the DAILY JOKE thread!!!

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Goldlaced_Girl, Sep 28, 2009.

  1. sonew123

    sonew123 Poultry Snuggie

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    onchiota NY
    Quote:nope your reply to yourself was hilarious... [​IMG]
     
  2. lex381

    lex381 Songster

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    Aug 26, 2009
    Oakland, CA
    chuck norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] there is no evolution theory... just the list of animals chuck norris allows to live, superman sleeps in chuck norris pj's
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2009
  3. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To prove to the possum that it really can be done![​IMG]

    What can a chicken do that a man cannot do????
    Pick up corn with his pecker...[​IMG]

    You find a greasy spot in the road...it either a lawyer or a possum that has been hit. How can you tell the difference?????
    There will be skid marks in front of a possum!!!!![​IMG]

    It was so cold at my house this morning, I saw a politician with his hand in HIS OWN POCKET!!!!!!!!!! [​IMG]

    What does a politician and a sperm cell have in common????
    They both have a 1 in a million shot of being a real human someday. [​IMG]

    How many lawyers does it take to roof a house????
    One if you slice him realllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy thin.[​IMG]

    Whats the difference between a Politician and a catfish????
    One is a slimy...scum sucking bottom dweller...the other a fish.
    [​IMG]

    How can you tell if a Lawyer is well hung????
    You cant get your finger between the rope and his neck...[​IMG]
     
  4. What do you get when you cross and Deadbeat and a Billy Goat?
    A weedeater that wont work.....
    [​IMG]

    What do you get when you cross a polish acrobat and a one legged mongoloid???
    A polaroid one-step... [​IMG]


    Did you hear about the polish kamikaze pilot???
    He returned safely from 27 missions![​IMG]


    Man goes to the doctor and says.... "Doc"... I am still sick!!!
    Doc says...are you using those suppositories I gave you????
    Man says "Doc" for all the good those things did...I might as well
    a shoved em up my hind end!!!!!!!!!!![​IMG]


    Man goes to the doctor....the doctor says..."Sir" your overweight....
    Man says....""Can I get a second opinion??""
    Doc says..."sure"....your ugly too...
    [​IMG]
     
  5. RAREROO

    RAREROO Crowing

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    Jul 22, 2009
    Alapaha, Ga
    Cockadoodledon't :

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To prove to the possum that it really can be done![​IMG]

    What can a chicken do that a man cannot do????
    Pick up corn with his pecker...[​IMG]

    You find a greasy spot in the road...it either a lawyer or a possum that has been hit. How can you tell the difference?????
    There will be skid marks in front of a possum!!!!![​IMG]

    It was so cold at my house this morning, I saw a politician with his hand in HIS OWN POCKET!!!!!!!!!! [​IMG]

    What does a politician and a sperm cell have in common????
    They both have a 1 in a million shot of being a real human someday. [​IMG]

    How many lawyers does it take to roof a house????
    One if you slice him realllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy thin.[​IMG]

    Whats the difference between a Politician and a catfish????
    One is a slimy...scum sucking bottom dweller...the other a fish.
    [​IMG]

    How can you tell if a Lawyer is well hung????
    You cant get your finger between the rope and his neck...[​IMG]

    What do you call sky-diving lawyers?

    Skeet.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cross a librarian with a lawyer and what do you get?

    All the information in the world, except you can't understand it.​
     
  6. RAREROO

    RAREROO Crowing

    4,517
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    Jul 22, 2009
    Alapaha, Ga
    A dyslexic man walks into a bra...




    What do you call a bear with no teeth?

    A gummy bear.
     
  7. Quote:Was he the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac that had been up for 2 weeks wondering if there really was a dog ??
     
  8. birdsofthefarm

    birdsofthefarm Songster

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    Jul 28, 2009
    Grayson County, TX
    WHY DID THE HORSE CROSS THE ROAD [​IMG]
    iT WAS THE CHICKEN'S DAY OFF [​IMG]
     
  9. Fowl97

    Fowl97 Songster

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    Aug 17, 2009
    Iraq
    chuck norris can slam a revolving door
    chuck norris can play russian rulleut with a fully loaded gun and win
    chuck norris can eat just one lays potato chip
    chuck norris destroyed the perdoic table of elements becaus he only belives in the element of surprise
    chuck norris is the reason why waldo is hiding
    chuck norris can burn ants with a magnifing glass............at night
    chuck noriis has counted to infininty.......................twice
    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
    China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.
    http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/
    http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net/
    http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net/
     
  10. RedHead

    RedHead Songster

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    Jan 22, 2009
    East Lake, NC
    Microsoft Works [​IMG]
     

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