As things started to fall apart for us, the one thing I was worried about was property taxes. We have worked so hard to build by hand all that we have. All of our income, all of our time went into it... I could not bare to lose it. We had to borrow money to pay the taxes. There needs to be some sort of depression/recession waver for those of us trying our hardest... We are not taking from the coffers... but we are having a difficult time keeping them full.
I would wake up in the middle of the night and worry. I was broke, exhausted from labor, and sleep deprived.
Then I thought, ''this isn't helping. It is what it is, and we are trying our hardest...''
It was a two year battle to find a decent mental state that I could live with. It is so easy for people to say 'let it go.' but it is so hard to do. The depression is sometimes too much. You wake up and think 'it's all over.' but now I wake up and think, 'we are just starting over.'
I am fortunate that I have a good and kind partner. It must be terrifying to go it alone.
You are glad that Steve is leaving in one way...but it must really be awful in all the other ways that only mom's feel. I am really
for you,
and I know you will pull through. Look at all you have accomplished by yourself. You are an inspiration to people. Believe it or not. If you can do what you do, and manage what you have managed, then we all can make it.
Chin up. Summer break is almost here.
