Teen caught Sneaking out Again!

[broncbuster07]

And even at 18 they still make stupid mistakes.


I'm 26, married with 2 kids, and I still make stupid mistakes.

Patch, you have to do what you feel is right, regardless of what anyone here tells you. That's your responsibility as a mother. But just remember, you have to live with the choices you make, just like your son has to live with his choices. I hope things turn out for the best. You have my prayers.

 

[countrygirl4513]

I'm 26, married with 2 kids, and I still make stupid mistakes.

Don't we all. But at such a young age, kids don't realize what they do today can effect their tomorrow. My s-daughter is still yet to awaken, and she now is a single mom. One thing I have always told my kids... "How you act away from this house is a reflection on your family" I have pounded that in their heads their whole lives. I can brag and say that my sons have always been highly regarded by their teachers. That makes my heart swell whenever a teacher tells me "your son is so respectful and well behaved"
Now that will make you swell with pride!

 

[mom'sfolly]

As a fellow parent of boys, you have my sympathy. On the condom issue I think you are right. You are telling your son that while you don't condone the behavior, you feel he should use the condoms if needed. I think you do need to follow through with meeting and talking to the girlfriends parents, preferably in a neutral location like a restarant (sp). I think you should discuss it with your son and have all your issues thought out including allowing them time together, consequences of sneaking out, family violence, underage pregnancy, disease issues, and anything else that may come up. I think that all of it needs to be discussed, as rationally as possiible. If the girls home situation is so awful, to her a pregnancy may seem like the way out. As a parent of a boy, you will have very little say in the way that situation would play out. Maybe talking to the parents will allow the girl the freedom to see your son, diffusing some of the potential drama and despiration they are feeling. You may be being played, but that doesn't mean that she feels safe. If her parents are so strict with a 17 year old that they will not allow her to have dinner at your house, I would be a little suspecious (sp)about her home situation.

 

[Galaxie_Man]

Jesus.....the stories I could tell you all about our troubles with our daughter. She is 22 now, and causes us grief in other ways, but not like the stuff that really had us worried when she was in her mid to late teens. Luckily, the troubles weren't with criminal activity or drugs, but the same thing that PatchofHeaven was lamenting. Trust, lying, sneaking out, sneaking friends in, barely passing grades, etc. When my daughter was in elementary school, she was a model kid....good grades and well behaved. From the second year of middle school until mid senior year of high school, she was an atrocious little B!t@#. I longed for the days that I grew up in, where I could've done like my Dad did and physically beat some sense into her, because nothing, and I mean NOTHING we did had any affect. Even when grounded from the telephone, she would use it behind our backs......no honor what so ever. She never would learn that my wife and I would always find out the truth, and we did. Instead of admitting what she'd done was wrong, she would try to turn the tables and make seem like our fault she was in trouble, just for acting like parents. The only advice I can give is to be strong, consistent, and stand your ground. Pick your battles in order to win the war. For example, don't go as nuts over dirty laundry on the floor as you would for him sneaking out. Make sure he understands that life is a series of choices that he makes, and he has the power to make correct ones. The more he acts like a punk, the more miserable his life becomes, all due to poor judgement on HIS part. Wait it out, and hopefully, things will begin to turn around.

 

[broncbuster07]

Quote:
I thought Patchofheaven posted this, not Jesus.

 

[Varisha]

For wegotchickens: I suggest taking away the power cords to the computer and putting them next to where you sleep

And then anytime she wants on the computer she has to ask for the cords.

Quote:

 

[Patchofheaven]

Well, this is the latest: The girlfriend did not want me to tell her dad, she said that she wanted to be the one to tell him. I said that this would be fine, but I want him to call me back so we can talk about it. Supposedly, she called her dad and her stepmom both at work and told them. I have no idea what she told them, but according to her dad she is grounded for 10 years and her stepmom said she will have to quit cheerleading.

I don't think she is actually being abused. I do think that she has probably gotten slapped before for sassing her stepmom. My mom did that to me once, that's all it took, I never did that again. But that is far from child abuse.

I have yet to speak to her parents, so I don't know (since I can't trust them) if she actually told them anything at all. She told my son that her parents don't want to call me. I'm sure that they are as embarrassed as I am by this ordeal.

 

[Galaxie_Man]

Galaxie_Man wrote:
Jesus.....the stories I could tell you all about our troubles with our daughter.

I thought Patchofheaven posted this, not Jesus.


Yeah, yeah.....I know, you're right. It's just that the memories are so painful I was kind of asking for Jesus' help in staying calm while writing it.

 

[TreyClark281]

dont buy him condoms thats just saying go ahead. ( in my opinion.)
and ask there parents if they could hang out during the day and not during the night...
i sneek out some times but not for my girl friend its just to sit outside ALONE! lol
i am 15 and sorta see where he is coming from.
but you shouldent get really mad at him what would you do at his age? not able to see you bf/gf??
i guess it is normal if he can see her during the day then why not at night and i dought that they are having sex...
they are PROBLEY mostly talking and w/e. but idk your son so... that might happen...
they will break up in a few weeks anyways..
just dont nag him about it. it will make him want to do it more...

 

[Frozen Feathers]

I know what I was doing at 16... I was in "love".

I actually even asked my mom to even get me the pill, which I think is very responsible, but she said, "no, you should wait till you're married."
Well, I didn't wait...cause I was going to marry this guy in my eyes, thank goodness I didn't! And thank goodness I didn't get pregnant or an STD or worse. I don't think my parents were lieniant, they were just in denial. I never snuck out, or stayed out late. I had a part time job, even cared for livestock and did my schoolwork, so it wasn't like I was just a "bad kid". I was just a misinformed one.

I think the best thing parents can do is educate, educate, and educate their children and hope for the best....or buy chastity belts and throw away the key.