@KDOGG331 having everyone in the family handle the dog the same, using the same commands, rewards, etc., is so crucial, and goes to what
@reddogmaster2 said about consistency being so important. A dog's mind is like a computer, he thinks yes/no, right/wrong, good/bad in his world. People want the dog to think in shades. Like, Today it's okay for you to jump up on me bc I'm feeling playful and wearing jeans. Tomorrow, no bc I'm dressed for a wedding. Or you can't jump on children but you can jump on hubby. Or not today bc you're muddy or I have a headache. Dogs can't think that way. It's either always okay or never okay. To jump up. To sleep on the bed. To bite. Anything. So if your family doesn't understand that and isn't on board with it ... don't get a dog until you have a place of your own. Not fair to the dog. Anything else is cruelty. My opinion anyway.
Yeah, I definitely agree and that was part of the problem with Gator. The boys would always rough house with him and let him bite and jump and stuff and I didn’t like that but he didn’t know (though he did learn that he couldn’t do it with me ever plus eventually outgrew it) But also, even worse, they would often let him do something and then be mad at him for the same thing later, even just moments later.
Like for example, sometimes they would let him jump up and be crazy and then the next second be yelling at him when they just were petting him and encouraging it two seconds ago
Or feed him while eating then be mad he’s begging.
But the worst part for me was that my dad thought every single rule I tried to impose was “mean.”
Even something as simple as laying in the hall, out of the kitchen, while we ate. And he always fed him while we were eating.
He’s just horrible with dogs and think spoiling them is “love” but poor Gator was so confused. Even until the day he died, he STILL would constantly steal stuffed animals or pillows or TP or whatever, things that weren’t his, because my dad thought it was “cute” and “funny” and often gave him them.
Granted, he did have a couple pillows that were “his” (he liked to suck and chew them and stuff) but then it became
every pillow or stuffed thing was his.
Thankfully though, despite all of this, I was still able to get him fairly well trained and he could do pretty advanced obedience like staying all the way across our very very large yard, “waiting” while I put cookies up his legs, heeling, etc. and even quite a lot of tricks and fun stuff, we even played hide and seek and nose games lol, but it took a lot of work and he didn’t respect me at first. And I thought he was stubborn as heck at first.
It wasn’t until I finally figured out what motivated him that it really “clicked” and we started making progress with the training. But I had to earn his respect. I had the love before then but he thought he was the boss. I had to teach him he wasn’t. Not through anything cruel or anything but just that consistency and that I always follow through.
For example, you don’t come, I go and physically get you. This often meant long line for a while.
Consistency and stuff like that.
Cause my dad would just call him from the porch but never actually physically go off the porch and get him and Gator knew this. He also often would just go “oh never mind, you don’t have to come in if you don’t want to.” And Gator also knew this.
I was always like... NO. You call him, he comes to you. And then if you want to release him and let him stay outside after that, fine. But he has to listen to you FIRST.
But he didn’t get it. And I don’t think he ever will.
Gator was always on his bed too and he wouldn’t move for him. Wouldn’t move for me at first either. We worked through that, practicing on his dog bed at first, then the real bed, and pretty soon he would gladly hop right off or move over for me. But only for me.
He had some other more serious issues too that also make me think it might be a bad idea to get a dog right now because my dad encouraged these issues, even thought they were funny, and they were NOT.
Granted Gator‘s breed mix likely played a role and a more docile dog might not have the same issues but still. Even just basic obedience and training, I know he would RUIN any dog.
That said, I do think most dogs ARE smart enough to learn when they can get away with something, Gator and Libby are/constantly playing with people and testing the limits, so I’m sure I could get a dog to listen to ME when necessary but still.... it’s confusing and unfair to then be told they sometimes don’t have to listen.
If I did it again, I might keep the dog away from my dad as much as possible
My mother gets it, even if she doesn’t always necessarily use the exact same way I do, she gets dogs and rules and that they LIKE having rules and structure. Not my dad. It was a freaking free for all. Always stole stuff from the recycling too.
HUGE contrast compared to my brother’s 3 dogs who are all perfectly behaved and quiet, well mannered dogs. I almost think they are a little TOO strict sometimes or I guess not always fair I should say BUT they listen and are so calm. Gator had a lot of anxiety.
It helps if everyone in the family listens and cooperates. I have an adult child who often wants to play with the dog in a way that is a lot of fun for both of them, but brings out dominance and craziness in the dog which I am working on trying to suppress and control. You're not just training the dog, you're teaching people. Dogs are often much easier! 
