Raising daughters

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I am trying so hard to be a good mother and I feel like I am failing so miserably.

My DD is ten and she is an exceptional child. She has a very high IQ but dyslexia which drives her insane. She is very intuitive, but also moody and given to a terrible temper (something sadly she inherited from me). She is perceptive to a fault and can be extremely critical which is something I do not handle well.

I know what I SHOULD do as a parent. Most of the times I know what I am Supposed to say, but I am also human. And she can be as irritating as a mosquito in the night. She follows me around criticizing me. She tells me she is angry at me but that she won't tell me what for. Everything I do that she thinks is a mistake she points out. If I had wanted that in my life I would have stayed married to my first husband! I made a point of getting toxic people out of my life and now I gave birth to one??!?!?! When I tell her she cannot do anything that she knows pretty much she is not allowed to do anyway, she starts the fit. I know the teens are coming, but they can't be here already can they??

If that is what this is I am going to have to put her up on Ebay! I will not be able to do this for 8 more years!

 

[redhen]

Your child is being disrespectful to you...
You're the adult.
'nuff said..

 

[sfw2]

What Red said.

And, yes, the hormone-driven crap starts much earlier than it did when we were that age. Good news? They seem to grow out of it sooner, too. Or my girls did.

Good luck, and remember, a good, deep, cleansing breath, in through the nose, and out through the mouth, will get you further than screaming.

 

[TyrannosaurusChix]

i think its a virus or something!!!! I have 2 around that age and they seem to think they can dictate things to me. They can't, end of story.

Im the parent, they are the children.

They arent happy, and rarely am i... they stomp and slam doors now and i feel like knocking their doors off their hinges.


I remember doing stuff like that when i was 10 or so... so its to be expected!


The thing im having the most trouble with is that they have no chores and i have to fight with them over the condition of their rooms and stuff.. and the response i get is "I wont clean if, because, until"... and fill in the blank after that. and then refer to the third line in my post

 

[dipence71]

I am sorry you are going through this, been there doing that. My DD is 18 and still living at home for the next 2 yrs through college getting her basics in. Some days I just wanna rip her hair out.

All I can say is try to lay down ground rules NOW. And learn how to blow off steam other ways.
Speaking of the little devil she just ticked me off, came in here just now, because I commented on her facebook status and we are about to go round!!!
Good luck...

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

They often act (both of them) like it is my duty as mother to do all of the chores and that any slight assistance they provide is cause for a congressional medal of honor!

I am talking to my DH about going on strike and refusing to feed them or help them in anyway in order to get through to them. Of course the house will become a pig sty! But, it might be worth it.


She is being somewhat disrespectful, but I am also trying not to parent her like my parents did me - I was taught that I had no right to be angry about anything so I never learned to do anything with my anger but deny it and stifle it until it turned into depression. Anger is often there for a reason and learning how to tell the difference between anger that tells you someone is actually doing something wrong to you and anger that is unjustified is a major life lesson for those of us with bad tempers.

 

[agnes_day]

i wouldnt allow a child to tell me they are angry with me, much less point out my "faults".
i would put my foot down and put it down hard or you are going to be in for it when shes older.

 

[dipence71]

I believe there need to be a attitude adjustment camp for disrespectful pre teen and teens. They need attitude boot camp!!!

 

[agnes_day]

and if they slam the doors, take the door. i did that to my oldest. if ive learned anything about parenting, its that you have to keep the boundary lines clear..seriously, kids have no right to complain about anything..if they dont like the way things are, they can get a job and find somewhere else to be.

 

[EweSheep]

Ask me when my daughter gets to be that age in four years.....not looking forward into it.