Son keeps threatening suicide

[redhen]

You can call the crisis hotline..they will come out to your house and speak with him and evaluate him. Look in your phone book for it... or better yet..call the police station..i'm sure they will have the crisis hotline #.
Best wishes with everything..

 

[Elite Silkies]

There could be so many underlying medical or mental disorders that could be affecting him. He really needs to see a Dr. as soon as possible. Depression can make people do so many things that they normally wouldn't even consider on a normal day.

Was he like this before his wife left? Love and jealousy can also be two things that are very hard for some to deal with. If he still loves her, I am sure that he has alot of mixed emotions right now.

Some people threaten suicide for attention and others follow through. Suicide should not go overlooked no matter what is causing them to say it. Many people do not think about what stress, anxiety, depression, etc. can do the body physically. When you get upset your body produces glucocortoids which are very damaging to your internal organs. If left untreated over a long peroid of time, it can become fatal. Constant anxiety is very dangerous.

Please urge him to see a Dr.

I think at this moment, you should sympathize with how he feels. It doesn't matter how others feel, or how you feel. It's not that he doesn't cherish life, it's just that he doesn't know how to deal with his life right now. You can take him into a room full of people with cancer and that isn't going to bring him out of his depression, because it's a medical condition that he has no choice of changing right now.

Don't tell him how he should feel, and how he should appreciate life because so many others are dying and wish they weren't. ASK him what you can do for him. He is the one that matters. He needs to know that. He needs someone to talk to that will listen and and knows how to deal with these disorders.

 

[mylittlechickpea]

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I have a daily struggle with my depression. I certainly don't want to feel this way, but I have gotten help. I see a counselor and I am on meds.

Don't just think he has the control to pull himself out of this, if you want to talk to him about this ask him how he feels and why he feels this way and if there is anything that makes him happy. Go from there.

I certainly don't want to downplay your family members that have passed on from cancer but that is not going to help your son right now in his struggles.

I don't necessarily like the fact that I am on medication for something that most people view as trivial and insignificant but it has helped me out with my daily struggles immensely. As JoeBryant stated there are free clinics that you can go to to seek help. If he threatens his life in front of you call 911. They will take him and have him on hold for at least 48-72 hour holding period (depending on your state) for eval. And they will go from there, decided a plan and take action.

And certainly don't be ashamed. My brother was in the psyc ward of a county hospital in Arizona for 2 months for bi-polar/depression/suicide before he felt he was well enough to leave. The whole while my mother was urging him to just give the answers they wanted to hear at every eval so she wouldn't have the stigma of having a child in the psyc ward.

Just love on him and get him the help he needs. every person is different and the same treatment will not work on for every single person. But he certainly needs help or he will make the wrong choice soon...

ETA: If you go to the county hospital they will also help out with medicare/medicaid forms to see if he is eligible for any gov't assistance before they provide care. At least that's how it worked in NV...

 

[Sootsie]

he needs help hes asking for it. i went through a really bad break up last year it nearly destroyed me but the doc helped me through, i lost my job at the same time i ended up on medication as well as therapy for a while but the best thing for me was my family and daft as it seems a dog (but i was out of work) im slowly getting my self together i have a job which is really helping and plenty of pets my kids have inflicted on me and a couple of good friends
depression is a roller coaster you are up and down somethings you can deal with like work, others you cant, being alone was the thing i couldnt cope with especially at night.
my kids are grown up i was lucky both had time for me and grand kids too all you can do is let him know you are there, try keep his mind occupied and help him find the help he needs. and if he lets you give him a hug there is light at the end of the tunnel and he will learn to cope but he needs help to see it. if it helps tell him ive been where he is i know how hard it is but it does get easier ive got a fare way to go still but i know i can get there now. so will your son

 

[turney31]

20 years ago, my best friend told me she wanted to kill herself. I told her husband, he poo-pooed it off. I didn't tell any one else as she promised me she wouldn't do anything. Two days later she shot herself in the heart with a 45 pistol at her BIL's house. She died instantly. She left a 6 year old child. Call for help immediately!!!! I wish I had.

Wouldn't you rather have him alive and mad?

Please take this serious!

Micah

 

[floridaquilter]

from the bottom of my heart...Thank you all for your advice and understanding.
Today, my son has taken his daughter (3) to the movies. I know he will be fully distracted from his own sorrows for the weekend. He seems to have his down moods during the week evenings.
I have certainly considered calling for help and have him evaluated. but I haven't done that as yet for everyone should know his problems would be many times over if his workplace found out and decided to fire him. I would also have to live with the reputation of "telling" on him.
I now understand that apparently no matter how often I tell him that I love and need him it doesn't seem to be working. He gets caught up in his own depressed feelings of self worth. He tells me that he has always felt this way even when young..I tell him his depression only showed up when he met his wife.
He is always very eager to give his old mom a tight hug. Depression does run in our family and I have two daughters on meds and my brother took his own life at 41 yrs old.
all excuses and blaming aside...
The world seems so difficult during these times for our youth.
I will have a talk with him and make an appointment with the family doctor. I have even considered getting him his own dog..think he would love that!
thanks for the replies

 

[mom'sfolly]

Depression is not something he is just going to snap out of. He's got a medical issue that needs to be addressed. Telling him basically that he has nothing to be sorry about, and that if he really wants to see something bad he should visit a cancer ward isn't helpful in the least. It just minimizes the pain he is feeling, and in all likelihood, makes him feel even more worthless. I can imagine that his thought process is something like "I such a horrible person, there are people so much worse off than I am, the world will certainly be a better place without me miserably taking up space".

Get him to a doctor, convince him to limit interaction with his ex and keep him busy and focused. Keep saying you love him, and that you want to help him. Keep saying you need him, his kid needs him, he has friends who care, etc.....

 

[dandelionheart]

Ditto the need to get him professional help... calling a crisis hotline would be very helpful and probably give you the resources locally to get him help ASAP. There are clinics that are sliding fee based, so if he doesn't have much money he doesn't have to pay much - and from my understanding won't turn you away (unless you abuse their services). 211 (two-one-one) on your telephone in most areas of the US gets you a social services line that will help you find these places if you feel uncomfortable calling a crisis line for that info. Most lines are 24/7 - and don't feel bad calling off hours, they really want to help you. Good luck and watch for signs. Here is our local website, but the general info of course is the same. http://www.lafayettecrisiscenter.org/Suicide.htm
and of course 1-800-suicide will get you a center close to you.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Call the county and they will have information for mental health care issues. Tell him to make an appointment and if while waiting to be seen or anytime after he mentions hurting himself call 911.

 

[wolftracks]

There are a lot of free resources out there for hmi, At least for now there are, so find them quickly.

If he knows he needs help, he NEEDS HELP.

There's a lot of ideas here and I hope you find the right one, but it needs to be soon.

And I'm not trying to start anything, but true depression doesn't usually allow you to use faith. It's good in theory, but when someone is really having a problem it's hard to have faith in anything. Depression is real and it has to be dealt with professionally.

And I know you want to help with talking to him, but your best bet and his, is to listen and maybe together you can find him some help.

He's 25, he works, he had a family. Just having to go home to mom and not being in control of his own surrounds now is probably adding to the problem, but he needs to be somewhere.

I hope you find a solution.