Teen caught Sneaking out Again!

[tink]

Set up the rules before hand.....give them the respondsibility. Not all kids are having sex..... If you condon it....then you will have other issues. When you have teenagers of your own.....you face these issues daily. Good luck
Tink

 

[Patchofheaven]

I totally agree about the condom issue, that is why purchased them for him to begin with. I was no saint and I know exactly what he is doing. I'm not condoning that he have sex, but I know that he will and I want him to be careful and use protection.

The sex thing is not my biggest worry at all: I worry that he might hurt himself to get back at me for hurting him. He has never come out and said that he would commit suicide or anything like that, but how many people do you know that follow through with committing suicide gave warnings to their parents. I just don't know what he will do, like Romeo and Juliet - we are not forbidding them from seeing each other - we have invited her over for dinner and movies, but her stepmom says no...

 

[Southern28Chick]

I wish you luck with your situation. I'm leaving this thread alone now.

Final thought:
No teenager sneaks out of a house to chat with another teenager of the opposite sex. I do not have kids and I especially don't have teenagers but I was a teenager not that long ago. I know what teenagers do. They can hang out with each other all they want during the day, all day if they want because they're neighbors. They're sneaking out at night to have sex. What else could they be doing??????

 

[Mac in Wisco]

Maybe they're running a still on the back forty...

 

[chickonaroost]

Sex or not....does that part REALLY matter? Obviously if they are having sex, the condoms are in his pocket, right?
I would be most concerned about the lying and sneaking. Like any Shakespearean tragedy, it won't end well. If her parents catch HIM, then you may have to fear for his life. We have all had broken hearts at one time or another and I'm sure a micro-percentage have tried to commit suicide over it. Broken hearts are part of teenagehood, and the best thing you can do is be firm with the rules and be there when his heart is broken.
Whatever you do, don't forbid him from seeing her....that will add to what sounds like an already drama-filled relationship.

 

[Patchofheaven]

Quote:
I do not know the real mom, but was told horrible stories from the stepmom about biological mom physically, verbally abusing and neglecting the daughter and her baby brother. Dad and biomom were divorced when she was about 5 years old and Dad has had sole custody for several years after discovering abuse. Dad married stepmom about 9 years ago and became Brady Bunch family (yours, mine and ours) they have a total of 7 kids only 5 live with them. Stepmom has 2 biological daughters that live with there biofather and grandparents, she has joint custody - always thought that was a little weird , now I'm beginning to wonder if there was any physical abuse with the bio daughters...

Now, I'm really 2nd guessing myself.

 

[cookinmom]

Quote:

Or smoking weed...
Your son probably feels quite the man, dating an 'older woman', especially such a 'distressed damsel' that needs saving from the evil stepmother. That's a lot of drama for a 15-year old! I hope this works out OK for y'all.

 

[Wolfpacker]

Edited to add: I'm not dismissing your problem. I lead a pretty boring life and this is some pretty racy stuff here! Just trying to add a little levity to what I'm sure is a trying situation

 

[countrygirl4513]

Patch of Heaven, I sent you an email.
I just want you to remember...God gives all mothers instincts. Don't deny them. When it comes to our children instinct kicks in, trust the instincts that you have.
You can always report possible child abuse to dept. of children services, anonymously. If this s-mom is abusing the girl it is not your sons place to protect her. #1 it is her father's place.
Your son has to understand that he is still your child and that you care about what he does. If he threatens suicide then that is something that he needs counseling for, something deeper inside that is eating at him.
I would agree that sex is the least of it. Trust has to be earned. When it is broken, it is a long time mending. He still has 3 more years before he is an adult. And even at 18 they still make stupid mistakes. But under your roof...my way or the highway... so to speak.

 

[SarahF]

Boy, does this all sound way too familiar. I'm only 22, so not too long ago was I 17 and had met my now husband. I never snuck out, but i lied to my parents plenty of times and have been caught. No one ever gave me the sex talk in my family, I had to learn on my own.
My now Mother in law once called my brother in law's girlfriends' parents and told them how slutish their daughter was acting and that her son didnt need that sort of distraction. My brother in law has NEVER forgiven his mom for this and has not dated again since. That was 4 years ago and he is now 21...still not interested in any girl but Becky. But Becky has moved on...he hasnt.
In your situation, with having a son (not a daughter) I would ask him to be honest with you and if you already know he's having sex, tell him you dont agree with going behind her parents backs, but he has to make the choice and be prepared for the consequences of her being abused if caught(if that really is what would happen..by him staying with her, he is leaving that as an option - leave that weight on his shoulders).
If you call her parents, you might just ruin your relationship with your son. and who knows, maybe they'll break up in a month, or maybe a year, but you never know if it will last. They are just teenagers.

(sorry if this doesnt help, just my side)