Some of you know me well enough to know my life's history and others only know me enough to know I am married, have 2 kids, a great husband, a grandson, 30 chickens and 11 ducklings. But, the one thing I have been dealing with over the years is an ex-husband who repeatedly hurt his daughter with broken promises, excuses and out right lies. On the subjects of why he went 8 months without calling her, why he had not spend any visitation time with her and why he could not even send a birthday or christmas card, much less a gift. My husband and I married when she was 4 years old and the bond between the two of them was instant. Our wedding ceremony was in two parts. My husband and I took our vows and married and then my husband and daughter took their vows. She promised to be his little girl and he promised to be her dad, and with that began a relationship that is divided only by the fact that another man is her blood father. Neither of them will tolerate the word "step" when rreferring to her as his daughter or him as her dad. As far as the two of them are concerned...that is Dad and she is his daughter and the same in reverse. So...everything should be happy right? Not. Why? Because of one man who insists on repeatedly popping into her life just long enough to encourage her, build-up her confidence and hopes in a closer relationship between the two of them. So, two years ago she outright asked him to let my husband adopt her and told him that was what she wanted. She did this without word one to my husband and I. We got the news after her father went totally off on her in reply to her request. He agreed. I flew from Oregon to Florida with the papers for him to sign and a hearing date set to meet the judge and as the current popular statement goes...Get er' done. He was a no show. I returned to Oregon and had to tell Cheyenne that he did not sign the papers or even show up. she was once again crushed. 8 months ago he pops up on the radar again with constant daily calls that lasted for 5 weeks...then nothing. He called in Januarym after having missed the holidays, and tells her how much he misses her and loves her. then nothing...until 20 minutes ago. He tells her he loves her, asks how she is and asks to speak to me. I says Hello and he says... "Send me the papers to give her up and let me look them over because I need to do the right thing for her". Well HELLLLLLLOOOOO JERK...doing the right thing should have happened before you decided to spend months in between phone calls, making promises with no intention of keeping and shown her your love even if it was a phone call to ask her about her day. So, my natural response was "Okay why this sudden decision?" Here comes the rest of the call...wait for it because it is a doozy...... IT: "How much do I owe in back child support?" Me: Almost $16,000.00 IT: "If I sign the papers does that go away?" Me: Nope...but any future child support obligation does. IT: "Will you write off the back stuff if I sign the papers?" Me: Nope Because I have already written off $9,450.00 and told you then that was it IT: "Okay but it was worth a try...send the papers to me" Me: Uh huh Now I am dealing with a daughter who is beyond ticked off...she is in a rage. Can I blame her? Nope. Can I console her? Nope Her position is simple..."So, he will sign me over and do the right thing IF he does not have to pay to help support me for the last 5 years? So I am not important as a daughter only as a financial obligation?" The hurt I saw in her eyes mixed with the gentle tears is ripping at my very soul. *sigh* My gut and heart say I need to scoop her up and run out and buy a baby bunny that she can cuddle on and hold close. My mind on the other hand is wanting to get armed to the teeth and drive to Florida to go butthead hunting. Unfortunately I think the season is closed on them. I am angry, I am saddened and I am just ill over it. My daughter is hurting and I cannot fix it or make it better. Okay my rant is over.... *sigh* time to go hold a duckling.