Stella's Social Club

[The Sheriff]

What better place to come when you want to be alone then the Stella Social Club on the weekend! I got out of bed hoping to see a post from you.

A little weakness in a vessel wall taking down an Army Ranger shows that some things are just beyond our control. I will be thinking about you tomorrow and praying that you get through through the final steps in sending Michael home. You will know by the crowd that we was loved on earth by more than just his family. With God's grace may you find peace and make sense of it all.

Take care my friend.

Mary

 

[NotAFarm]

What better place to come when you want to be alone then the Stella Social Club on the weekend! I got out of bed hoping to see a post from you.

A little weakness in a vessel wall taking down an Army Ranger shows that some things are just beyond our control. I will be thinking about you tomorrow and praying that you get through through the final steps in sending Michael home. You will know by the crowd that we was loved on earth by more than just his family. With God's grace may you find peace and make sense of it all.

Take care my friend.

Mary

and The Other Mary

 

[Cetawin]

Kathy your stories of Michael bring to mind so many good men who departed this world before their time...my heart breaks for all of you and as a mother, my very soul screams as I cannot imagine that loss. My husband sends this parting interchange for Michael...one he surely had in life, with hopes of a familiar parting.....with Respect and Salute:

"Travel well Ranger"

" Roger Out Beret"

"Roger That Brother"

 

[kathyinmo]

Do you all know how much you mean to me? Something I want to get better at doing is to be sure others know how much they mean to me. You all bring me laughter and fun, as well as knowledge and information. I enjoy you all so very much. I am grateful for you all.

(Take this while you can, because you know when I get to feeling better I will not be so sentimental and I will get back to my more harrassing style.)

Today has been long. The family visitation at the funeral home was 4-7PM. Just informal. People coming and going. Well, it lasted longer. The place was packed the entire time. It was difficult for me to remember names of some familiar faces. Grown men crying and sobbing and comforting each other. Lots of them. Rangers, Railroaders, Classmates, Wrestlers, Friends and family ..... men and boys crying and hugging. Then, there were the girls and women..... maybe strange, but I think they were the "stronger" ones today. It is touching to observe. There were more people that arrived today (by air and by auto), mostly males. More that needed to see the photo-music video and needed to tell and hear stories. Tears of joy and tears of sadness - both. Love was in the air, that is for sure. I felt surrounded by love and strength and was comforted, and I thought of all of you too. I felt strong today.

I do not, however, want to face tomorrow. I have been making it one day at a time. I pray to make it each day and not concern myself with the morrow. Well, until now. Tomorrow is the day. The final day of this celebration of Michael's life. I do not want tomorrow.... I do not want to go to sleep. Somehow in my warped thinking I feel I want to stay awake to keep it night time and prevent the arrival of tomorrow.

The shirt shop told one of people that went there today that they had printed up over 300 shirts. Many do not even know about them, but (obviously) many do. Facebook spread the word, I think.

A couple men that came in I could not recognise at all, even when they muttered their names. They were not well dressed - well, what I mean is, umm, they were wearing rather odd mismatched clothing and they sorta reminded me of Brock being sick - like schizophrenics are, if you know what I mean. They were sobbing. I mean alot! One found out who I was and grabbed me and hugged me tight, all the time trying to talk through sobs. I do not know the story except that they were saying Michael took care of them. I would venture to say these guys might be homeless?? I just don't know and I did not get the opportunity to investigate this, but I wonder.

I am hoarse. I am tired. I do not want tomorrow to come and I do not want tomorrow to be over. I do not want to bury him. I do not want my son buried in the ground.


This is Brittney and my second son, Travis.




My four sons a couple years ago....
Brock (#3), Michael (#1), Tyler (#4),
standing is Travis (#2)

 

[capayvalleychick]

I do not want to bury him. I do not want my son buried in the ground.

Kathy, your son is with God in heaven. Picture him there - and with you - always.

 

[drumstick diva]

Kathy, you will find the strength to get thru tomorrow just take it one day at a time . Don't be shy with friends or family, let them know what your needs are. Peace and love .

 

[cbnovick]

Kathy,

It's so good that you are able and feel like touching base with us...I can certainly understand why you don't want this celebration to end and why you don't want tomorrrow to begin. I cannot really imagine...I have 3 kids...24, 16 and 5...something about your first born...hard to explain except the obvious...there's a 'sweet spot' that's not better but just unique...perhaps because we were naive to parenthood at that point...it was a new journey for both our first baby and ourselves...

Right now, it's minute by minute...then it will be hours...then days etc. you will always cherish him and of course never forget him...it is a process, a journey of stages to an acceptance. Every person who loved and loves Michael will go through this in his or her own unique way...you'll take care of yourself and them and vice versa...you won't journey alone.

To quote Forest Gump "Death is a part of Life, but I sure wish it wasn't."

I am so sorry your heart is aching...probably every cell of your being is...

If I could dedicate a song that depicts pure & essential love, like that of Mother and her Child,
it would be "Bridge Over Troubled Water".

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
Oh when times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you
I'll take your part
Oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on silver girl, sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

Try to get some rest, Kathy...you and yours will get through Tomorrow.

((Hugs))

Cindy

 

[The Sheriff]

I am on my IPad and can't type very wel. Now I am crying so I really can't type. I just wanted to acknowledge Kathy's post. you will be in my heart tomorrow and I wish with all my heart you did not have to go through this. You will get through it somehow. Let people take care of you for a change and spend your last hours with your boy leaning on others. God bless you and all the wonderful people who shared in the celebration of Michael's life.

 

[Cetawin]

Kathy tomorrow always comes when we wish we had more time in today but one thing is certain, you will make it through tomorrow just as you did today but with so much more strength....the strength of all the blessings you have been given in each second you were so blessed and cherished to have that wonderful child in your life. The strength that will come from the hundreds of invisible hands holding you up that you have acquired in each precious hug from your son and all of those people that loved him and shared his life.

Please be selfish now in your grief....tell those around you what YOU need and let others help. Allow yourself the moments of nothing.

While we will not be there with you please know when you feel invisible small strong hands on your low back holding you up...they are mine and all my strength and love will be there for you.

 

[debs_flock]

Kathy, just know my thoughts have been with you and your time of sorrow now for many days.