putting things into perspective.

[oesdog]

Still amazed that the rabbit got to stay in a shed. Pampered bunny!

Ours stay in the hutch through blizzards, LOL. Well, I did bring them in when hurricane Sandy was going through last fall, but that was only because I was worried the hutch could blow over.
My neighbor who has 6 rabbits thought I was being overly cautious, LOL.

Well I guess I am a bit soft.
But thinking about it Hens naturally live above ground and most of us provide a coop and don;t expect them to find a hedgerow? Rabbits naturally are burrowing animals and so in a domestic setting cannot provide a safe warm environment if left outside. ( My neice found that out when she froze my rabbit to death one winter when she had succesfully managed to get me to give it to her!) Now I put her in the shed with lots of hay. The hens go visit to keep her company.

Oes

 

[oesdog]

About the break - We were so tired we never went anywhere. I slept 10 hours last night. Went to bed and half nine like an old person and slept immediately!

Oes - SO much for getting away! Dh has chest pain so better to camp here! lol

 

[math ace]

oesdog... private message coming your way.

 

[oesdog]

Anyone out there?
Thanks - sorry I have not posted much
I just want to cry all the time the stress here is unbearable. Had to take DH to the hospital last night. He has not been too well lately again. It was not nice he had to get 4 injections into his neck so I am hoping it will help him with the pain for a bit.
I felt awful yesterday even before I left here. I don’t feel very well and I had a chronic headache all day but because of the hospital I had to drive DH there. Also had to get the disabled boy from the adult center and take him to my DD who was looking after him. I simply couldn’t take him to the hospital and look after him and DH! Anyhow he got the injections ( very sore and hard to hear someone you love scream with pain) - hopefully it will be of some help for a bit. The consultant seems to think that DH need 3 vertebra removed from his neck alone and at least 2/3 are damaged lower down the spine in the lumber region. That also may need surgery.
How am I going to cope with this I don’t know.??? I think the upset and stress is starting DH’s heart issues off again as he frequently takes the GTN and takes himself off to bed. I am worried sick but little I can do. I am exhausted all the time. I wrote to the Social worker and told her about DH and so I am hoping they will get something sorted out for the care of Danny. I can't do it? I can’t look after DH and him all at the same time. I can't nurse them both. Not with that kind of surgery as it doubtless will take months to recover and what about the time he will be in hospital?????? Who will look after Danny while I rush up and down to him???????? I so want Dan into Residential care but last time we were reviewed they only let us have three nights a month. Clearly this is not working DH is not able for Dan anymore.
Am I being unreasonable saying I don’t want the boy living here?????? It sounds awful! I feel such a dreadful mother, but I get the feeling it is a choice between having Dan here and struggling to the bitter end and seeing DH have heart failure! Or Danny going to care full time and at least we have a shot at some kind of life together after all the heart and spinal stuff? At least I don’t have to care for Ben anymore. I simply am beside myself with all this.
Last night I came home sorted everything put DH into bed and went to bed at 7.30 in the evening! I can't keep going and today I feel dreadful yet I have to keep going as DH can’t do anything so I have to take the brunt of the care stuff. Want to scream! DH is in bed and Dan is just back from day care. Everything just seems to get worse and I am not without a tad of depression about it all.

Oes - Ugh drowning in disability again!!!!!!!

 

[smudge]

No, you are not unreasonable in wanting a break from this... And it's pretty clear that if you don't get a break, you will become sick yourself. Please, if that headache persists, get it checked out. While it's probably "just stress", but "just stress" is still something.

Maybe if they won't give you more help with Dan, they can at least arrange for therapy for you. Not that you need therapy, but it'd be good for you to have 45 minutes to rant/scream at someone.

Oh wait, you'd have to do that during your "free" time.

Which you don't have.

You are not a bad mother. You clearly love your sons, and have sacrificed a lot for them. The problem is that no matter what you do, Dan will still be disabled and challenging so. There is nothing you can do to improve him, make him easier to deal with. But you husband could die, and he's clearly been a good man and deserves some comfort in his suffering, and maybe with a little less stress, a chance of some improvement in his health. And if you were facing this without some sense of sadness, or depression, or questioning whether you were a failure - well then you would be a bad mother. It's because of your heart that you've agonized over this so.

Take care...