The Front Porch Swing

[Blooie]

Arrghhh.....why didn't I think of that sooner? Lindz, get thee down to a drug store and get some Colodial Oatmeal...I think Aveno makes it! Mix up about a quarter of a packet in a gallon of cool water and soak that hand a few times a day. Um, trust me - it works on ANY itch!

 

[Triple Willow]

LOL Chiggers in the personal region would be bad! I have always been told to put a little fingernail polish over the bump and the little critter will die because he can't breathe.

 

[Beekissed]

Kinda like when we were camping in Tennessee. We had just set up the tent and I had to, well, I ..... oh, YOU figure it out! Anyway, somehow I got into a mess of chiggers. I had chiggers in places nice people don't talk about. By the time we got home (and believe me, we left early!) I couldn't, well, I....oh, YOU figure it out! So my brilliant husband, who always thinks a little humiliation is good for soul unless it's happening to him, dragged me kicking and screaming to the ER and the Naval Hospital on the base in Millington.

After an, um, exam, the first corpsman shook his head and said, "I really don't know." And he left the room with me and my netherlands still hanging out in the breeze, which felt kinda good at that point, truth be told!
In came a more senior corpsman. "I think I know what it is, but I want a doc to take a look at it." Well, I DON'T, thank you very much! And he left the room. Ken was sitting in the corner snickering. There I lay, unable to grab my clothes and get the heck out of there, itching and blushing and fuming all at the same time.
A third corpsman entered the fray - er - the room. 'I understand you may have a rash and some itching you are concerned about. Let me just take a....."
"GET OUT!"
At last, a real doctor - a full fledged ObGyn - opened the curtain. He looked at me - really looked at me, and then said the stupidest thing anyone could say to a woman who not only had itches and burning in strange places but by now was also furious, "Well, young lady, what did you get into?"
"Well, gee, doc. I was out camping and having a wonderful time when I was attacked by a swarm of aliens. I think they are trying to take over the world one **** at a time. Get the CIA in here - call the FBI......might as well, most of the US government has had a good look already!"
The look on his face was priceless. He was absolutely shocked! Ken was trying to crawl into a trash can. Me? I was just itching and fuming and totally humiliated.
After a long pause the doctor rubbed his chin and said, "Looks like a classic case of chiggers to me."
Well, it didn't feel so 'classic' from my end, I'll tell you! He ordered a sitz bath with colloidal oatmeal and cool water. He and Ken stepped out of the room. Alone at last - just me, my chiggers, and a good oatmeal soak. Suddenly that ER cubicle felt like Heaven! Instead of hearing the sounds of a typical Emergency Room, I heard angels singing.....and then I heard the doctor tell Ken, "You can pick up the oatmeal bath at any drug store, and I'll give her an antihistamine and a cream for the itch. The only thing I can't fix is her temperament. I'm afraid that's your problem, son."
Are you kidding me? Are you KIDDING?
Do I need to tell you who I had for a doctor for the first portion of my pregnancy? Ken laughed for 7 months.

 

[Blooie]

LOL Chiggers in the personal region would be bad! I have always been told to put a little fingernail polish over the bump and the little critter will die because he can't breathe.

Gee, that's a thought! I had quite an area to cover, though, and gee, that might have stung a little. But think on the positive side - I could have painted a "thong" before they were all the rage!

 

[LeslieDJoyce]

Chiggers must be southern?

Honestly, I'm not very outdoorsy. At least not for recreational purposes. I work outdoors. When I need to get away from it all and relax, I go inside. Funny ... but I don't know about all the perils of camping.

And

Surprise! I have a fresh chick. I had a clutch under a broody due to hatch earlier this week, but had given up on them and had decided to shuffle the eggs around under the broodies so this one who has been sitting the longest got a partially incubated clutch ... But tonight when we went out to do the shuffling we heard peeping! One super tiny yellow chick in the oldest clutch. So weird.

 

[Beekissed]

You got a broody peep!! How sweet! Congrats, LJ.

 

[Blooie]

Chiggers must be southern?

Honestly, I'm not very outdoorsy. At least not for recreational purposes. I work outdoors. When I need to get away from it all and relax, I go inside. Funny ... but I don't know about all the perils of camping.

And

Surprise! I have a fresh chick. I had a clutch under a broody due to hatch earlier this week, but had given up on them and had decided to shuffle the eggs around under the broodies so this one who has been sitting the longest got a partially incubated clutch ... But tonight when we went out to do the shuffling we heard peeping! One super tiny yellow chick in the oldest clutch. So weird.

Not weird, my friend...it's Easter, time for new life, even when it just doesn't quite seem possible.

 

[LeslieDJoyce]

  You got a broody peep!!  How sweet!  Congrats, LJ. 

Those eggs were incubated so long this should be a duck! It's kinda an Easter Miracle.

 

[Beekissed]

Chiggers must be southern?

They were on Blooie!!!

 

[Blooie]

They were on Blooie!!!

And they were about as far south as you can get, too!