Sometimes; just when I think I have my son figured out...

[dianaross77]

It can be really tough have a child that's "different." Our 9 yo son was just diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. We've never really had any trouble with him but his last school sure did. Let me assure you, teachers talk. Once your kid gets a label, there is precious little anyone can do about it. I struggled with it myself. The best thing that happened to me was when I left traditional school at 16 and enrolled in an alternative high school. I had a lot of classmates with ADHD. There was less structure than regular school. There were many times I'd see one of the ADHD kids wandering the halls for a few minutes. The most important thing for kids with low self esteem or any kid for that matter is to catch them doing something right. Every chance you get. I wonder, since he is so compassionate and caring, if volunteering somewhere would help him. The humane societies here will let kids volunteer, there might be a children's charity that would appreciate a story-reader, or a visitor with legos to the hospital for a kid who doesn't have anyone might give him a sense of purpose. Somewhere where he can be the mentor and someone to look up to.

 

[spell]

have you heard of expeditionary learning? http://elschools.org/
my ds goes to a charter school that uses an expeditionary learning style. (our charter school is free btw) anyway, we have a lot of kids that are labeled one way or another and their parents swear that exp. learning has saved them.
kids with asperger's, sensory integration issues, all sorts of things...we also use a program called "brain gym". which some people are true believers in. http://www.braingym.org/
IEPs are taken vary seriously in our school. i am so sorry you and your son are suffering through this mess. that is not what learning is supposed to be about. good luck to you

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Since you are not eagerly homeschooling, I will offer some alternative ideas for you to explore.
Charter schools should NOT cost money (besides perhaps transportation). They are privately owned and run PUBLIC schools. There are also some online charter schools.

Also, since the public school repeatedly FAILED to follow the 504 and IEP, you might consider DEMANDING that they pay to place him in a private or different public school that WILL accommodate his needs. Your first job is probably to locate the right school. One that seems to have the right type of programs and organization to FOLLOW THROUGH on their legal requirements. If it were me, I would probably be calling my state's department of education and asking for their assistance in getting your son the education to which he is entitled. Because of his special needs, even transportation costs, which might not be available if he were not special needs might be covered. It is worth exploring the options that are actually available to you, and as I said, I would not start at your local school, or even the district, but would move up the chain, if they say "talk to your local school," reiterate that they have failed to follow through on providing the services that they are legally obligated to provide.

 

[Momagain1]

Thanks!
I'll check into schools around here...

I do know of one they send "special needs and discipline problem students to..its called "Salt Creek Academy" and
let me tell you.I know one of the kids that goes there; she goes right into ppls homes (she lives right by me) and has
in the past; thrown their guinea pig up in the air and killed it...broke necks on birds that she somehow catches etc..

she has severe anger management/behavioral issues...i mean SEVERE...

I'd rather keep homeschooling than put J in a situation that has such severely disturbed children there..
the others are the ones that were thrown out after repeated offenses for like bringing weapons to school etc...

granted; it wasnt guns; but like boy scout knives etc...but still...and others yet still who have beat the crud out of
others and they are there too..
it just doesnt seem like a good school to send my child to..but yet...it was an option last yr for the school to threaten
me with...
"If this continues; salt creek may be something to consider"....

but I KNOW for a fact they wont be willing to pay for a schooling, tutor etc..they say he's not bad enough to warrant
not going to their public school...

BUT I will look into it...
today was NOT a good day w/schooling...
tomorrow..will be better...

 

[zippitydooda]

I have to say it never ceases to amaze me that there are people in the public schools being paid to teach children, and they HATE children. Um....WHY are you a teacher? Why don't you go flip burgers or something? There was absolutely no excuse for that teacher talking to a child that way. She should have been fired.

I do have one comment (not intended to be mean, just a different perspective) about self esteem. It is something that is not taught, is not given, earned or handed to a person. One achieves a higher level of self esteem by being successful in something. YOU can not do a thing to improve the way he sees himself. You CAN create situations where he can be successful though.

Also, just another observation: since you don't really want to be homeschooling, do you suppose your son is picking up on those vibes? I know my kids can tell when I'm in a negative place, and they tend to act like brats at that point. Maybe if he realizes that you value the time you get to spend with him, even if it was "teaching", he would feel better about his education.

I'm sorry you are struggling with all these worries.... give it time and it will get better. In the meantime, how about a hug from a fellow chicken person?

 

[Momagain1]

thanks for replying...

I do have to say; I know i've griped a lot over the last few days about being frustrated...

I like teaching on the good days...its the bad days that are seemingly outweighing right now..
I really would rather not..but thats why we get curriculum that is almost self taught...but I'm always there...to help and enhance the learning..

but we are looking into him suffering from Aspergers; high functioning autism..but we may not have answers for months..

I was on my way to post this to my post:

I just found out; that AGAIN for the third yr in a row; our school system is on academic watch...
and I dont know if I told you all before; but our school was given a grant to combat bullying last yr..

 

[WriterofWords]

You need to take care of that school, I can't even imagine one of our teachers saying something like that or not following that IEP to the letter. I may teach in my district but I homeschooled my son for many years because of difficulties like that. Never ever ever let a school get away with not following your plan for your child. All teachers should be in the IEP, not just some, the school has to provide their class a sub so they can attend. As for the teacher punishment, it's hard to say she wasn't punished, the school cannot tell you anything that might have been done. Some of our punishments cannot be seen by parents, or the public, they are on our record, we could be on probation, but it is against the law to tell anyone any disciplinary actions taken. A person like that doesn't belong in the classroom.

 

[Momagain1]

as well as; tonight was the school board mtg;

30% of the support staff was to be cut...
as well as band/music/art and some library...

really? CUT THE STUPID SPORTS...you need the library...ugh....

I'll know in the next day or so what exactly was cut...

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

You mentioned he is very caring. Have you thought about letting him volunteer somewhere for an hour or so each week? Maybe at a hospital coloring with other (possibly younger) children who are ill, or maybe a soup kitchen or something along those lines? Even a shelter if he likes animals. They always have positions where he can help play or walk dogs, feed and water the dogs, etc. Lots of praise would come from doing any of these things and many times the people organizing the volunteer activities are more than happy to work with special needs children who want to volunteer.

Another thought is maybe letting him join a 4-H club. We have two special needs children in our club and about 20 members total. Everyone is VERY understanding and these two kids have really come to shine in 4-H. THey have made a lot of friends and are constantly praised for doing well with whatever their project may be. They have 4-H clubs for everything. We even have a club in our county that does hiking! He may be able to find something in 4-H that he is really good at.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
It does not sounds like he needs a school that specialized in students with discipline problems. He would most likely benefit best from a school that specializes in teaching autistic kids, or even one that specializes more specifically in asperger's. Or possibly schools for kids who are underachievers, but definitely have the ability. The school you find does not have to be an alternate public school--it can be, but it does not have to be. Yes, your first fight would be to document that this is the school your son NEEDS to attend. They've shot themselves in the foot by NOT following through on the 504 and IEP. Your argument is that since they have DEMONSTRATED an inability to teach your son and follow through on these LEGALLY BINDING plans, that they MUST pay the cost of his education at a school that WILL teach him.