soon to be 19 yr old DD just told me.........UPdate.......post1

[MuranoFarms]

Quote:
You suggest she have a child at 19? Are you kidding me???? I had a child at 23 and I think I was too young. I'm sorry, but you don't have a kid, so you have no 'credentials' on this one.

First off, age doesn't matter. You 'bounce back' in the morning after baby was up all night out of love and devotion. Age doesn't have a thing to do with it. However, many teen moms resent their child for them loosing their 'fun years'. If you think a teen mom wont be "bombarded with things to do that are far more "fun" than" taking care of baby, you are sadly mistaken. I have a cousin who had her child when she was a teen (now 23) and she is always whining about how it's 'not fair' that she has no time for partying and friends. Also....the baby's daddy decided after 3 years that he was too young to be tied down to a GF and baby and dumped her. So now she has a new BF every other week and none of them stick around because they don't want to be responsible for someone else's kid. Let's face it....teen parents have a higher breakup rate then older parents do.

Wait 6 years till jr is in school to go back to school? So she can sit there and see everyone else having fun while she goes home to a job and baby? Ohhh, there's a good plan! Most college students work full time jobs in addition to full time classes. Do you have any idea how much college cost's these days? How much work do you think she would have to do at a minimum wage job to support school and a baby? Exactly where do you think a baby fits in? Scholarships aren't as readily available 6 years out of high school and there's still babysitting to pay for.

Overlarge generation gap??? Do you honestly think that as individuals this really matters? Seriously? So why didn't you contribute to changing this problem? You were having fun and getting your education. Now you want to advise teens to have babies and live their lives on minimum wage because of a problem you weren't willing to help change. That's lovely.

You need to check some statistics on teen parents before you make statements like this. Very few go back to school. Many subsist on welfare and medical assistance.

I'm sorry to disagree with you. I try not to post an argument like this....but talk about pushing buttons! Your post pushed several of mine.

 

[babylady4]

Hmm... I started having my kids at 21. Do I regret the experiences I missed out on? Let's see; getting drunk constantly, running around all hours of the night, 'coloring' with how many different guys, messing up my schooling, bopping from one job to the next.... I think I like the trade off of changing diapers and getting spit up upon. Not that I am saying it was all fun and games but I was a pretty resposible kid at 15 let alone 21. I could have finished school earlier and we could have started having kids later on but I am happy with the choices I have made. Was it tough? You bet! Have we struggled financially? At times, but we have NEVER gotten assistance from the gov. at any time. I look at it this way; all of my kids will be over the age of 20 by the time I am 50, still young enough to enjoy doing all the things I enjoy doing now and not have to deal with health issues (

) that would prevent me from doing what I wish. I certainly do not want to deal with teenagers at 60; I can't even imagine having a baby right now and I am 35!

BTW I DID go back to school and finish my degree..... unfortunately this recession hit the year I graduated so finding a job has been a challenge..... so now I am looking and going BACK to school and getting another degree.

BTW, generation gap. Yes there is one and it is frustrating to the younger parent when the majority of the parents with children the same ages as your children are all 10 years or more loder than you. You do not fit in at all.

I had MORE fun going back to school at an older age than I did when I first started. You have more cahones' when you are older and you don't take any garbage from people or professors. Plus the other students ask you a lot of questions!