Son keeps threatening suicide

[PineappleMama]

If all else fails you might try taking him to a local clinic... down here we have Care Now, donno about where you are. All my experiences with them, from flu shots to major sick with ear, throat, sinus and lung infection have been great. Good doctors, good staff, and reasonably priced. Give them a call and ask if they can do an exam for antidepressants. It might be a start int he right direction.

The other option is to wait until he does do something (IMO selfish and) stupid and then he could end up locked in a state home... no insurance and the regular hospitals won't keep him. At least not here they don't. They either discharge, still messed up, or ship to the state place. And he won't get out until they say he can, no AMA from the state hospital. Lose job, be away from family, all that on top of the risk of waiting...

I'd put in a visit to the clinic... but also remember that unless you're going to hound him he may very well decide to go off any meds prescribed and be right back in that dark place... it is NOT an easy road.

 

[geebs]

There is likely some interference with uptake inhibitors in his brain that control seratonin or some similar disturbance..... It is very real and very treatable.. but doing nothing doesn't help... he continues to lose sleep and continues to cycle out of control until he is just fed up with TRYING... Get him help immediately.. GABA can provide some over the counter immediate relief along with some vitamin b-12 but he needs a 6 month term of something that is lasting and to be monitored by a MEDICAL professional.... and maybe even a mental health professional... He is telling you and that is usually the last call for help... Get on it... Regret will come in one form and it is one you would rather not have...

 

[mordarlar]

I am so sorry your son is dealing with all of this. And it is a LOT to deal with. I am also sorry for you. It is hard to see our kids hurt.

I haven't read past the first few posts but i have some experience with both depression and suicide. If he is asking to see a Dr., it IS TIME to help him get to one. Depression can be very heavy for the person bearing it.

He is probably enduring feelings of failure (even though this is FAR from the case). Be VERY CAREFUL not to make him feel like he is failing YOU TOO because he is feeling the way he is. Let him know that you are proud of him and the way he is battling his feelings and the strong way he has been fighting to overcome the adversity. Let him know that you see his sadness as the strength of his love and not as a weakness. Let him know, because i assure you he CANNOT SEE IT RIGHT NOW, that there IS light at the end of this tunnel. Help him see that. And most importantly...get him to a Dr.. There are free clinics and other types of social agencies that can help him get on the road to feeling better. He just needs a moment to rest and sometimes the only way to get that moment is with help. He is certainly a very smart and strong man to recognize this for himself at such a difficult time.

God bless him and i will certainly keep him in my prayers.

I saw the update and wanted to add to this post...

Many people who commit suicide feel that their loved ones would be better without them. I realize that you are seeing him as lighter due to the time he is able to spend with his daughter but this could in fact be compounding his beliefs of himself and his life. PLEASE get him to a Dr.

Here is the number for an anonymous national suicide hotline. PLEASE GIVE IT TO HIM. It causes no harm and may make all the difference in the world. 1-800-784-2433. Another is 1-800-273-TALK

 

[sourland]

He needs professional help. The family history is part of his genetic make up. I married into a family that is rife with depression. It used to be so and so had a "break down." These so called break downs are the result of seratonin imbalances. When it struck my wife who is the sanest, most together, rational person that I know. It was terrifying to both of us. When my daughter became symptomatic we were prepared. Next in line appears to be my grand daughter. When questioned about how people handled these problems prior to the present medications, our family doctor said to my wife "I'm willing to bet that there is a high level of alcoholism in your family." Right on the money! These people self medicated with alcohol. Not true in every family. He can not control these feelings, and your rationalization can not get through to him. Take this very seriously. He needs professional help. NOW!

 

[Moabite]

Depression is the desire for change. Drastic change. He does need help and fast. This thread brought up my own experiences with suicide and I kinda went off on a rant that would probably not help anyone even if it was truthful. I edited it out. I hope he sees his way though clouds to the sunshine waiting ahead. Late 20's are hard for a lot of people.

 

[Mattemma]

Consider inpatient care even if it is just a few days.A week or more away from everything would be ideal with counseling,but I know the cost can be to much for most. He definitely needs some intense care to help him get through this,because even if he does not really want to die he might accidentally kill himself when he uses suicide attemps as a cry for help. With winter coming and holidays depression is on the rise.

If he wasn't so suicidal I would say a trip even.He needs a change of the scene and time to talk through the feelings.Even a weekend somewhere.Keep trying different things and contacting various groups. I understand the *shame* connected with mental illness and the wrong people finding out.Most people are touched some way by mental illness in their lives.It is a shame there is still such a stigma.

I can tell you if a person wants to kill themselves they will and the only thing that will prevent it is having 24 hour watch,which is someone sitting right next to you 24/7.BTDT

Prayers!

 

[WhoopiePie]

i think you should make this a big deal so he realizes that HE is a big deal! make a point of actually saying that so he doesn't feel attacked.

most importantly, remind him that he has a daughter that will have to grow up without a father if he commits suicide. if he thinks she's better off without him, tell him that an imperfect/flawed father is better than NO father, especially for little girls! she's his reason for living and she has a lifetime of unconditional love to give to him.

i know it's not going to be easy to get a doctor, but once he starts talking/crying/screaming there might be less pressure and confused feelings swirling around in his head. i wish you and your family the best of luck.

and p.s. i like to keep personal matters personal too, but i think you deserve a big

for reaching out and knowing when to ask for advice. no one can do it alone! you're a good momma

 

[arabianequine]

Quote:
Right! There are free clinics/hospitals where he can go for help. Call your local mental health groups and tell them what you've written here.

True we are a pretty small town and we have a local mental health place and they have a crisis clinic/and 24/7 phone number available to call at all times. Also you can call 911 and they will get a hold of them too. They are both there to protect people/citizens from a lot of things even from them selves if needed.

http://capp.peds.ufl.edu/captf/pdf/PutnamResources.pdf

http://www.ecs4kids.org/parent_fin_putnam.php

http://www.pcantidrugcoalition.com/resources.html

They provide 24-hour crisis intervention, shelter for women and children, ..... National Institute of Mental Health 410.659.9314

Hillsborough County Crisis Center Inc - Travelers Aid ... 419 N Prospect St, Crescent City, FL 32112, (386) 698-2122

 

[Cindiloohoo]

After reading just the original post and the first few....I gotta say it...I WOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY IN HIS SHOES!!!

Yeesh, the boy is 25, and lost everything HE knows about his time becoming a man and growing his own family. No matter how anyone else feels, he has every right to want to give up. I mean the time with his wife is a LARGE percentage of his life as a whole, and MOST of the percentage of his time on his own, even if it were just a couple years they were together. Not that he should do it, but dang! He's been dealt a crap of a hand, and maybe saying so and acknowledging the validity of how distraught he is emotionally...is all he needs.

Mom, I would feel the same way as you do about it too. The problem is...on this side, not having to be in your shoes either, makes it easy to say that you CAN'T say the things you are saying to him to snap him out of it. It won't work. My suggestion, and I wouldn't be able to do it either if it were my kid, is to give him lots of space. I'm a mom too, and I know mom's ALWAYS want to "fix" it and get the kids back on track, but honestly, I don't think you can. This is just one of those things you have to let him, as a man, handle on his own. He already has had a MAJOR blow to his ego losing his wife the way he lost her. If mommy fixes this, he will likely no longer see himself as a man at all. I'd take a step back, and AGREE with him, that it is okay to FEEL that way, but ask for the sake of who he would leave, that he not take action on his feelings right now. That's really all you can do. Sorry the both of you are having to deal with this!!!

 

[Slinkytoys]

What everybody else said plus++++++You need to make sure he understands that if he commits suicide he will be significantly increasing the chance that his daughter will do so as well. It's been documented that suicide can run in families. Surely he loves his daughter and would not want this to happen. He may not care about himself right now, hopefully with help this will change.
My thoughts are with you.
Slinky