*sigh* I'm loosing my touch. (Warning: Hi-jacked by Em)

[Spookwriter]

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

I was tired last night and busy so far today. But I will try to be
back this evening. So much to say...

Who was watching the kids? Heads are gonna roll for this!!!

Spook...who isn't a happy spook over this.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Spook, that's my line. I decide when heads will roll.

 

[Spookwriter]

Tani, please copy this complete application and have any
prospective date fill it out completely.
Repost it, and the Council will discuss it. When we have time.

Spook
______________________________________


Application to Date Our Buckethead

NAME____________________
DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA______________
SOCIAL SECURITY#________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a car? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH THE BUCKETHEAD' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend __________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? ____________
pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C. A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?____________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND WILL BE THROWN IN THE QUEENS MOAT

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature

_______________________________________________________________
Mother's Signature & Father's Signature
_______________________________________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

 

[onedoodle3]

Tani, please copy this complete application and have any
prospective date fill it out completely.
Repost it, and the Council will discuss it. When we have time.

Spook
______________________________________


Application to Date Our Buckethead

NAME____________________
DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA______________
SOCIAL SECURITY#________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a car? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH THE BUCKETHEAD' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend __________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? ____________
pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C. A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?____________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND WILL BE THROWN IN THE QUEENS MOAT

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature

_______________________________________________________________
Mother's Signature & Father's Signature
_______________________________________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

But seriously...can I borrow this when my daughter starts dating?

 

[chickened]

There is an easier way... offer your daughters date a drink, after he drinks it you say "I cannot let you drive so you guys just stay home with me and watch TV". He probably won't ask to date her again.

 

[sourland]

If he takes the drink, he's dead.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Yup. That drink will have poison!

 

[Bunnylady]

If he takes the drink, he's dead.

My thought is, if he just accepts the drink, he's toast. He wouldn't have to drink it!

 

[Yessur Ebob]

Haha I love the application. Well done, Spook.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

I'm still waiting on Tani to bring this young Sparkly before the counsel. Well Tani? It's not good manners to keep the Queen waiting.