Sitting with a cup of coffee. (coffee lovers)

[perchie.girl]

Quote:
Yep... I am almost sixty years old and still feel like a child around her... seeking approval.

I am for the most part ok with her Opinion and not being able to change it. its when I offer to do stuff for her and she gives me a disgusted look and says no. That's when the knife turns.

Its when she tells people Dean is the only child in this family that went to college... Its like my college years (Yep I went in my twenties) back then and later didn't happen.

deb

 

[Alaskan]

I actually had that too..... So I sent the person (my ex-aunt of all people...but she was/is VOCAL) a fax of my degree.

Amazing that she didn't then start up with it being a fake.

 

[3goodeggs]

She has to be in control. It took me 45 years to realize some people can not be pleased, and to just walk away.
It is really hard, and in your case, impossible to walk away, but don't let her eat you up. Read up on narcissists and every time she does it, realize it is her problem and it's pathetic.

Don't let your son swallow what she is saying either. Social anxiety can be made worse when someone at home is undermining his self esteem.

 

[Alaskan]

And I should mention... Hearing that from my aunt is NOTHING like hearing it from close family.

 

[perchie.girl]

I actually had that too..... So I sent the person (my ex-aunt of all people...but she was/is VOCAL) a fax of my degree.

Amazing that she didn't then start up with it being a fake.

LOL... love it. What I dont understand is why its important to people like that unless its a form of jealousy.

She has to be in control. It took me 45 years to realize some people can not be pleased, and to just walk away.
It is really hard, and in your case, impossible to walk away, but don't let her eat you up. Read up on narcissists and every time she does it, realize it is her problem and it's pathetic.

Don't let your son swallow what she is saying either. Social anxiety can be made worse when someone at home is undermining his self esteem.

Yep Grandma is a Control freak. She was an efficiency expert for the Government... One of the first women allowed to work in Engineering during World War 2. When I was seeing a psychologist for another issue we discussed her to some extent.

I have finally talked my son into seeing a psychologist... He is much stronger than I am thank goodness...

And I should mention... Hearing that from my aunt is NOTHING like hearing it from close family.

MOM is the bomb... very supportive in her manipulating way. But I am ON to her... LOL.

She throws me under the buss occasionally though. But when its time I told her shes moving in with ME and MY home... I will even build her a granny flat. just for her and her little floor crapping dog...

Love the dog not her fault... but she is not invited into my house.

deb

 

[3goodeggs]

I hope I did not jump on that too hard with both feet. I am just to the point in my life where I just do not understand what people are getting out of being mean.
It does not make them better. Bigger or badder, they are just making themselves look small and nasty.
Whatever happened to, 'if you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all"?
If there is anyone who should love you for no reason, it is your parents and grandparents.
You should not have to be better or stronger or perfect. You are theirs and they should love you just for that.

So there.
And you all are my cyber family. I will stick up for you -and I do get annoyed when someone is unfair. We can walk away from cyber bullies we can move to other threads, but when you have altered your life to care for someone who can only thank you between gritted teeth.NOPE! Been there done that, never again.


I do the momma bear thing. It isn't pretty.

 

[pollitos2013]

Awwww - i love how everyone is so supportive on this thread - i really respect and admire all of you with your different backgrounds and talents and willingness to share!

Thanks Ded for the quacking research! I think y'all are the real deal (perchie girl and alaskan) and me and goodeggs will beat up any nay-sayers!

We had a hard frost last night - down to 22 - all my plants but two are in the house waiting to be planted. I asked the neighbor (farmer) where I was picking up hay for my horses how to protect my baby apple that is already in the ground - he said, with a straight face, don't you have an electric blanket and a long extension cord?

They love to tease me cause I'm old but very green to the world of farms, livestock, etc.

:cd

 

[Alaskan]

Was I supposed to introduce myself too?

I moved some growing up.... but I switched schools lots more than I switched houses....

I grew up with my parents thinking that kids could do stuff without being watched all of the time. We were allowed to wander where ever we wanted but we had to be respectful and obedient.

My dad's parents lived on a ranch out in the Texas Hill Country, and we visited every summer and lots of times during the year when we lived in Texas. My favorite memories are when I got to stay at their place my myself. My mom firmly believed in not having kids underfoot.... so we would be shipped off to stay for a few weeks with one grandparent and then the other in the summer time. My dad thought that kids should be underfoot as much as possible..... so he didn't want any of us to go to school until first grade. I don't remember what my parents did with my older sister... but with me they compromised and I had to go to kindergarten I think 3 days a week, half days. I also don't know what my parents did with my my younger sister. So yep, I had an older and a younger sister.

My dad's mom, I called her Oma, she loved the ranch, it was where she grew up, and where her dad grew up, etc. she loved chickens and her great big garden.... and I got my love of chickens from her.

I am married.... still married.... but not happily married

I kinda wish I could hit the "do over" button.

I have 5 kids, all boys, ages 6 to 16, and I am surprised that you don't hear on the news about parents killing their teenagers....... you hear these terribly tragic stories about parents killing their babies... which I don't understand... but I guess only because my kids were not horrid babies.... the teenage years however.... WOW ..... frustration! I see it as a perpetual heart stress test.

However, luckily, praise the lord, I am not yet a grandparent (I have one friend who's son impregnated two girls in the same summer...).... I kind of wish I could string the older ones from a flag pole until they hit 25.

How someone is supposed to raise boys in this day and age... and manage to get them to be productive... blows my mind.

OK, I am clearly not in a good mood today.....

 

[3goodeggs]

Poor, poor Alaskan

I understand. I only had one boy and between the ages of 8-12, his brains melted and ran out his ears, but they firmed up again. It gets better.


Psst. I think it is testosterone. Hopefully they get used to it and learn to navigate it's choppy waters.

(And they give us a difficult time for one or two days a month.

)

 

[Chicken Ladies]

I agree, I love it although it's tough at times only having kiddos to interest with weeks at a time lol. I had to work FT with my first child and with being stay at home with other 3 I am blessed to be able to do it now. I think I appreciate it that much more having been on both sides. I have friends though that love their kiddos but tell me they wouldn't be able to handle stay at home mom. I can understand it's not for everyone hahahha I know my DH wouldn't be able to do it!

I'm sure my family sometimes worries about me and military life, especially when he's deployed and I'm alone way out here... But I'll figure it out! I got my chickens to talk about it with to figure out my issues lol!!!

I remember talking people's ears off when I was around some one over two feet tall.