Rude Behavior, I'm Perplexed
- Thread starter herfrds
- Start date
It is sad the way society seems to be deteriorating.
I for one, am teaching my sons (and daughter) to hold open doors, to have good manners, to always let an elder go first no matter where you are, and mostly just plain ol respect and decency. Its ok to stand up for yoursel and not be taken advantage of, but to think only of yourself is not an option.
It is ridiculous how acceptable that type of behavior is becoming.
yesterday I was leaving Tractor Supply and a gentleman caught the door and held it for me to walk through and I said "Thank you"...the man's wife snarled "Why is she thanking you?" and turned to me and snarled "Why are you thanking him?" all nasty and stuff. I said...
"I was thanking him for catching the door so it did not knock me down, it was a kindness on his part and I have no intentions of trying to steal him from you!"
My husband just shook his head over it all.
yesterday I was leaving Tractor Supply and a gentleman caught the door and held it for me to walk through and I said "Thank you"...the man's wife snarled "Why is she thanking you?" and turned to me and snarled "Why are you thanking him?" all nasty and stuff. I said...
"I was thanking him for catching the door so it did not knock me down, it was a kindness on his part and I have no intentions of trying to steal him from you!"
My husband just shook his head over it all.
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I agree. I make an effort to hold doors with a smile for everyone no matter how old they are and am not offended it people don't hold it for me. There are many other things in life that are more important and a little thing like holding a door is not anything I want to stress about. I hope that my small effort to be cheerful and courteous will put a little happiness in someone else's day and it makes me feel better to do it.
As RidgeRunner said
I agree. I make an effort to hold doors with a smile for everyone no matter how old they are and am not offended it people don't hold it for me. There are many other things in life that are more important and a little thing like holding a door is not anything I want to stress about. I hope that my small effort to be cheerful and courteous will put a little happiness in someone else's day and it makes me feel better to do it.
As RidgeRunner said
rude is in the eye of the beholder
My daughter lives in Japan and when we visited her there we noticed that no one holds the doors open for anyone. When we did hold the doors, people looked at us strangely and did not say thank you. My daughter advised that it is not the custom in Japan to hold doors or speak with strangers even to say "Thank you". She lives in a very small town and I think during the time we were there we were considered the odd Americans as we held doors and spoke with strangers on our walks through the park.
My daughter lives in Japan and when we visited her there we noticed that no one holds the doors open for anyone. When we did hold the doors, people looked at us strangely and did not say thank you. My daughter advised that it is not the custom in Japan to hold doors or speak with strangers even to say "Thank you". She lives in a very small town and I think during the time we were there we were considered the odd Americans as we held doors and spoke with strangers on our walks through the park.
Oh yeah,, the men around here regularly shut the door in your face or wait for the women to open it so they can walk through like kings.... manners>?? I see more in the youth today than in the adults!
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In many societies, waiting your turn or not trying to push to the front are considered strange behavior. I'm not a sociologist or anything lke that, but my thought is that if the resources are limited, unless you push and shove your way to the front, you are going to do without. You don't give anyone a chance to beat you out for the limited resources. And if you live in a very crowded society, you greatly value your privacy. Being open, friendly, and what I consider courteous is considered invasion of privacy in some societies. I think these values and behaviors are set early in the civilization and are very hard to change, even when conditions change.
As far as responding to what I consider rudeness in other people, If their Mommy and Daddy failed them, then that is their problem, not mine. I did not take them to raise. I raised my own, thank you, and mine do understand the concept of please and thank you.
In many societies, waiting your turn or not trying to push to the front are considered strange behavior. I'm not a sociologist or anything lke that, but my thought is that if the resources are limited, unless you push and shove your way to the front, you are going to do without. You don't give anyone a chance to beat you out for the limited resources. And if you live in a very crowded society, you greatly value your privacy. Being open, friendly, and what I consider courteous is considered invasion of privacy in some societies. I think these values and behaviors are set early in the civilization and are very hard to change, even when conditions change.
As far as responding to what I consider rudeness in other people, If their Mommy and Daddy failed them, then that is their problem, not mine. I did not take them to raise. I raised my own, thank you, and mine do understand the concept of please and thank you.
I think rude is just rude, plain and simple. If someone barges past me in a way that feels rude to me, then it is rude, period. I have bad days too, but I don't go barging past people. Sure, if I get a grouchy cashier, I consider that maybe he or she is having a lousy day, and so I make a point to ask how they are doing, and to try to get them to smile, but some people are just plain rude without cause. Not every rude person has an ill relative that they are hurrying to see. Some people are just jerks, hurrying to go be miserable to someone else. I like the "Mean People Suck" bumper sticker. I don't want to see a bumper sticker that says "Mean People May Be Having a Bad Day So You Should Consider That Before Being Offended". Sorry, but it just loses the point. I try to be a compassionate person, but I think two separate people barging past the OP at a restaurant was not okay, it was just plain rude.
- Jan 12, 2010
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I have a Jeep, and for those of you who have Jeeps, you know there is a "Jeep Wave". Anytime a Jeep passes another Jeep, we wave to each other, or sometimes people will do a peace sign. It always makes me wonder why that's just a Jeep thing (I know a lot of bikers do it too), but why not everyone? Sometimes I try randomly waving at people but they just look confused and keep going. The only other exception is on my road, because it's a narrow dirt road and if you happen to have two cars passing, one has to pull off to the side. So then the other person waves thank you, but that's about it.
Yes there's definatly a jeep thang... my BF has one and we go on wave rides all the time (can't miss her's, it's a 1976 jeep painted like a US flag).... Same for motorcyclists, used to be you just waved at fellow Harley riders, but it's gotten to include anyone on a bike, we gotta stick together no matter what you ride!
I always try to hold doors for anyone, behind or infront of me.... and I won't hesitate to make an equally rude comment to someone who doesn't show some degree of manners.
I have a Jeep, and for those of you who have Jeeps, you know there is a "Jeep Wave". Anytime a Jeep passes another Jeep, we wave to each other, or sometimes people will do a peace sign. It always makes me wonder why that's just a Jeep thing (I know a lot of bikers do it too), but why not everyone? Sometimes I try randomly waving at people but they just look confused and keep going. The only other exception is on my road, because it's a narrow dirt road and if you happen to have two cars passing, one has to pull off to the side. So then the other person waves thank you, but that's about it.
Yes there's definatly a jeep thang... my BF has one and we go on wave rides all the time (can't miss her's, it's a 1976 jeep painted like a US flag).... Same for motorcyclists, used to be you just waved at fellow Harley riders, but it's gotten to include anyone on a bike, we gotta stick together no matter what you ride!
I always try to hold doors for anyone, behind or infront of me.... and I won't hesitate to make an equally rude comment to someone who doesn't show some degree of manners.
In my opinion there are too many excuses in today's society for bad behavior. I have been through tough times, who hasn't? But while I was not myself during those times I did not treat other people badly or rudely because of it. And if I did catch myself being short with someone I would apologize and simply state it was a rough day. There is too much absolutely horrendous behavior as well as crimes committed that are all blamed on something else. So many people refuse to take responsibility for their own actions, it's always somebody elses fault or something done to them or not done to them etc. etc. that they did what they did.
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Well, I've got one, that frosted my --- the other day. About 8 people were standing in line, at the bank. In walks a black woman, and yes, I consider that important, with her house slippers on, walks to the front of the line, and says something to the old man, who was first. Then, walked up to the teller, and never even looked at the rest of the people in line...I said to the person behind me, "There's the end result of Affirmative Action, for you."
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