The Front Porch Swing

[sarahsunshine]

Do you want me to send you my mom? She can fix that. hahahaha

I could fix it fairly well if I could get him to not "hit and run" to his mom's house... I'm done with this kid (for now), but I don't think his mom realizes how much trouble she has to deal with. This has been years in the making, we have tried our best to be consistent, but when she has trained the poor kid to not listen to us, and that she will rescue him whenever he has to deal with consequences (she tells him we don't know how to parent at all so he doesn't have to listen to us), then what can we do? She's also had him memorize the child help line in case we ever hit him (we don't), but somehow he would never think of calling it on her when she slaps him upside the head several times a week because "she would kill him". Heck, the neighbours at her apartment have called the cops on her!

So... what can we do? Well, he has chosen to stay with her instead of move with us, so all we can do is give him the tools... We met with his psychologist and described the situation and our concerns (with him there), so now it's in his boat, and his mom is even more upset at him because he told us what was happening. It could go either way now, he doesn't talk to us anymore (because it could get back to his mom), or he could get some backbone and deal with his mom's abuse, or he could just completely collapse and be a complete mess.... And I don't want to deal with him with the 2 young ones around. I Already have my concerns with the way he "plays" with our 4yo daughter. I can't leave him and her in the same room without an adult around. Heaven forbid I tell his mother that, I would definitely be 'insane, and not know what I'm talking about - just out to get him because I hate him." OY!

Yep, moving day can't come soon enough!

ANd this is the first time I have let that out on a public forum... such a relief!

 

[LindaB220]

I think we share the same kid... except ours has been going 1 week/1 week for the past 7 years, and then since Christmas he is with us every other weekend, except if we piss him off and then he doesn't come over... But we are moving away anyway. I feel rather guilty for feeling relieved (I love him but he is so hard on the little ones who are 1,3,and 4), but also when he comes to visit for a month, and we will be 1500km away, he will have to deal with consequences rather than the "I'm going to get my mm to pick me up if you...". I told him about a month ago ago that I was sick of his attirude (that was a typo but actually rather apt) and if he prefers to be a bully to his siblings and us, and then call his mom when he has to face the music, then he ought to stay at his mom's. He is welcome back to our house when he's ready to follow our rules.

Deleted the entire post.
Sarah, I didn't see your last post. I thought that you would have him one month a year and could train him to be responsible. 1500km is far enough. Maybe later, something can be made of him.......or not. "Mama" has the final say in his raising and may just ruin him. At least you won't be next door watching it. Good luck dear on your move. May you and yours be healthy, happy and productive. Recipe for a good happy life.

 

[Triple Willow]

I don't believe I have ever read a romance novel... but I have looked at the pictures of the men on the covers. ha!

 

[sarahsunshine]

Sarah, this is great. It could be the making of him. What a chance to change someone's life. If it was only a week not much could be accomplished but a month. Fab.

I sure hope so. Something has to break...

 

[Beeps and Peeps]

quote name="Triple Willow" url="/t/850759/the-front-porch-swing/5040_20#post_13217921"]
Ditto! They are my weakness too. lol[/quote]
I am just starting my chicken adventure and went with the safety and egg production of Barred Rocks and RIRs. Loving my "chickie girls", I have already fantasizes about adding EEs and Laced Wyandottes.
BUT, pfft, being responsible and not adding any until I have established my new flock (*whispers* but, what if mine aren't all pullets? wouldn't it be okay to get a couple of EEs this year, after all?).

 

[LindaB220]

I don't believe I have ever read a romance novel... but I have looked at the pictures of the men on the covers. ha!

You have no idea what you've missed. I'm so sorry.

 

[LindaB220]

I sure hope so. Something has to break...

Sorry, I deleted that and added new info.

 

[Triple Willow]

I could fix it fairly well if I could get him to not "hit and run" to his mom's house... I'm done with this kid (for now), but I don't think his mom realizes how much trouble she has to deal with. This has been years in the making, we have tried our best to be consistent, but when she has trained the poor kid to not listen to us, and that she will rescue him whenever he has to deal with consequences (she tells him we don't know how to parent at all so he doesn't have to listen to us), then what can we do? She's also had him memorize the child help line in case we ever hit him (we don't), but somehow he would never think of calling it on her when she slaps him upside the head several times a week because "she would kill him". Heck, the neighbours at her apartment have called the cops on her!


So... what can we do? Well, he has chosen to stay with her instead of move with us, so all we can do is give him the tools... We met with his psychologist and described the situation and our concerns (with him there), so now it's in his boat, and his mom is even more upset at him because he told us what was happening. It could go either way now, he doesn't talk to us anymore (because it could get back to his mom), or he could get some backbone and deal with his mom's abuse, or he could just completely collapse and be a complete mess.... And I don't want to deal with him with the 2 young ones around. I Already have my concerns with the way he "plays" with our 4yo daughter. I can't leave him and her in the same room without an adult around. Heaven forbid I tell his mother that, I would definitely be 'insane, and not know what I'm talking about - just out to get him because I hate him." OY!


Yep, moving day can't come soon enough!


ANd this is the first time I have let that out on a public forum... such a relief!

Dang, you are definitely in a spot. I would probably get in trouble.

This woman I know was taking care of a couple smart mouthed teenage boys and I can't remember what but they did something outrageous. She told them that she was going to whip them and they said they would call the police if she did. She told them that she didn't care and she beat the t-total crap out of them. When she got done they call the police, the police came and asked her if she had whipped them and she said, "Yes I did!!!" and told the police why she did it and she would do it again. The police turned around and left. LOL That would be something my mom would do. hahaha

 

[sarahsunshine]

Deleted the entire post.
Sarah, I didn't see your last post. I thought that you would have him one month a year and could train him to be responsible. 1500km is far enough. Maybe later, something can be made of him.......or not. "Mama" has the final say in his raising and may just ruin him. At least you won't be next door watching it. Good luck dear on your move. May you and yours be healthy, happy and productive. Recipe for a good happy life.

We will have him one month a year, if he will come... I am hoping that Mom will have a paradigm shift when she has to be with him all the time with no relief for that long and will force him to come out for a whole month so she can go cheat on her boyfriend (which wouldn't be the first, or even second time). I am hoping that since the poor kid has a decent roll model in some of his friends that he can survive with only minor problems, and that if he finally realizes that his mom is a manipulative, abusive, lying cheat who is bipolar (I won't get into the details but I am not just the complaining 'new' wife, I can substantiate in great detail every aspect of that with hard evidence), that he might be able to help himself. But I can only hold on to hope and pray for him (as much of a non-praying woman I am) in the hopes that SOMEONE can help him.

 

[Triple Willow]

quote name="Triple Willow" url="/t/850759/the-front-porch-swing/5040_20#post_13217921"]
Ditto! They are my weakness too. lol

I am just starting my chicken adventure and went with the safety and egg production of Barred Rocks and RIRs. Loving my "chickie girls", I have already fantasizes about adding EEs and Laced Wyandottes.
BUT, pfft, being responsible and not adding any until I have established my new flock (*whispers* but, what if mine aren't all pullets? wouldn't it be okay to get a couple of EEs this year, after all?).[/quote]
hahaha So true!