Sometimes things get too much - I want to resign!

[bluesub]

Does the social worker have any suggestions?

 

[oesdog]

No - Though I did suggest she take him for a night !

Sadly she declined but I felt it would have been a good learning tool - she didn;t take us up on the offer?

Oesdog

 

[ChickInDelight]

Hang in there. Everything always works out in time.

I greatly enjoyed the read, in part, because the English is so NOT American.

Have you ever tried documenting your journey in a way that might be marketable? Perhaps just getting your story on a wider channel might open up alternatives for your kids to get out more and maybe even gain independance. You have tried hiding the aggression, perhaps broadcast your story instead?

Usually, my advice for therapy centers around "More Chickens". That won't work for you.

 

[bluesub]

What gives Danny joy? He must be so frustrated trying to communicate with you.

 

[TinyChickenLady]

I have worked with children who share some of the same disadvantages that Danny does. Some were severly violent, some were not. I understand the workers wariness of working with someone at such a disadvantage but there has to be someone who can just simply give you a hand. In my town, we have a company who works with disadvantaged children, their diagnosis range from autism to ADD to any behavioral problem that can be documented. They also work with and house girls with behavioral issues.
What you first need to do is document what he does on a daily basis. The good, the bad, the trivial....
Keep him on a constant schedule, which you may have already figured out....
And research some different companies that you like that would be of assistance to you. Even if they aren't in your area, still talk to them. They can more than likely refer you to a company closer to you.
It sounds like you have a fairly good handle on things but you could always use extra help even if it's just a couple hours a week. They can teach you tools to use with him and different methods of getting across to him and hopefully, in time, he won't be aggressive or he'll have learned ways to deal with his aggression so that he doesn't lash out at you.

 

[Elite Silkies]

 

[oesdog]

Quote:
Thank you for your post - you are very nice and care a lot.

We are not young new parents and have done much of the things you mention so it's not that simple. Danny will always be aggressive as it is part of his disability. Logging that only makes him unfit for most of the centres here as they wont take him. So it is not helpful in a lot of ways. As I mentioned he is 24yrs old so we have near a quarter of a century experience of care for Danny. - Far too much experiece and we have tired and tested many things. There simply is not the funding here for the care he needs or the availability. We are not in America - there are no "companies" here just the NHS!

Oesdog

 

[MuckyPuppy]

All I can do is give you a

 

[Chic-n-farmer]

I wish I had advice, but all I can offer is prayers and hugs.

 

[satay]

Quote:
Thank you for your post - you are very nice and care a lot.

We are not young new parents and have done much of the things you mention so it's not that simple. Danny will always be aggressive as it is part of his disability. Logging that only makes him unfit for most of the centres here as they wont take him. So it is not helpful in a lot of ways. As I mentioned he is 24yrs old so we have near a quarter of a century experience of care for Danny. - Far too much experiece and we have tired and tested many things. There simply is not the funding here for the care he needs or the availability. We are not in America - there are no "companies" here just the NHS!

Oesdog

Oh i feel for you and your family. My father and his wife work with adults with cp and i can't tell you the amount of time i have seen my 6 feet 4 " father covered in bite marks and bruisers from one of the clients. I asked him one day how do you have the patience to do that and he said he would rather that than old people...(no offense meant to the older folk) Mind you my nana is 90 and can be quite demanding. I also have a cousin who can be violent and is badly effected by autism. My aunt used to struggle so badly with him but for some reason he liked me and if i went over i would go for a walk to the park with him or go do something with him to give her a break. I was 15 or so and he 24. She said thank god for you as he likes you and will always behave for you. Do you have any one that you son is more taken with and less likely to lash out at that can do something similar to give you a break every now and then. Perhaps you need to work something out with hubby so that you each get a little time for something you like to do just for yourselves a day. Maybe he could watch him while you go sit and watch you chickens for a while. I hope something can change for you in the near future so that Danny can get the care he needs and you can get the help that you have so earned after all the selfless years of taking it all on yourselves.