So....talk about.....CANCER SUPPORT THREAD !!

[jjthink]

I know a lot of you guys on FB and they already know...but some of my BYC friends might not know that my husband of 38 years has passed away. I was with him & watched him take his last breath. I hope he's in a wonderful place now with no pain and not attached to any tubes, wires, machines and is FREE. I miss him every day, some days are really bad, but I slog on. He was only 67. Now I'm on my own.

Ginny, I am so, so very sorry

There are no (helpful) words

I am thinking of you. Please stay in touch. (we can FB if you want)
Hugs, Judy

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Luna, I am so sorry for your loss. Through your words, I could see that Paul was a wonderful man. You are never alone, Sis! JJ, 3, Red, Veri, ALL of us are still here for you. Paul is over there keeping Burt/Deerman company for awhile. You've still got things here to finish and then you can go join him, until then, they'll be just fine watching from above.

I'm here my friend.

 

[wsmith]

Monday afternoon Beth decided that she needed to get out of bed. She wanted to go outside. She INSISTED that she go outside. She has no idea how difficult that is for us, as she can't stand on her own, and can barely sit upright, but we love her and do what we can.

Now for a vent session.......

I have to work. Work provides income, and insurance. In order to work I MUST have SOME sleep.....

Beth is in a hospital bed in the front room, and I sleep on the couch next to her. We have been doing this now for nearly 4 months.

Here is the basic dialog and events from last night, about 12:00 AM to 3:00 AM..... Please also understand that it is very difficult to understand her when she talks at this point. Also, this is just a vent because I am extremely tired right now.......

midnight: Beth- Wendell!
Me: rolling off the couch and crawling to her side: What dear?
Beth- I'm thirsty.

Note: Beth cannot drink from a glass or cup anymore, and drinking through a straw is very difficult. We got an empty (new) sauce squeeze bottle and fill it with water and use that for her to drink out of. Her balance is also WAY off, and can't keep her head upright; it always goes to her right now.

Me- OK. I get her some water, and make sure it doesn't run out of her mouth and she swallows it.
Me- is that enough?
Beth- nods yes.
Me- OK, I'm getting back into bed now.

20 minutes later....... I hear her trying to get out of bed....
Me- Sweatheart what are you doing?
Beth- I want to go home.
Me- You can go home whenever you want to..... But. I need you to stay in bed. Then I help her get her legs back onto the bed and get her comfortable. I also lift her back up towards the top of the bed because she is always scooting herself down towards the bottom of the bed, in spite of the knee section being raised up.
Me- Are you OK now?
Beth- Nods yes.
Me- OK, I'm going back to bed now, I need to sleep. (I have to get up at 5:00 AM)

about 20 minutes later.....
Beth- HELP!
Me- quickly getting to her side Whats the matter?
Beth- Can't breathe!
Me- Lets put your cannula back on. Breathe through you nose. deep breaths.....We finally get her O2 levels back up in the 80's range, and I go back to bed.

This repeats itself 3 more times with little variation..........

Finally, at about 3 AM, I find her cannula wrapped around her right hand. She says she can't breathe. I get it back on, and she asks for meds, which I give her, and we get the meds washed down. She is still breathing through her mouth and her blood O2 levels arent' coming up out of the 50's range, so I put the O2 line in her mouth, and the levels slowly come up. She starts to get out of bed again........ I am now a little frustrated...... I raise my voice a little and tell her that she MUST stay in bed, and she MUST leave the cannula in place. I tell her to stay put, and don't mess with things. She says ok and goes to sleep.

My alarm goes off at 5 AM. I wake up our 22 yo daughter and she takes my place on the couch so I can get ready and go to work.

I am tired. and yes, I am complaining.

 

[3goodeggs]

And... Dear sir, you GET TOO!
You get to go punch a ..something, as long as it doesn't yelp when you do.
You are going through what most people do not have to. You are Stronger than I would be.

She is in delirium and wants to go home, because home is familiar...she just does not want what is now. None of us want that for her or for you. I wish I had a rewind button for you all.

If you need to vent- rant- rage... we understand and we are here for you.
I would hate the situation, and resent the cancer, and I would need to explode into a thousand pieces. And I would need someone to help put me back together because tomorrow is another day and it all has to go on all over again.

Bless you and your family. They are a lovely family.

 

[jjthink]

As usual 3ge (feel like I should know your name by now!), well said.

ws, I'm so glad you posted the photo, of a clearly loving family. Are all of those young people your kiddos?

These kinds of difficult - impossible - times are more draining than anything and it's completely understandable that you are frustrated and weary. You can feel completely welcome to vent here.

I have a little bit of a different situation, with 2 ailing parents and an ailing brother all in the same house, with only me 'on the case', a distance away and working full time and trying to juggle it all. Sometimes there is simply no oxygen in the room. It gets so dark. And long. We love them with all we have but we don't want to see them suffer. Suffering is agonizing and haunting. Minutes seem like years. I mention this situation only to convey that I hear you.

My thoughts are with you and I hope fervently you can get some sleep, so crucial to persevering..... .

 

[wsmith]

As usual 3ge (feel like I should know your name by now!), well said.

ws, I'm so glad you posted the photo, of a clearly loving family. Are all of those young people your kiddos?

These kinds of difficult - impossible - times are more draining than anything and it's completely understandable that you are frustrated and weary. You can feel completely welcome to vent here.

I have a little bit of a different situation, with 2 ailing parents and an ailing brother all in the same house, with only me 'on the case', a distance away and working full time and trying to juggle it all. Sometimes there is simply no oxygen in the room. It gets so dark. And long. We love them with all we have but we don't want to see them suffer. Suffering is agonizing and haunting. Minutes seem like years. I mention this situation only to convey that I hear you.

My thoughts are with you and I hope fervently you can get some sleep, so crucial to persevering.....  .

Yes. those are our 4 kids. Daivd is 27, Eric is 26, Heather is 22, and Hannah is 18.

thanks for the support.

 

[jjthink]

Yes. those are our 4 kids. Daivd is 27, Eric is 26, Heather is 22, and Hannah is 18.

thanks for the support.

Beautiful kids, surrounding their mom

(and yw)

 

[wsmith]

And now she has kennedy ulcers....

 

[3goodeggs]

She must be in so much pain. I am praying for her to have comfort.
I will never understand why good people have to suffer,
She has been blessed with her family.
I just wish she did not have to be in such pain.
I am so sorry.

 

[wsmith]

She has some great pain meds, and didn't know she had them. So far so good.