Really, super poor people.

[Spookwriter]

XKE is SO right....even a good thing can backfire.

Did a similar thing for a local family. Neither parent works, four children.
We've given food, clothes, Christmas. Even graveled their driveway. Have
paid their bills.

But did it help in the end?

Parents still won't work. (Have known them for years. They don't work, don't
intend to work) The children still have very little, do poorly in school. Not the
childrens fault. But I do blame the parents. This is the lifestyle that they have
choosen to live.

Now the parents show up at least once a month expecting us to do something
else for them. And it's pointless...until someone desires to help theirself, you cannot
help them.

 

[Rozzie]

That kind of poverty often is associated with drug or alcohol abuse or mental illness. Make sure that whatever type of help you give is not in a form where it will be sold/traded for drugs or alcohol. Take off tags so that items can't be taken back to the store to get cash for drugs or booze.

Doesn't stop the possibility, but it does reduce it.

Frankly, it sounds like there is more going on that poverty. Poverty is not really an excuse for not bathing, unless the family has no access to running water. A person can sponge bathe with an old rag and a basin of water, even if it is cold water. Dirty bodies & filthy clothes usually indicate more than being poor, at least if it's an ongoing thing.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

i'm going to wait a few days (til DH gets paid, since i literally have 12 dollars right now

) and hopefully my # will have phased out of their caller ID... and they might even forget that I was there, or who I was. I will contact the school, I bet I know someone who can give me a personal reference with a teacher there (not technically my town), and see what the kids might need... love your support for this idea, most people are very, very lucky, and don't realize it, don't realize that it's our duty to share the blessings we receive. And yes, I am a bit concerned about the response... so I'm going to be very sneaky... maybe enlist the aid of our postal delivery dude. He's a nice guy, and I know he delivers their mail too. that way it'd be delivered without any drama...

 

[chickaddict]

It's horrible to think about but some people just don't want to help themselves, they will however gladly except help from others.




Just goes to show------



no matter how bad you think you have it, there will always be somebody (probably many,many somebodies) that have it far worse.

 

[AngieChick]

It's wonderful of you to help. There are many different levels of poor, and no matter how you adjust your thinking or your behavior, you can't get blood from a stone.

 

[chics in the sun]

It is wonderful that you are going to help them, and I agree that food is best. As a social worker, I have to add my 2 cents - it does sound like Child Protective serivces needs to be called. If they are not feeding their children and caring for them, that is just what needs to happen. If they can help the family stay together and take better care of the kids, they will. If the situation is past that point, the children will be cared for by someone else. It's not a popular thing to do, and I'm sure people will chime in with horror stories about foster care, but that is beside the point. An investigation needs to happen first, and they will hopefully get a better understanding of what is happening in this family. As a poster above stated, they should be recieving at least enough food stamps to feed the kids. Although I don't agreed that being poor is ALWAYS the result of bad choices, the situation you describe - that type of poor - is OFTEN the result of bad choices related to addictions and poor decisions (at least in this country). No judgement there, just my observation. They probably need help that goes beyond the monetary kind.

 

[boykin2010]

i agree with some of the people on here. talk to a local church. my church helps any families that are in need and helps them find jobs and pay for small things they need. groceries food lights etc. it is really good you are doing this. do you know if the people have jobs are not.

the one thing that makes me mad is someone who doesnt have anything because they are lazy and dont want to work. it is one thing if you cant find a job and you are actually trying but i have been around helping people who have 5 to 10 children and numerous grandchildren all living in a small trailor or appartment. the people in the house dont want to work and they dont care what their life is like. they just want to be lazy and get stuff for free.

one example is a lady called my church to help feed her family. ( big family like mentioned above.) we spent a good amount of money on food and tried to give it to her and she rejected the offer and said if we cant cook the food for her that it is a waste of her time. she wanted us to make casseroles and food for her everyday. she didnt want cereal or anything that required even the tiniest amount of work on her part. people like that make me so mad. especially after someone nice was trying to help you

 

[oswegoscott]

chickensducks&agoose :

i only met the mom, and she didn't look fed or warm either. it's possible the dad is a super jerk, and chooses to have his family in such a situation.... so i thought I'd drop stuff off during the day. i don't have a church locally, but I know people who do, and will pass on the information. good call on the 'getting to the store' thing... hadn't thought about that. it just somehow feels more charity-like, to drop off food, than a card. the dogs are used for hunting, poaching really, i agree they don't need that many of them. i think some are young, they were trying to sell some about 6 months ago, probably a litter from their unfixed hunting hounds. I'm going to call the grandma, and ask her the ages/genders of the kids. i can't imagine that they're going to be able to put on a gifty christmas.

you know how there's poor, and then there's POOR? Now i know, i have to do something.

You are making a lot of assumptions. Maybe the father is NOT a jerk. Maybe they like living like that. Maybe they don't want or need help.
Also,if you can't afford to heat your own house,well, it seems dumb to give your money away​

 

[oswegoscott]

chickensducks&agoose :

told DH about it, he says they probably make the same $$ that we do... and that poor is a way of behavior, not of financial status. I don't care, I'm dropping off dogfood, kidfood and a few small presents. probably won't do a grocery card, but maybe a McDonalds card or something...we have one 7 miles away, and i know the dad has a car. I really think, that if everyone goes out into the world, and can spare $50, even when you can't REALLY spare $50, you still sort of can... we have debt, but $50 isn't going to make a difference to us.. and it might to them.... even if it's just a kick in the pants, or a revelation that humanity is good... or that they should think about their kids... or maybe it'll just make them mad... but people have to try.

Yeah,give them 50 bucks--after all,your brother will pay your propane bill.​

 

[Rozzie]

chickensducks&agoose :

I just discovered a very, very poor family about 3 miles from my rural home. They have 4+ dogs, and some little kids, and broken windows in their home, and are thin, disheveled and dirty. I am broke, but not like that. we have food and heat (even though our propane was a present from my brother, cause we can't afford it) and my kids bathe, and my house is well insulated and we're okay. this family isn't okay. When DH gets paid on wednesday, i'm going up to walmart and picking up a 50lb bag of dog food, as well as a gift card to a local grocery store and a few gender non-specific presents. we don't have much, but it really seems that this family is in dire need of help. i can't think of anything beyond an anonymous donation... i don't want them mad at me, or feeling weird about it or anything... but i really wish I could actually make a difference.... thoughts?

Whoa! Just went back to the original post. If you can't afford to heat your OWN house, you can't afford to be buying things for other people. Concentrate on taking care of your own family first. Do alert others -- the school, Salvation Army, churches, etc. to this family's situation. However, if you can't provide heat for your own household, and need to get help for this, then you can't afford to feed other people's dogs...​