Prenuptial agreements & step-children?

[redhen]

I Know it upsets you Jenn. But i honestly think they just want to protect you. They know how hard you have worked for everything that you have in your life. I , personally, would appreciate any advice my parents gave me. BUt in the end, of course, i'd make my own decision and they need to respect that also. Sorry they're stressing you out.

 

[debilorrah]

Ya know the more I think about it, the more I believe your parents do not want to let you "go" so to speak. The more doubt they can throw your way, the better!!!! I know they think they mean well, and it is because they love you, but could they go at it in a less convoluted way??? Then again you could stick your fingers in your ears and go "LALALALALALALA".

 

[redhen]

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Yep that's the way to do it!!

 

[ruth]

In a community property state the assets held before the marriage are separate property but as someone pointed out, any value added to the home after the marriage (i.e. equity) is community property.

In your case, a relatively new home purchased 6 years ago probably has little to no equity value in today's market and probably heavily mortaged. I say "probably" because I'm just guessing and my first response is with this assumption. In which case, it is not worth worrying about a pre-nup because the value of the home as the years go by will increase and that will be community property but since he will have helped pay half the debt (also community property) it would still be considered community property.

However, if you paid a huge amount down on your home or inherited it or it somehow survived the market crash and is worth much more than you owe on it, then yes, you might want to consider a pre-nup based on it's value at the time of the marriage. But again, as the years go by that issue becomes very muddy because his lawyers will deduct any time, maintenance and repairs or improvements he made to the home (100%); any payments made (1/2), any equity added (1/2) and legal bills for both of you so again, unless the house is worth a small fortune pre-marriage I wouldn't worry about it.

As far as a car, a pre-nup isn't worth the time to draw one up. The car is depreciating as we speak.

The kids and ex-wife is another story and DH and I battled a looney ex-wife heck-bent on destroying all for several years. Same situation, prior to marriage he had a really high-paying executive job, was laid off, unemployed and she refused to allow child support (1,300 mo. for one child) to be reduced. Her lawyers were successful in keeping the child support set till the then 15 year old reached 18 so those payments came out of my income because if not, DH would have been held in contempt. We never missed a payment and were never late. So, in that way, yes, they can come after your income - not necessary in a legal manner but if he doesn't pay, he goes to jail (that's what the judge told us) so the money had to come from somewhere. We even went to court to try and fight the judgments and get child support reduced and that's when the judge told him (in a back room, off the record) to hand over his jewelry and any personal belongings to me because he, the judge, didn't feel like hearing a child support case that day and if DH insisted on his day in court, he would sentence him to jail for six months and put him in the cell with the "richest man in this county" because that man refused to give his ex-wife the condo in the French Quarter after the judge "suggested" he do so and not have his day in court. Is the court system in Louisiana crooked - absolutely.

So I'm glad to hear that the ex-wife seems to be friendly. Maybe she would agree to a friendly reduction in child support. If your court system isn't a back-room crooked LA system then I would suggest going to court for the reduction if she doesn't agree to one up front.

Best of luck with the marriage and blended family. In some cases it worked really well for us. My kids love their step-father and like him much more than their real father who, by the way, managed to get out of paying child support.

 

[L0rraine]

Things have always gone remarkably smoothly for me even through two divorces, half-siblings and step kids. Never had any pre-nups. My daughter's dad ALWAYS came through for her in spite of periods without work. I AM independent, though, and never felt MORE money would make me that much happier. I have never made a lot of money, but always enough to take care of me and mine (tho' sometimes barely month to month). My current husband and I are just now going to draw up wills to make sure our three (adult) kids all do equally okay in the event one of us should die first and the surviving spouse remarries.

My parents and friends were often wanting to demonize the "EXes", but I suppose mostly because they loved me. My trusting personality has not led me wrong over the years (but it's true that sometimes there are people who get burned).

Don't know if any of this helps, just adding to the noise I suppose (it's a pretty amiable bunch here though isn't it?).

 

[DuckLady]

We put everything in a trust. Bottom line is no one gets squat until we are both gone.

Within our marital trust are personal trusts.

If DH dies, I can move his personal assets into the marital trust, but not my personal trust. I have use of his assets while I live, but they are part of the trust and will be distributed when I die.

And vice versa.

We did this because he does have children from a previous marriage. This protects us both.

As for child support, they don't care where it comes from. You can file innocent spouse relief on your taxes, but I understood that child support was part of the package when we married.

 

[debilorrah]

Ok guys just because Terrie posted last DOES NOT mean this closed.

 

[FrenchHen]

That was my thought as well debi! "Uh, oh...Terrie's warning us..."

 

[ruth]

Terrie brought up a good point that I meant to mention. Instead of worrying about a pre-nup, get a good will drawn up for both of you because if something happened to him ex-wife and kids could make your life a living pain.

In LA it is not only a community property state it is a "forced heirship" state meaning you cannot leave your kids less than half your estate (spouse or who ever you want can get half but kids get the other half, will or not). In other words, they do not allow you to disown a child under the age of 25. So if there isn't a will and there are assets that are in dispute as to who owns what, it alls goes before the court and the kids get half. I especially worried about this until his youngest child turned 25 since we were living in LA at the time and we lived in my home (asset held prior to marriage) and lived off my business (asset held prior to marriage). If he had died, you could bet that ex-wife and greedy grown kids would have challenged me for my house and my business and most likely would have won.