Sticky Situation Advice?

[elizabethbinary]

Quote:
I get a feeling you'd be happy if I told it to you straight... but in a nice pair of shorts!! Hahaha.


....wait will that work?

 

[Moabite]

Quote:
I get a feeling you'd be happy if I told it to you straight... but in a nice pair of shorts!! Hahaha.


....wait will that work?

Ok, can I go down there and mess up your coop next? Maybe he is just waiting for a good scolding?

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
What kind of inspection?

You could always be proactive and go to them first and say something like "I'm housing a flood victim, and he offered to build me a nice coop for my chickens. Seemed like a great idea, but the reality is that it is hideous and unstable. I do NOT plan to keep this "structure" once he has gone, but I really do not want to hurt his feelings by telling him how ugly and unsound it is. Is there some way that we can reach agreement right now that it will be taken apart as soon as he is gone, and I will not be cited for it when y'all inspect next week? I am more than willing to put this in writing."

I was thinking that, actually. My husband was hoping we could get him to tear it down before calling the agency and telling them (it's a rental inspection but the agency is closely tied to the council and I live in a year-old newly built suburban estate.

) but it doesn't really look like that's going to happen because I've been on their case now for 3 days and he hasn't even touched the coop (thank christ) since then. Nobody is telling me anything!! And one of the people had a guest over last night so I really couldn't bring it up at the table, grrrrr.

I work tonight and tomorrow, too. UGH! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CHASING EVERYONE AROUND TO DO STUFF.

I can't do it all! I have work and I clean the rest of the darn house AND I am now cooking for five people!! D: Sorry now I'm just whinging....

I certainly hope they ASKED if it was okay to invite a guest for dinner? Sounds to me like you need to set up a chore chart for your "houseguests." It is wonderful that you have taken them in, but they need to be contributing to your household in one way or another while they are there: vaccuming, dusting, laundry, walking the dogs, feeding hte animals, fixing dinner, washing dishes--whatever chores you are willing to share; and be sure to teach them how to do the chore the way you like.

 

[elizabethbinary]

Quote:
I was thinking that, actually. My husband was hoping we could get him to tear it down before calling the agency and telling them (it's a rental inspection but the agency is closely tied to the council and I live in a year-old newly built suburban estate.

) but it doesn't really look like that's going to happen because I've been on their case now for 3 days and he hasn't even touched the coop (thank christ) since then. Nobody is telling me anything!! And one of the people had a guest over last night so I really couldn't bring it up at the table, grrrrr.

I work tonight and tomorrow, too. UGH! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CHASING EVERYONE AROUND TO DO STUFF.

I can't do it all! I have work and I clean the rest of the darn house AND I am now cooking for five people!! D: Sorry now I'm just whinging....

I certainly hope they ASKED if it was okay to invite a guest for dinner? Sounds to me like you need to set up a chore chart for your "houseguests." It is wonderful that you have taken them in, but they need to be contributing to your household in one way or another while they are there: vaccuming, dusting, laundry, walking the dogs, feeding hte animals, fixing dinner, washing dishes--whatever chores you are willing to share; and be sure to teach them how to do the chore the way you like.

No, they didn't. But we had a talk about that. ticked me off. They had TWO guests over and gave me ONE hours notice and didn't ask just said "soandso is coming over" and I didn't have time to argue because I was leaving!! I had STRANGERS in my home for an HOUR without my husband or myself ever having met them OR being home. Made me FUME.

They're SUPPOSED to be doing all those things to help out... but only one is - the one who works. The other two (coop builder and D's girlfriend) just sit around on the internet all day as they watch me clean. Grrrrrr.... I've been telling them to do things like clean the bathroom, but even that took TWO days and it's THEIR bathroom I asked them to clean!!!

The ONLY one doing chores is the one who also WORKS 40+ hours, pays rent on time, always offers more money when we don't even need it, sweeps without asking, does EVERYONE'S laundry... it upsets him too and you can tell. My husband and I think HE's been supporting the other two for years and he can't really take it much anymore either.

I feel really crappy asking them to do too much but honestly, yesterday I had to clean up a bunch of cans from m yard because coop-builder left them out for my geese to eat AND he keeps leaving the backdoor open with my expensive air conditioning on (which he lowers 2 degrees every time he gets to it!!!).

....rantyrantyranty....

Husband wanted to talk last night but then the stupid guest. Tonight I'm working so hopefully this will be fixed before I get back or redhead will be POd.

 

[Blackbird]

Is he trying to build a time machine..?
And what's with the bed sheets all over it?

I'd offer to come and take a sledge hammer to it, but I'm a bit further away than I'm willing to travel.

Oh golly I love this thread!

 

[SilverPhoenix]

I think it's very kind of you to house the flood victims.

Make sure they are not causing you too much stress/burden and set down rules about them staying there, but I admire your kindness in letting them stay.

And...um...I don't have high standards for chicken coops, I really don't, I keep many of my birds in dog kennels with orange construction fencing over them to prevent escapes or hawks, but that "coop" is just...wow. I can't say I've ever seen anything like it! It's very...unique...

Yeah, add me to the list of people laughing about it, because that is the silliest darn chicken coop I have ever seen.

Time to have a talk with him, either directly or have someone else do it for you, because the way that's going I just can't see it getting any better. It's going to require a lot of fixing if not a full-out rebuild in order to be usable as it is!

 

[Moabite]

I am perplexed how some see being kind as a weakness. Speaking from experience, the longer you wait to build that fire under their butts, the more steamed they will feel toward you. I'm still very patient, but I outgrew being taken advantage of in my late 20's. Now I start getting the kindling ready before they set down.

 

[elizabethbinary]

I think my main problem with speaking to them is that the boy in question I don't know from a bar of soap and he's a 6' tall 20-something male and I'm a 5' tall and currently still weak from recovering from illness female. I know D and his girlfriend S, but S is just as bad (and thinks the coops is okay!) and D is always at work.

I don't know this man and he's in my home with my husband at work, which is why I think it's hard for me to say something, y'know? Which is why I'm trying to get others to do it. But it's not working. It's okay, I have sharp knives.

I will definitely write out a chore list.

I just saw the 'clean' bathroom. This will NOT fly.

I just feel awful, y'know... like they're homeless and I'm on their case about keeping my house clean and up to my standards...

but, really... four days to do dishes for 5 people? The ONLY people doing dishes are me, my husband and D... not the two people on their butts all day??? what.

 

[Moabite]

I wouldn't want you to get hurt, that being said. You live half way around the world from me, but I can tell by your passion that being scorned by you would be painful.

Maybe have coop builder build a pig pen for himself and the other animals so the more civilized can relax.

(yeah, I laugh at my own jokes)

 

[ebwy2]

they may be homeless but they are still guests in your home and should treat it and you with respect, clear up after themselves and not take advantage.

if they want to wallow in poor-me they can do so - as long as they keep things clean and tidy while they do so!

(I've been homeless and taken in by someone... and I wouldn't EVER leave their home to get in a state like that!)