So many debates all the time

[Weeg]

Passions can certainly run deep can't they? My thing is horses, and let me tell you, there is a never ending supply of heated debates there! Whew! Blanketing vs Not blanketing, feeding grain vs not feeding grain, bits vs no bits.

Ditto! Same here! Seen these topics and many others. Horse people have lots of opinions. I'm a blankets, no grain, and no bit person, but I don't go after others because they disagree. Some people think that their way is the only good way. Frustrating.
Anyway, just another example.

 

[sdm111]

Wow, that’s terrible she kept on arguing with you, that would be so annoying. Sorry you had to go through that, I agree, I don’t understand why people feel the need to belittle others. You’re right, I don’t owe them my time, I just need to believe that more. I guess I should have mentioned though, that the person wasn’t actually a person on Backyard Chickens although I have definitely had people be rude to me on here. But it was on a Facebook group about rabbits. Sorry I didn’t mention that earlier! Thank you so much for taking the time to post, I really appreciate it!!

That explains alot. Facebook is disgusting the worst in people all the time. I dont and will never be on there

 

[Weeg]

That explains alot. Facebook is disgusting the worst in people all the time. I dont and will never be on there

Yes, there aren't any mods and definitely not as many rules. FB is definitely more aggressive. Thats why I prefer BYC!

 

[MistyandLuna]

Hmm, I didn't know that you could breed rabbits for conformation. Silly me, I just thought rabbit x rabbit = rabbit!! You learn something new every day.

Passions can certainly run deep can't they? My thing is horses, and let me tell you, there is a never ending supply of heated debates there! Whew! Blanketing vs Not blanketing, feeding grain vs not feeding grain, bits vs no bits.

Pretty much any thing that you do, someone else will absolutely hate and are completely appalled that you do it--and they will come up with all kinds of articles, books and media backing their claim!

It certainly can be overwhelming!

@MistyandLuna If you feel the need to vent, by all means come here and vent! As you can see, we can all commiserate together LOL!

Oh yeah, there definitely is a lot of debates with horses. I’m afraid to even post anything with horses. Sometimes I just have a simple question and people come after me. But it’s nice there is a lot of people on here who are sympathetic!

 

[MistyandLuna]

I kind of feel a bit embarrassed now for posting about this lol I feel like I’ve drawn too much attention to myself. I know I was definitely upset when I posted it, but I’m better now, all of your sweet words have definitely helped me.

 

[Peaches Lee]

Ditto! Same here! Seen these topics and many others. Horse people have lots of opinions. I'm a blankets, no grain, and no bit person, but I don't go after others because they disagree. Some people think that their way is the only good way. Frustrating.
Anyway, just another example.

True!

 

[TheOddOneOut]

I can’t handle it anymore. I’m too fragile for this world. I break down when I see these debates. The newest debate is about breeding rabbits for good type and conformation. And someone is basically getting mad at me for breeding for pets. I can’t stand it anymore. Do they want me to say, “okay you win.” All the time. This is why I have this mentality, that it just can’t go right or go well with me or whatever because it’s me. People reaffirm these things for me, they make me believe that I am inferior and not important. It’s true, anytime a person sees a time to step on or squash someone, they will. No one will stand up for you. I can’t stand up for myself, who will for me? I feel so low. Why can’t people be kinder, more empathetic? I am so so low. Do people realize that if they are mean and rude, it may be the last straw for someone and they might commit suicide? Why can’t people understand, have more compassion and think more about what they say? Please anyone who answers this, please be kind, I’m so exhausted and dreary

My advice is grow thicker skin.
I don’t mean that in any rude way.
Just ignore any truly rude person. If someone snapping at you from their mother’s basement on the internet is enough to make you that upset, just learn to ignore them.
Keep your head up.
Fake it til you make it. Stay strong, even if you don’t feel like you are. One day you’ll look back and realize how strong you really are.
They don’t matter, so thicken that skin! Ignore them!

 

[FloorCandy]

A little background on me, I grew up in the dog show world. My grandmother bred, raised and showed Siberian huskies since before I was born. I lived half my life drowning in show person rhetoric. I thought I was truly right and in my mind when I saw huskies from bad lines with so called big ears and possum masks etc, I probably thought some really negative things. But I would never say anything to the owners.

When my husband and I had been living together for a couple years, before we were married, we decided to get a dog. Huskies and athletic dogs were not my cup of tea, I spent many long nights with my family, scouring my grandmothers sketchy neighborhood for a lost husky or two that had cleared a 6 foot fence and taken off after a cat or car or whatever. I wanted a bulldog. I started looking and I found a beautiful puppy from show lines.

Fast forward, my dog was relatively healthy, but there were some common issues caused by conformation breeding. He bordered on needing his tail removed because his tail pocket was so tight. His legs were pretty straight, but not straight enough and he had shoulder arthritis start at 3 years old. What eventually did him in were his teeth. I read and learned more and more about bulldog issues throughout his 11 years, and I was shocked to learn that people were purposely breeding for traits that are known to cause issues, and the breeders will often choose the best looking and hope for the best, and if the dog shows early signs of illness, they rehome it as retired or have it put down. Groomers cover up alopecia spots for shows and judges pretend not to notice.

I was a member of many bulldog groups online, I saw rescues take in dogs from bybs and akc breeders alike. We had 3 older dogs, and after 2 passed and we moved to a new house, I needed a bulldog again. I adopted a mix off of CL or something like that. He was supposed to be very small, at like 4-5 months he weighed 11 ish pounds. Since I’m getting older I didn’t want to have to carry a 65 pound dog up and down the steps in his old age. When he went to a vet a few days later, turns out he was far younger, now we have a 55 lb bulldog probably sharpei mix lol.

So moving on I had my heart set on a frenchie. I put a lot of time and work into finding a dog that checked all my boxes. Straight legs and teeth, health tested parents with documentation. Can lift and rotate the tail, Strong pasterns etc, and a reasonable (for the breed) price. I ended up with 2. I know I’m biased, but my frenchies are beautiful. They can run and play like normal dogs, they spend all day with me in the yard in the summer heat and as long as they can dip in a baby pool, have no troubles.

Frenchies are popular, I often see “well bred” ones at pet stores and parks. A girl in my daughters class got one about the same time as us, and they would bring it to pickup/drop off for the first few weeks, then stopped. One day while the kids played in the playground after school, the little girl came over and was petting my boy and she said they can’t let their dog around strangers because it bites! That’s a serious fault in my book when you have a house full of kids, the dog was like 12 weeks old and already fear biting. Just a few weeks ago I saw the parents at petsmart picking up the frenchy from the groomer, it was wearing a basket muzzle and limping on its front shoulder. They clearly didn’t recognize me from 2 years prior, and I see them openly pointing, sneering, and whispering at my dog. They’re loudly laughing about how tall he is, and how the tail nub breaks the top line when he lifts it to wag. Their dog starts reverse sneezing from the non existent snout and literally falls over from the weak shoulder.

When I tell people I plan to breed my frenchies so I can offer healthy companions to others, I often get a lot of akc breeder rhetoric back. You shouldn’t breed dogs that don’t meet the breed standard, do you show them? Are they from a reputable breeder? Etc. you know the akc allows the breed clubs to set standards, like Merle and/or blue are major faults in frenchies, and a few years ago the breed club decided they will punish judges that award a healthy Merle over an unhealthy allowed color. Other breeds have adjusted the standards to allow Merle, like Pomeranians, the KC in England allows blue (I believe they call it mouse or something else cute?) in frenchies, but breeders here don’t want their preferred colors to be out of style so they rally against it. I wanted to do agility, and when I called a local group to ask about classes they told me the judges may or may not allow my Merle male to compete unneutered. That they may insist he’s mixed despite papers and there’s nothing I can do about it, so I should focus on my brindle female. She gets car sick so I wanted to do it with the male.

This is long and I apologize. I just want to share that it’s all species. There are people out there that feel so insecure inside, that they have to find external things to find fault in others. I don’t know why telling someone their pet is ugly or should have never been born makes people somehow feel better about themselves, I guess it’s how they exhibit control when they feel like they are lost. I guess if I paid $5000 for a puppy that viciously bites my kids, I might feel like I have to justify it with other reasons, but you can try to find good in the bad, instead of bad in the good of others. It makes me ill to think about an animal being culled because it isn’t pretty enough, and I hope those people at least eat the rabbits, but I doubt most show breeders do. There are dog breeders out there who euthanize white GSDs and Piebald huskies so people won’t know their line threw a fault, these dogs would probably make good pets and should be allowed to live, and if you are unwilling to do right by “unattractive” offspring, you shouldn’t breed at all imo.

 

[Lemon-Drop]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Honestly, reading through the first post made me tear up.

I know it's really, really, really hard, but just do your best to ignore people who are rude.

I'm still working on that. It's really hard for me not to take things personally. And if people are hurting me, it makes me hurt myself. If people say I should die, I seriously consider it.

I personally have a lot of trouble putting what I'm feeling into words, so hopefully this doesn't sound weird.

I'm praying for peace of mind for you, and, I don't know what your take on religion is, but Jesus cares about you.

I know I'm just another person behind a screen, but I care about you.

Try your best not to take peoples rude comments seriously, or think about them too much (if at all) It's so hard to understand what people mean these days. If I read something hurtful, I try and ask myself: Are they purposefully being hurtful, or did they say something that came out wrong, or am I not understanding what they meant?

Not sure if this is helpful, but stay strong! You got this!

 

[MistyandLuna]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Honestly, reading through the first post made me tear up.

I know it's really, really, really hard, but just do your best to ignore people who are rude.

I'm still working on that. It's really hard for me not to take things personally. And if people are hurting me, it makes me hurt myself. If people say I should die, I seriously consider it.

I personally have a lot of trouble putting what I'm feeling into words, so hopefully this doesn't sound weird.

I'm praying for peace of mind for you, and, I don't know what your take on religion is, but Jesus cares about you.

I know I'm just another person behind a screen, but I care about you.

Try your best not to take peoples rude comments seriously, or think about them too much (if at all) It's so hard to understand what people mean these days. If I read something hurtful, I try and ask myself: Are they purposefully being hurtful, or did they say something that came out wrong, or am I not understanding what they meant?

Not sure if this is helpful, but stay strong! You got this!

Aww thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it. It’s nice to have someone else who feels the same way. I am the same way about considering it when someone tells me to die or just tells me something hurtful. It’s something I’ve been trying to work on, although at times I don’t believe I deserve to help myself, and don’t deserve happiness, but others do, even if they crush me. But I know it’s a struggle and it’s nice to know im not alone. I hope that you never consider it when someone tells you to die. People over the Internet can be terrible. You are definitely worth living and you seem like an empathetic person, the world needs more empathy. Thank you for your sweet words.