Rant!!!! Another Mother Yelling And Dissing My Kid!!!!

[BigIslandChicks]

Quote:
Exactly the same way. I do NOT stand for adults who hurt children. Whether that's with fists or words attacking a child is WRONG, period.

Her reaction to being called on it is identical to how any other child abuser acts "It's for their own good" "They deserved it" "It's Their Fault" "It's not your business".

I don't even want to think of what that poor woman's child has to go through.

Give your DD a hug from me...

YOU get a

and that "woman" gets a

X2

see you totally did the right thing!

7 pages of it!! do not apologize,

maybe just send them a xmas card or give them some eggs

then she will be like "uhhh can you believe they gave us eggs after she yelled at us - my poor pathetic woosy husband still tears up when i am telling the story to every single neighbor and person at the grocery store - can you believe the nerve of that women" ha ha do not apologize. maybe kill them with kindness?

 

[welsummerchicks]

How you should have reacted is to apologize, silently either leave with your daughter, or get to somewhere where the other person is not.

There is no excuse for yelling and screaming at people in public. Just walk away - walk away. It does not matter one bit what the other person is doing. You worry about your behavior, that's who you have control over. You can't control what other people do, only yourself.

I have a lot of experience with crisis intervention, and I am here to tell you - the best way to handle it is to say, 'We're sorry' and GET OUT OF THERE. WALK AWAY. NEVER argue with someone in public. WHY? Because things get started and they escalate, and you have no idea where they are going to go.

When you yell, you just make the other person yell more. That's just instinct, it will never get you anywhere. They believe they are right in what they saw. You can't change their mind til they are calmer. That's the nature of crisis. People are SURE they are right in a crisis - each side, no matter what, each side is sure they are right.

It also reflects badly on your family, and it tends to disprove the idea that daughter was raised right and wouldn't be noisy.

Keep in mind that yelling escalated the situation - you made it much worse than what it already was. Kids need to learn - if they're with noisy kids they get lumped in with them.

 

[jerseygirl1]

I guess that's your opinion

Oh, forget it
It'll jsut start an argument and get the thread closed

 

[welsummerchicks]

It is the way many people would see it, not everyone will see it the same way. I should be allowed to say what I think, without being attacked or put down or insulted, I never asked anyone to agree with me, I only stated what I felt she should have done. No, it isn't really 'how I said it', it's that I don't see the mother as being in the right - no matter how I said it, if I didn't agree with the majority here, I would be in trouble.

That's not right. It's important to understand that other people don't always agree, and that doesn't make you right and them wrong. It means a difference of opinion, and if anyone is to ever get along with anyone else, it needs to be recognized for what it is - opinion. Not fact - opinion, whether it agrees with the majority here or not. And the OTHER side is 'opinion' too, and nothing more.

I come from a different perspective - crisis intervention. I've seen people come to blows over these things, and fights involving dozens of people and severe injuries and fatalities - and YES - such things DO start over 'little things'. In one case, the size of a serving of gravy, for God's sake, and BOTH SIDES were SO SURE they were 'in the right' and SOOO justified.

That is why I say - WALK AWAY - do not be egged on, no matter what the other person does. It does not matter what the other person does.

So the lady yelled, you yelling does not make that right. We are not snarling dogs, we have control over how we react, we don't have to snarl just because someone else does. AN eye for an eye makes everyone blind.

What do we say when our children get into a conflict? We teach them to WALK AWAY. WALK AWAY. Why the double standard for adults? Why is it ok for an adult to get down and roll in the mud, but not the kid? What sort of example does it set? People teach by action, not word.

Anyone can start a fight - it takes something very, very different to stop a fight.

 

[jerseygirl1]

The way I see it

I would never let someone intimidate a child either verbally or physically in such a way that it totally disrepects that child, or any child

And I am saying what I think

 

[perolane]

Quote:
X 2

You must be kidding????? To say "you're sorry" for something you didn't do?? And what may I ask does that teach your child??....to be a meek little mouse that feels everything is their fault???

Stand up for what's right!

 

[welsummerchicks]

When a person says 'I'm sorry', you have no idea what they are saying they are sorry about, it has nothing to do with being a mouse or not standing up for what's right - 'what's right' then and there, is not always standing up for a child, that again, is opinion, often, it's more important to stop the fight than to be 'in the right', because the fight could get very out of hand and a lot of things said and done that cannot be taken back.

'I'm sorry' usually means, 'I'm sorry I met you today', it is just a way of getting out of there. Aside from that, there is no need to say anything at all, just leave.

What's right is your opinion, again. There are different ways of dealing with problems than what the majority thinks here - some would say, far more effective ways, far less dangerous ways, even, ways are better for the kid. And on another bulletin board, the 'majority' would be a different opinion.

This problem was presented from only one person's point of view. The description from the other people's points of view, might be very, very different, as to who was 'wrong' and who went 'ballistic' and what the kid was doing out of the mother's sight, and what principle was being offended.

Odds are, if the other person got here first and posted their point of view, the emotions would be swinging in a different direction.

 

[Sjisty]

Welsummerchicks -

I agree that you are allowed your opinion, as are we all, and I don't judge you for it. What works for you is all well and good.

That being said, those of us mother hens will always rear up to protect our young, right or wrong. I would have reacted in the same way as Natalie, and have! I vehemently disagree with your statement about the daughter not being raised right just because her mother defended her vocally. I would rather teach my children to be strong supporters of what they feel is right rather than meek little mice who are afraid to stand up for themselves or their beliefs.

 

[welsummerchicks]

You did not read what I said - at all. I didn't say that. I said the mother yelling in public does not support the impression she is trying to make.

And again, I suggest this discussion would be on 'disrespectful kids these days' if the other person involved had posted here. It's just a point of view and nothing more. The description from the other pov would be very, very different.

 

[perolane]

Quote:
Everyone will have their differences on a matter like this. If the child was indeed misbehaving away from the parent, you have a chat with the parent.

I'll just say that anyone who would bully my child this way...well..."I"M SORRY" is not an option for me. As a matter of fact, "THEY"RE sorry" would come quite quickly!