School Policy...*(&^&%!!!!!

[PattiXmas]

Quote:
Ummmm, yes I guess I could say I've been hungry before. My parents had 6 kids to take care of. I remember many nights of Pinto beans, corn bread and fried potatoes because pinto beans are cheap and would go along way. I remember being cold also. When we would run out of propane gas, we would have to burn wood in the wood stove. It worked great heating up the living room, but the bedrooms were another story. There was even times when I as a teenager would baby sit for other people and use the money I earned to help put food on the table or get some gas to run a chainsaw for us to have firewood. We didn't use "poverty" as an excuse in our education. We strove harder and harder to make sure that we got the most out of our education so we would be able to provide better for our families. My dad always told us that the only thing free and guaranteed in our lives as children was an education and that we should be thankful and get the most out of it so we were not "forced" to live our lives like they did.

Now, a question for all parents on here. Did you ever hide or not tell your parents about receiving a bad grade, detention or skipping school? Would you want your children to have the same opportunity for getting bad grades, detention or skipping school? Or would you rather be informed and know how your child was progressing? I honestly don't see what the big deal is with making sure children are all treated equally and have to follow the same rules. If anything, this is giving the teachers the information they will need to help a child whose parents aren't involved by maybe scheduling extra study times or allowing more classroom time for the children to get the work done and to make sure they understand it.

Maybe I'm just not liberal enough in my thoughts to realize that all parents should be given an "out" such as being poverty-stricken to the point that they cannot verify their children completed their homework. To me it makes me think that these parents are too wrapped up in themselves to really pay attention to their children.

 

[imtc]

I can see both sides and our school has the same policy. I was really bad about getting my daughter to school on time when I was driving her and I'm sure it would disrupt her class when they've already started their activities and she comes waltzing in late usually 5-10 minutes. I don't agree with the student being punished for that though but I was mostly the one notified of those occurances rather than my daughter being punished. As far as homework. I've had a lot of trouble getting my daughter to be responsible for hers...she'd "forget" it at school or I'd think she didn't have any if it wasn't written down somewhere. The teachers just do that so parents are aware of what's expected for that day and want verification that the parents also know since many of the kids won't take the responsibillity themselves. But I do feel your frustration...BTDT.

 

[Camelot Farms]

Lucky Ducky...

Thank you for helping me to make my point by sharing your story.

Children living in poverty live in a different world than others. A whole different set of rules/expectations and experiences. If these children dont have one place such as school where they can feel as though they are supported, understood and cared for when their homes dont provide it then where will society be?

My last example is another set your hair on fire moment. Our schools PTA does fund raisers...lots of fund raisers. The biggest one of the year is a candy sale. The incentive for selling is that if your child sells X amount of stuff then they can participate in the MEGA PARTY! which is held during the school day. It involves enormous inflatable rides and toys, junk food galore and a bunch of other stuff.

If your child doesnt sell the required amount of stuff, they do not get to go to the megaparty and instead stay in their regular class doing seat work. Wanna guess where my kid is on MEGA PARTY day? At home!

Can you imagine how those children feel whose parents didnt sell the required amount? We all know the kids arent the ones selling...its the parents.

Parents of children in poverty tend to know other parents of children in poverty. They dont have money to spend on candy and magazines and if they do, someone else is dissing them for not spending thier resources wisely.

So, on megaparty day, the kids whose parents worked hard and raised the money get to go to the event. Kids whose parents dont have those same resources sit and do desk work to the sounds of the mega party going on down the hall?

Punishing children for the parents choices in the school system is wrong.

 

[sparkles2307]

My 14 yo Stepson was getting D-F grades in ALL of his classes last year because he wasnt turing in his Homework. He would bring it home, DO IT, then leve it in his locker and never turn it in after completing it....I dont see how that's possible, I was very unsympathetic toward him in that area. His mom was also on him about it, but DH was like "He's a boy, he cant remember stuff like that." uh well if he can get it from school to home and back to school then not get it to class thats unacceptable. He's so much ebtter now that he gets consequences at his mom's for not turning it in.
Before my kids were school aged, and while I was with their father, I would go for days without eating to ensure that they DID eat. My kids were never hungry. It would still be that way now if I hadnt left the ex, they might'nt have had much but they'd have been warm and fed even if it meant me sleeping in their room to keep them warm and not eating for a few days. Coffee and smokes go a long way when you need to feed your kids.
I dont think that schools should do all that stupid fund-raising stuff anyways and my kids will not participate in it and I WILL make it abundantly clear what my oppinion is if the school forces the issue. Its unfair. When I was in High School, the groups like cheerleaders or band did fundraisers for trips, but not the entire school population thats stupid and I would have told them where to shove it had the admin handed me a bag of suckers to sell. That might have been why I got in trouble at school, I never did like them telling me to do stupid stuff even at age 16...

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Quote:
EXACTLY!

There are parents out there who just don't care period. Those parents aren't going to give a lick about a strike system, and no matter how many times the child is in trouble. The strike system doesn't work with these parents, punishing the child doesn't work with these parents. You can't make someone care who doesn't care! A teacher can punish the child of a non-caring parent all they want, but if mom's too worried about that next tattoo or body piercing or going on a Harley ride or their next fix, then they aren't going to care one bit how many times Sally had detention because they didn't sign a sheet.

Thinking that a strike system is going to open the communications between parents is a cop out. If the parent doesn't care, punishing their kid isn't going to change that.

I have a friend who does all that I described above. Right now, they are behind on rent, because having "toys" and "stuff" is more important to them than rent. Now they might be having to move by the 31 of this month Getting a new tattoo or a nose ring means more to them than paying bills. She recently quit her job because she didn't like her co-workers. Her daughters are left to their own devices for meals, getting homework done, getting dressed for school, etc. And they are elementary kids. Mom just doesn't care. She does good just to get up in the morning and get them on the bus. Then she's back to bed. Her husband and her have, well, there's no polite way I can describe the marraige they have here and keep it family friendly. Let's just say, it doesn't stay between the two of them. They really like their friends.

Parents like that can't be reformed by teachers punishing the child. It just doesn't work. A parent first has to care about their child, period.

 

[Lucky Ducky]

Quote:
This is the sad truth. And this is exactly the reason that a child shouldn't get punished because of the parent. I don't believe that poverty should be an out but that in some of those situations the child isn't their parents no.1 priority. Not every parent really cares about their child, much less cares about their child getting in trouble because of them. I truly wish it were different but unfortunately it's not. I expect a certain level of behavior out of my children but some could care less how their's act. Like you said some parents are too wrapped up in themselves, should a child in elementary school be punished because of it? NO!!! It is beyond their control. Doing their homework is in their control but forcing an adult to pay attention and sign some paper is NOT. To some children it could be devestating to them to get blamed and punished when they really tried to get their parent to do it but instead got beaten, only to go to school and be in trouble with another adult. Child abuse and neglect happen all the time and are not always noticed. I like my child's strike system because it is based on her behavior but if her school had one like the one the OP described, I would be up at the school having a cow because of the unfairness of it all. One teaches responsibility and the other seems to teach them to take the blame for the adults in their life. Just my honest opinion.

 

[rainplace]

I have to agree with the OP. I already went to school, I shouldn't have to do it again, I hated it. I hate science fair projects the most because I don't know how to do one. All my children have failed the science fair project except one who hooked up with his best friend's dad. It wasn't for lack of trying either, I just fail at school projects. I guess that makes me a bad parent? The child who's parent does the science fair project for him/her gets an A, what does that teach a child?

I sign the stupid piece of paper M-F, but I didn't for my oldest son for about a year. I had a complete mental breakdown after a traumatic experience, I'm glad none of you ever had to experience what I did, and if you did, you reacted differently than I did... you must be the better parent. It still irks me that his grades reflected that (I think it was 5% or something)

What I can or cannot afford, what I can or cannot do, shouldn't be part of my son's grades.

Anyway, I fought many years with teachers and schools about this and continue to do so. My participation or lack of should not reflect how my son is looked at in school.

 

[ODS-n-ENS FARM]

I do not agree with the strike or the reward system if it is for anything other than the child's behavior. A parents action or lack of action(for what ever reason) should not reflect on the child. Send home the homework folder,ask for parents signature. The parents that are active in the education will sign.Those that don't sign if there are concerns about the childs education call the parent. I understand all these studies where done saying children of involved parents do better.But seriously don't we want are children to learn responsibilty? It used to be the student was responsible for writing down homework assignment and doing his/her own homework that night. If it did not get done there was consequences the next day at school. Parents today are doing the homework/projects and fundraisers for their children. I can only assume they are in order to brag about how wonderful their child is or they have overbooked the child with activities and lessons. Children no longer have chores, the dogs go to daycare, the cleaning lady comes weekly and landscapers take care of the yard work. Are we taking away the responsibility of homework also?
Think I am going to

now.

 

[skeeter03]

My dd has had this system now for the last few years and I hate it! Every night I have to sign/initial at least 5 different things for each child - reading assignments homework agendas spelling and math - we do homework everyday usually right after supper while they are still sitting and I do the dishes while they do it so I can be close by and help out. most times I forget to sign something or another - they were punishing the kids for it and then I talked to the teacher and told her I didnt think its fair to punish a child for me being irresponsible or forgetful.
I do the homework with the kids and all the stuff but just sometimes the whole signing thing just gets pushed aside for a more pressing matter

 

[Eggs4Sale]

Quote:
This is exactly the same rules my son had at a parochial school. He would be VERY upset with me if I dropped him off to school late, which sometimes happened because we have a half-hour drive and I can't control road closures. Or if I forgot to sign something, strike. Get this, if I signed it WHILE DRIVING HIM TO SCHOOL, the teacher would get on him for that due to his thoughtlessness!

God forbid you forget to pack a lunch, or leave your lunchbox at school, or forget to wear your vest after a certain day, or wear tennis shoes on Friday.

After a year and a month of that, I pulled him out and returned to homeschooling. We're happy again.