Stress, Depression & Coping with them... skills needed!


12 Years
Jun 3, 2008
Western Colorado - Formerly E. TN Smokies
My Coop
My Coop
Without disclosing uncomfortable information, lets just say I grew up in an abusive household. The skills I learned to deal with stress are wrong, just wrong, and although these things invade my mind when I get stressed & upset, I know better than to DO any of them. I've done pretty well to learn to be sane & balanced, but still in my mid 30's I have little to no stress coping skills.

Most of my stresses are family related right now, but I'm not stupid enough to think that when the kid moves out, that everything will be all better. DH drives me nuts sometimes too. I'm quick to get angry & totally upset beyond reason.

Currently my skillset is probably equal to a 7 or 8 year old (embarassing I know) right down to mild temper tantrums, walking away, crying, wanting to bang my head into the wall until....

So... I turn to you, thousands of you to ask & learn from.

This year I came down with Shingles, supposedly due to stress. My moods & attitude this year is borderline depressed and frankly losing hope that things will ever get any better!!! I know this is all in my head, because my logical side reminds me that Life is what you make of it!

So how do you deal with stress? Am I the only one who wants to strangle someone sometimes? Just lash out violently? Sometimes it takes me more than a few hours to "get over myself" and often times I carry the stress with me for days on end, thereby ruining whatever wonderful moments could happen if my mood was stable.

I used to dance, skydive, tunnelfly, sing/perform, read, and be very social. My current life doesn't allow for any of that at all, and so everything that used to be really important and wonderful is now gone gone gone. My only human exposure is DH & DD and I try to remind them that they are the only humans I ever see or SPEAK to, but that doesn't really help them 'behave' or sympathize since they are both out in the world every day and just don't understand. I'm trying to pick up a few hobbies, keep myself busy etc but frankly it just feels like MORE WORK, and they stress me out even more!

Tips & advice to cope with normal everyday stresses is very much appreciated and desperately needed.
Sorry it took me so long to find this post...

Have you considered a prescription? I am not normally a pill pusher, but from personal experience, I can tell you that in this situation. Pills are not bad.

Depression as you probably know comes from a chemical imbalance in your brain. Until you get that 'fixed', all of the other things probably wont imp.rove.

PM if you want to chat...

I think you should go see your primary doctor for medication, and have your doctor refer to you a therapist who can teach you coping skills! Been there and now I am just fine! God bless you!
I am a stay at home mom, and my days consist of tending to chickens and cleaning, and of course BYC and more BYC.

It doesn't bother me being at home everyday by myself, but some people need to be around people. I do have a friend that comes over every great once and while, but other than, by myself until the kids get home.

Find you a friend that you can visit with every now and then. I am thinking that your either bored with same ole every day routine or you may have some depression.

I hope that you find something that will work for you.
I agree. I don't like meds, but once I found the right one I was astonished at how different I felt. Once that is adjusted, other things come easier. Make time for yourself. If you do not take care of YOU, you will not be there to take care of anyone else. Find things you enjoy, get out into the world even in small amounts... Find pleasure in simple things. Learn how to say NO, and not let it bother you. We often give so much of ourselves there is little left. Donate some time helping others. Often helping others helps to heal ourselves.....
Stress will give you heart disease, among other health problems...

if you look at depression meds as saving you from that - then they aren't "just for crazies" or "unnecesary" at all.

besides... xanax rules


Hi Dawn There is a high correlation in abusive family situations with the disease of alcoholism - even if you are not sure if there was "alcoholic" drinking in your home growing up you would be most welcome in the rooms of Al-Anon(international support group for family and friends of alcoholics). There are meetings everywhere!; phone 1-888-4-AlAnon or log onto Al-Anon/Alateen .org to find one. There are even groups on line! We are a "We" program - NO ONE needs to deal with life on life's terms(stress and all) alone. Prayers winging your way...Lynn E. Ditto you may need meds or therapy as well...don't rule anything out, out-of-hand.
Everybody handles (or doesn't) stress differently. And I've noticed that people definitely have different stress thresholds. I don't outwardly act out with stress (I keep it inside), but my body does. When I'm really stressed, my body reacts in a physical way...mouth ulcers, hives, irritable bowel syndrom, etc. So I really work at NOT putting myself in stressful situations.
I find reading soothing (or maybe Sitting with my chickens is actually therapeutic for me. Try to find something (safe and that makes you feel good.
I agree with others that it's probably time to consult your family doctor. Maybe counseling would help, or maybe antidepressants. Don't rule either out. Feel better soon...
aside from meds...

Find out one thing that you know is TRUE - and hold onto that.

example - when I was going through stress/depression (without drugs) the one thing that kept me getting out of bed every morning was that I knew that God was there and that I would learn something from the experience. (I'm talking "God" without the baggage of a church experience if you choose not to belong to such - when you're depressed, socializing at church or anywhere else is not necesarily what you want to get out of bed for - even if it is what you need, you won't do it usually, because it's just too much trouble.)

I came out - two years later - with the knowledge (as expressed in my tagline
) that "Everything you know is wrong." As soon as I accepted that, I could start to heal myself.

sort of like Christ in the Garden - not MY will, but Yours be done, Oh Lord.

(P.S - I'm not a Christian
But Christ was a spectacular teacher.)


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