Raising daughters

[Three Cedars Silkies]

My DD was begining to be like this when she was 10. Very sharp, highly intellectual and verbal. But she was still a child. Similarly, I didn't want to raise her exactly like I was raised either, but I quickly learned that what makes children feel very secure and loved are parents that are willing to set boundaries, stick with them, say what they mean and mean what they say.

They don't receive any security or feel loved by being allowed to say most of what they want to say...when they want to say it. Just makes for a mouthy kid that no ones likes or respects.

Stop letting her criticize you for ANYTHING. That is not her right or responsibility. Be the parent...and make her be the child. Just because they are bright, intuitive, perceptive, etc...they are still a child. Tell her that when her frontal lobe is completely matured at about age 23 she can talk to you about your behavior. Until then, your the parent and she's the kid. She doesn't have to like it...but I promise you she will have a LOT more respect for you.

 

[agnes_day]

 

[redhen]

Quote:
What she said...

 

[ScaredOfShadows]

Quote:
What she said...

X2

 

[PineappleMama]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

She tells me she is angry at me but that she won't tell me what for. Everything I do that she thinks is a mistake she points out.

Yikes, she sounds like those really awful wives that men are constantly griping about. She really needs to learn that this isn't cool or she is never going to be happy in relationships outside home.

Also, hate to say it, but it might be a biological thing... SIL was a whole 9 years old when she was "fully formed" and her mom had the most AWFUL time trying to deal... how to explain that while physically you're mature mentally you aren't so NO you can't do ___...? And with a new baby brother... that took all mom's attention... well all factors included she ended up going way past mood swings... so if you can head that off at the pass you have to try.

And if your way works please lemme know since my DD will be 8 Thursday and I'm getting an ulcer worrying that I've got a year to figure this out... I just keep telling myself she'll take after my (lateblooming 14) side...

 

[Miltonchix]

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IMHO this is the reason. Kids have all that energy and no way to get rid of it anymore. My mother probably would have killed me as a child if I hadn't grown up in a small town that I could run all day everyday and not get into trouble. My friends moms would have boxed my ears then called my mother to do it again when I got home. But we played sun up to sun down (AFTER our chores were done) and RARELY watched TV.

 

[chickabator]

been going through that now for 11 years my dd is 21 and is still like that my youngest is 20 she has her moments but you need to put your foot down now and dont let her disrespect you like that I know from experience. even had the threat of the police being called 1 time never again now mine are gone to college and I miss them sooo much my heart wishes they were still the 10 yr olds but I sure hope it gets better tell me if it does

 

[turney31]

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I agree with this, but that said it sounds like from your description of her actions that she has an OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY. It is possible that when you do something " wrong " in her view that it literally makes her physically uncomfortable. ( Don't ask how I know this.) Try to sit her down and ask that question and explain that while she feels that way is correct other people have different ways of doing things and different ways of thinking. Tell her you are willing to listen to her reasoning but then you will choose how to do it. I'm thinking that if you felt her shoulder muscles while she is having a melt down they would be rock hard. Anxiety.(SP) Just my opinion from experience.

Micah

 

[Boyd]

daughters give you white hair

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

Obsessive Compulsive is not a personality. It is an anxiety disorder. True, this child could have OCD, but that is easily recognized and diagnosed by a mental health professional.

It could also be Oppositional Defiance Disorder...but probably not.

It really sounds like a typical kid that has been allowed to express them self in unhealthy and unacceptable ways.