She "dumped" her ferret on us. "Rant"

[The Chicken Lady]

I agree with packing up her stuff and telling her to find another place to live. She doesn't sound like she has the type of mental illness where she can't take care of her day-to-day living or be semi-responsible (at least from your description in your original post). It's time for tough love; some kids don't learn from being talked to or yelled at -- it just goes in one ear and out the other, because the talking to or yelling at doesn't actually hurt them. They can tune you out.

Try looking around online for something called "Love and Logic." It's a parenting philosophy that I think could really help you out with this daughter. It has to do with logical consequences. I use it at school, and it REALLY works.

 

[kbarrett]

I second FunnyFarmer on taking the ferret to a shelter or rehoming it. If you end up putting your foot down and your daughter leaves you won't end up with an unwanted animal. The next place she leaves it unattended may not be as caring as you.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this !!!

It sounds like wanting help from you is akin to doing things for her.
I have family with the same sorts of issues and as a rule I only help those that help themselves.

 

[horsejody]

A healthy, well behaved ferret should be easy to re-home. As for the daughter, tough love is in order. You have to let her hit bottom. As parents to adult children, it is not our responsibility to stop them from falling or give them a soft place to land when they do fall. It is our responsibility to kick them in the butt and make them get back up. She is young, but too young to be responsible for herself.

 

[BeardedChick]

It's in the ferret's best interest to be in a home where he is well cared for and loved. I vote to rehome him, too. She is not ready to take on the responsibility of animals if she up and disappears for days at a time.

What a rotten situation for her to put you in!

 

[dixiechick]

I'm so sorry for you. First, you did nothing to create this mess....your daughter is grown and makes her own decisions...she also needs to feel the consequences of those decisions. She can't use you and your family as a dumping ground.

Irregardless of her mental illness, she must learn to function appropriately in society. This is one of those little life lessons. You must treat her like you would a stranger....kind but firm. Protect yourself and your family. If a 9 year old can see and accept what the expectations are, then a grown woman should. Sounds reasonable to me.

I certainly would not "enable" her at all. I know from personal experience that it's so much better to be firm now....than to stand over a casket later.

 

[jbowyer01]

Ferngully I am so sorry to hear about your situation and you are allowed to rant and scream and cry. Thats what all of us are here for. I would rehome the ferret, I am sure there is someone that would give it a loving home. I would pack up the daughters things and when she arrives home be ready to explain to her that in no uncertain terms is she allowed to come back until she gets counseling and starts getting her life straight. Unfortunately sometimes tough love is the only answer. Good Luck and I hope all works out for the best.

 

[seismic wonder2]

Take the ferret to the SPCA, It's not YOUR ferret, not YOUR problem. The kid abandoned it, abandoned animals go to the pound.
Put all her crap in garbage bags in the back yard.

 

[Ferngully]

Thank you for all the support, in our family it is just us, and my father. No one else left.
Yes, I definitely think that the poor ferret needs to be rehomed. I feel badly for the animal to get such an owner. I wanted to give her the chance to get a home for it herself, or it would have been gone 2 days ago. But she hasn't shown up. Seems sweet natured, but I know nothing of this animals history or health or shot records. I went out this a.m. for some supplies for it. I will not let an animal suffer or be negleced under my roof. Not only that but how would it look on me to put up an add, have someone come look at the animal see the conditions she left it in. I don't want to be reported for neglect thats for sure.
As far as her mental illness goes (it is behavioral in nature) she has been in treatment since 4 is able to function very well in society if she so chooses and have a full life.
Tough love it will be definitely be when she comes around again. I figure she may show up sometime today for her party clothes as she has a party to attend (like that isn't what she has been doing for days). She will be told she and the ferret need a new home.
She even makes all the dogs in the house uneasy and stressed when she is here. UGH...

 

[Hackles]

Give the Ferret to a pet shop, they will be happy to take it off you and care for it properly until it get's a new home,(Trust me they are a mess to take care of,).

Kick your daughter out, If you keep intervening (Putting all the responsibility on you) She will never learn to be responsible for herself,Let her go out and party,do all that she want's, But do not Send any money her way,and do not give her a place to stay, Eventually she will be forced to settle down,and start making some responsible choice's. because when the party's over she's out on her butt.with no Shelter or food.

 

[skirbo]

Quote:
Over the years, I have learned to *always* listen to my dogs.

Sarah