Sometimes things get too much - I want to resign!

[HorseFeatherz NV]

I wish I could do something for you.

You and your DH are amazing, caring, loving people, don't let each other forget.

 

[oesdog]

Thanks for the thoughts everyone.

Horse riding : Yes it is wonderful for disabled folk to do that. Danny used to do it as part of his theropy programme from school. Now he is in the adult centre, things are very different. I asked about the horse riding for disabled and they don't offer it anymore. You have to organize it yourself and right now there would be a lot of issues. Danny has not been on a horse for years. If it was something they carried on through he would not have been scared of them but now he would not go near one and he would become very aggressive and frightened. He did get riding medels which I treasure but now he would be terrified. As for controlling a beast - Danny can't do that sadly he doesn't have the understanding or physical strength. We are however going to have a sleigh ride round the local stately home grounds near Christmas with a horse pulling it so we will see again how he copes.

As for today. - We had to go to a review of the other twins care. DH and I were mortified when he was asked what he wanted - He replied I want to learn to tie my laces, do up a tie and I need to learn to walk?????? Apparently in all his 24yrs - we never taught him any of these fundamental life skills!!!! UGH!!!!!! Brain injury - arn;y they just darling! DH said when we got home he felt guilty and embarrased that he Never taught his son to tie his laces? - Of course the lad has forgotten - and someone told the boy he swaggered and they didn;t like it so he thinks he needs to learn to walk again??

Better go all you can do is laugh sometimes cause otherwise you would cry. They told us the 20hrs care package for that boy - we were made to think funding was in place for is still NOT SORTED OUT!!!!!!!! So much for care in the community!

Oesdog

 

[ChickInDelight]

Being a horrible parent, I was blessed with great kids. You are obviously wonderful parents trying to provide the best life you can for all your babes. Never feel embarrassed or guilty. Twill benefit no one. Always be rightfully proud!

I never taught mine to tie their laces. Shoes come with velcro in smaller sizes. Once the eldest learned something, she taught her siblings. Since my eldest does not like to be told what to do, I offered little instruction. (Like her ma, she is.)

I am so glad Dan had a time with horses. My time with horses is one of my greatest treasures.

Some day soon, everyone will be relaxed and you will enjoy a family outing. I just know it!

 

[oesdog]

Please understand - we did teach him to tie a lace and he wore a school tie everyday for years!!!!!! It's just his brain doesn't retain the information. He wants to wear a suit to a Christmas dinner do he's been invited to so it's all worrying him a lot right now.
It reminds me of the washing machine - I don't know how many times folk have told him how to put it on. In the end he has BIG green marker pen where he needs to turn the buttons so he doesn't muck up or forget again. It is hard work repeating everything time and again. But thats how it is. Life can be very funny sometimes and very frustrating too.

At the moment I am just really cross that the funding we were told had been secured for his care is now in doubt. It is not fair to keep on doing this. I don't understand it all at times. If the lad was left without anyone to go in and make sure he got up, showered and took his meds. Helped him with his finances and took him shopping. Made sure he had food and electric well he would be lost. He sat for three days last winter without Oil because he didn't know how to order it and didn't tell anyone he needed it.

That is the better of the two boys!!!!!! - We are tired tonight... It all gets very wairing. Here we have to fight and battle for every bit of care and they think throwing money at things is what folk want but it isn't it is GOOD community care services with trained staff who know how to deal with the needs of our kids.

I wonder sometimes if other parents feel - they are being punished by society for failing to produce a "normal" functional tax paying adult?????????

Anyhow I need to go get some sleep. I just had two really bad Nappies to do and two shower sessions with Danny in the last hour so am dun in. DH is very good with Danny.

I just want to make clear and point out to folk though. DH is really ill right now - he had a heart attack and heart surgery and the heart is not doing the best. He is always drained and always in pain because his spine is collapsing and he is on constant morphine for the pain. So please don't think he doesn't do his bit. If anything he does way too much and more than he should!!!!!!!

Oesdog

 

[annie3001]

so sorry your going thru this.