The Dave Leghorn Story~ A Murder Mystery of Epically Punny Proportions

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Beekissed said:
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Oh! Oh! Oh! This thread is medicine for the soul! I'm LOVING the story line about chicken nuggets fed to the chicks at school!
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We should all lobby to the mods for a thumbs up capabilities on this forum so that we can send ovations to the really good story lines....you folks deserve some HUGE thumbs up!
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Click to expand...
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We can always do it this way!
 
YNN Update on the school lunches


Professor Hohum Bigcombs, PhB'ock is a leading scientist when it comes to testing meat samples. Dr. Bigcombs is working with students from a local university to test the samples obtained from Hick County schools and will also be completing a DNA analysis to determine the origin the meat. Concern has been raised as to whether or not the food served were previous classmates event though all students have been accounted for. Dr. Bigcombs assured the community, "I'm one of the greatest scientists of all time. I will have answers shortly." Mr. Bigcombs requested that his new book due on shelves this week, "Which Came First, the Chicken or the Egg" be mentioned. He states the book finally provides answers to that question. Yolk News Network notes that Dr. Bigcombs has been nominated for a Nobel Cluck for his research on chicken eggs.

(Pictured: Dr. Hohum Bigcombs with one of his students)


Story Update: Dr. Bigcombs confirms the food served to chicks is indeed chicken nuggets. He continues his work to find the origin of the meat.



YNN Update on school lunches

A teacher chicken strike is imminent, says Ms. Penny Forur-Thoughts. Ms. Forur-Thoughts says teachers have complained about the quality control of lunches fed to the chicks and teachers for six months and things have not improved. "We've gone as high as the school board with our complaints but it's just not changing. Chicks being fed chicken nuggets is insensitive, cruel, and is the last straw," Ms. Forur-Thoughts said. "We can't continue to teach when we know the chicks in class will be worried about lunch or wondering whether or not the lunch provided to them was a previous classmate."
Friday was a half day for chicks while Hick County Independent School District attempts to figure out what has happened.


(Pictured: Ms. Penny Forur-Thoughts (front) and other teacher chickens have had enough, they say)
 
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YNN Update- Raccoon tampering

Authorities are still hoping for a positive identification of the raccoon tampering with school lunches. An amateur photographer unknowingly captured a photo of the raccoon and presented the photo to authorities. Authorities immediately became concerned because of the level of nefariousness in the raccoon's expression. Deputy Marcus DeWitt-Forsure-Ohmidog-Garcia said without a doubt that this is the raccoon they are looking for. "Just look at his face," Deputy DeWitt-Forsure-Ohmidog-Garcia said. "You know he's guilty of something. Please share this photo with the public. We have questions that need answers."


(Pictured: Nefarious Raccoon)
 
It seems that Gladys was not the only one guilty of infidelity. Rumor has it that Tom was seen on more than one occasion cozying up to Ruby Henslay, a young exotic dancer employed at the Coop.

 
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Freddie "fingers" said after his arrest...please take the footcuffs off of me... I am an innocent juvenile... the world had gone mad! Do I look guilty???? I may have been drinking and eating fermented products but I can sometimes stand on my own two feet without help when I have had a few... I did not even know Dave Leghorn.


Tiny Gleetbutt says.....I am in no way related to the horrendous goings on... I am so ashamed that my Gleet name has been associated with the happenings.... my chickies are asking me questions about any wrongdoings I may have been involved in...I am hiding my face from the local press.



The goose protection squad are employed locally to look after the chickens....the chicken guardians are paramount to the wellbeing of those at "Dysfunctional Farm".........
 
The town drunk, Turdbin Mo seems to be thoroughly enjoying the carnage. He always was one very sick humanoid. His possible involvment in the murders could put an interesting twist on things. He is being investigated by Hicks and Boone County authorities. The K-9 unit will be stepping aside in the investigation of Turdbin Mo due to the incident in 2012 where a puppy mill was found at Turdbin Mo's residence along with unidentifiable suspecious carcasses in his freezer. Hicks, Boone and surrounding county residents are cackling with hightened terror with the thought of mentally unstable Turdbin Mo's possible involvment. Residents are urged to keep their coop and kennels locked.
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The Hicks County Prosecutor's Office has announced they have enough evidence to take the Dave Leghorn murder case to trial and that several indictments will be handed down in the case for the following individuals: Tom Wyterock, Gladys Wyterock, Roy "Foghorn" A. Cuff, Frankie Silkpantees, H. Ereford, and possibly B.R. Buzzarde for her role in helping Gladys Wyterock flee the county. Honorable Judge P. Freely will be residing over the case and a jury is being selected. ~United Press



Judge P. Freely, shown here at a local fundraiser in the park, will oversee this convoluted case. Judge Freely has been sitting on the bench in Hicks County for the past 4 yrs. He's been known to be very hard on law breakers and has even been referred to as the Axe Judge of Hicks County. He is anxious to get this case resolved and let the community move on from this crime spree. ~UP
 

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