***Rant & Vent *** How do you deal with this hurt for a near 13 yo?

[shawnkfl]

i'm sorry to haer this crap going on in your life. just my $.02....that $16,000.00 would be worth that signature to me, just for the peace of mind and easing that little girls soul. it sounds like you'll never see any of it anyway

 

[Dar]

I really feel for you....

I started a thread last week that was almost the same
https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=196923

its not easy...all you can do is be there for her....she knows you and her dad love her...she will quickly get over the rejection of the donor...

 

[Sillystunt]

I know this sounds mean but she better get used to it!

My ex did the same thing over and over to my daughter when she was younger. I could have killed him but he didn't even work so no SSI checks would come if i did...urgh

I would pack her up and she would sit.......waiting.......sitting......crying......sitting....and then freak out!

I finally put an end to it! He owes me well over 18 grand and hasen't seen her since she was 6 and she is 16 now. He said the same thing about signing papers...lol must be a dead beat dad script out there on google!!!

I went through the hurt and anger and finally said, BRITT you should be mad! You have the right to be angry and lash out but remember to lash out on the right person. And that every dog has his day and it will come oneday for your dad. God don't like ugly and right now your dad is UGLY!

He,might i add...has 3 other baby mamma's and they all don't get squat!

She will never get over it but will soon just get used to it!
SUCKS!!!

Focus on the positive in her life such as you, her step dad, etc. they are the people who count! Actions always speak louder then words and she will be OK!

P.S
dear President Obama,
I voted for you and believe in change! One thing to change is enforcement in the USA. Collection of child support will lower the people on cash assistance, food stamps and gov. health care! You will lower you numbers on goverment backed daycare, sec 8 and other services geared for single mothers.....
this will give you the $$$ numbers needed to get our country back to work. it will lower the deficit and with that money you can build a JAIL for all the dead beat dads who still won't pay!!
Yours truley,
Every single mother out there trying to make a $ and give their children a fighting chance in this world

 

[chickeypoo]

My gut and heart say I need to scoop her up and run out and buy a baby bunny that she can cuddle on and hold close. My mind on the other hand is wanting to get armed to the teeth and drive to Florida to go butthead hunting. Unfortunately I think the season is closed on them.

do both

lol. i do believe maybe she could use something snuggly as well.

my daughter just turned 11 yesterday. her "father" lives with his parents(who she goes to see every three weekends or so) and he always leaves when she comes to see them. to see his friends, to do his gaming stuff. just be a stupid idiot lol. so, my daughter feels your daughters pain.

though, our situation is a bit different. he has paid support. but not very willingly and he threw a fit right in the court house when they actually made him pay. so... he asked his mom finally, what to do to show his love.. and i'm like... how hard is that? spend a few hours with her... take her to the mall, take her to the park, take her to a movie.. fly a kite, make something with her. help her with her home work.. watch tv together.. take her to Mc donalds lol. i mean.. are guys just that stupid(i shouldn't say just guys... but you know what i mean) so anyway..

I'm not the best mom, and i get angry with her.. but i tell you i couldn t' ever treat her the way my ex does. I take her places, i do stuff with her..

let your daughter show her emotions. tell her it's ok to be mad, and sad and some parents just aren't good enough to be in their lives.

i commend your hubby. my hubby and your hubby must be twins lol. my hubby loves my oldest DD like our two youngest

i gotta say there aren't many men out there like that. so congrats on that. just keep hugging your DD and tell her you love her and will be there for her.

your post made me very sad and angry... and i hope that it gets over soon. i'm sure my ex would sign away his rights too if he knew he didn't have to pay support. maybe i should put a bug in his ear.. lol. so that way i do'tn have to deal with him anymore. oh and she does know that my ex/her dad is a selfish, angry person. and she's upset but doesn't show it really.

well, i should go. i wanna hug your DD.


take care
Sue​

 

[JenEric Farms]

Your ex and my ex may be the same man! My daughter, currently 17 sees her "real" father once a year for about a day. I live in Maine, he in tennessee and i pay to send her down. He actually offered to give me sole custody with no visitation if he could no longer be accountable for child support. I said, okay. The judge said no way. The judge got angry actually at both of us. He said that child support is not intended to be a burden and is not to help either parent but for sole benefit of the child (which i totally agree with), so it wasn't my decision to make on giving it up or not. He actually up'd how much my ex had to pay and i am no longer responsible for for ensuring visitation, if he wants to see her he has to come here or pay to send her there (which in the last 10 years he has never done), i still pay to send her once or twice a year because she is very close with my ex husbands mother and sister, which by the way is who she stays with when she goes and he shows up for dinner occasionally. No birthday cards, no holiday calls, no anything...WHAT A JERK!!! I never say anything rude about him in front of her and she doesn't know that he once tried to "get rid of her". I keep hoping one day he'll want a real relationship and i don't want to be the one that kept them from having it. I just hope he doesn't wait until her heart is completely hardened.

I feel so sorry for your daughter, I can't tell you how many times I have seen the heart break and tears from broken promises and missed visits. They just want to be accepted and loved don't they? They aren't asking for much...

 

[Shared Acres]

That is so sad to hear. I feel for you and her.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

This makes me so freaking

I don't understand why some people participate in the making of children and then refuse to take care of them. Selfishness? Immaturity? I don't know, but I feel so bad that you and your family have to go through this, especially your daughter. Give him a good verbal

for me.

 

[JennsPeeps]

Your daughter may not see it this way but she is so lucky to have a father who chose her, who loves her as she is, and who wants only to see her fly.

As for the sperm donor who helped create her, he's worthless and she'll be lucky to have him out of her life.

 

[crazy cat lady]

Let's make it triplets on these ex husbands. I too have one who could careless about his 4 children. Has never seen his grandson and his new granddaughter. My daughter and her 3 brothers no longer think of him as their dad. I know it isn't right, but they call him by his name. My daughter has given this man every chance in the world to be a dad, andeverytime he let her down. I know how your daughter is hurting.

He too never once paid any child support. Wouldn't let my second hubby adopt them.

Give that DD of your s a huge hug and shel will know who cares about her and as she gets older, she will also know that you will always be there for her, as well as her Dad ( your hubby).

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

My heart is breaking for your daughter. I know exactly how she feels, as in, she wants a relationship with her real father, and obviously loves him inspite of him being a deadbeat.