I'm definitely gonna try. Something just made me feel loads better, though. Guess who got a text telling me that we got 2 dozen eggs in two days?
He told me it was so I could work and save money so I'd eventually be able to buy a car and them move out. It was only when I said I was leaving that he got all preachy and told me the true intentions behind his offer. The thing he thought would encourage me to stay in turn only made me want to leave sooner.
I like to watch documentaries and read books on other religions because I like to understand other people's beliefs. Understanding and embracing other people's beliefs, even if they aren't yours, is a great way to being you closer to new cultures. In that house, it just felt they were keeping everyone hidden away from the outside world. It was a bit scary, in hindsight. I'm not trying to make this out to be more than it was, but it was just not right. I was really uncomfortable. Had I known the truth behind my being there, I probably wouldn't have even gone to Austin in the first place.
The difference between everyone failing me and these people failing me is that others will not actively try to trick me into feeling differently. My friends and family, while not perfect, would never purposely try and alter me. These people thought they were helping me but in reality, they were only doing this for themselves. They wanted to tell the story of how they brought the poor Hispanic girl from her small town and turned her into a great designer.
But I did the work. I learned these skills, I paid for college by myself and I am the one who has been putting myself through hell learning these new skills and researching everyday just to be able to run a dang print shop by myself with no extra pay. Did you know I was considered a "manager" but wasn't being paid enough? I was barely making minimum wage.
And don't even preach to me about God right now. I appreciate it but I've had enough of it for an entire week and I don't need it right now. To be honest, hearing about God doesn't help me. I see him everyday and don't need someone to tell me he won't fail me to know he's there. Trust me, my relationship with God is great. That is the same thing these people didn't understand about me. They sought to "fix me" by making me see their way. But you can't teach faith.
A person has to WANT to believe in God to feel that faith. I do believe in God but it wasn't enough for them and as I've found out, it isn't enough for loads of people. But it's enough for me. I am happy, content, pleased as pie with my relationship with him.
Honestly, I wish some people would just understand that and let it go.
