it was Alzheimer's. The doctors she's been to said it was something they've never seen before and that it wasn't Alzheimer's

 

[sourland]

Wait I just realized I never said it was Alzheimer's. The doctors she's been to said it was something they've never seen before and that it wasn't Alzheimer's

Whatever the diagnosis it appears to be a progressive condition that may eventually endanger her or anyone who is around her. The loaded guns create an especially dangerous situation.

 

[DobieLover]

Wait I just realized I never said it was Alzheimer's. The doctors she's been to said it was something they've never seen before and that it wasn't Alzheimer's

AD (Alzheimer's Disease) is usually the diagnosis after other potential causes of memory loss and cognitive impairment are ruled out. Getting a PET scan of the brain to detect amyloid plaques can help diagnose AD but that is usually done in a research setting. Regardless, dementia, as Sour mentioned, is progressive. It doesn't matter if it is AD or some other type of dementia. The outcome is the same.
Is your grandmother being treated with memantine or donepezil or seeing a neurologist? These are usually best started as early as possible but can help slow the decline. However, I don't think they do much for the patient in the late stages of dementia.
It is admirable that your family wants your grandmother to stay home. But the reality is, it is safer for all if she lived where she can be monitored around the clock by staff that are accustomed to dealing with all the nuances of the disease.
You cannot possibly predict what her next aggressive behavior will be. What if she had pulled that trigger? What if she does something when no one is there that harms or kills a stranger. Sadly, these things happen all the time.
Dementia is not simply memory loss. It causes a loss in the ability to think and reason.

 

[KikiDeAnime]

I'm not speaking more on this. Just say you're praying for her and move along. That's all I wanted when I posted this but if you continue, I'm getting my original post removed by an admin.

 

[theoldchick]

So, so difficult to watch a loved one fade away. It's like where did they go? And why did this have to happen to my mother/dad/Pops, Nana? One feels so helpless. You want to do so much but there is nothing you can do. And the waiting is crippling. So sorry you are going through this but be strong and do the best you can.