The hubby wants to join the airforce.. -_-
- Thread starter StrawberryHouseMouse
- Start date
Reading more of it, I fourth that!
- Jun 1, 2010
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- 0
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Strawberry House Mouse, you said "I honestly don't know what his reasons are" and I think that is the real problem. You need to talk to him about his feelings and motivations and really listen. As a warning, you may hear some things that you don't want to hear or are not prepared to hear. He may not tell you his real reasons right away, so be prepare to ask smart questions and listen carefully to his answers to follow through and get to the truth.
People suddenly decide to join the military for a number of reasons, but in my opinion when a person reaches this decision without previous interest in the military that person is usually trying to escape from something in his civilian life.
Is he unhappy with his job? Has he recently been passed over for a promotion? Have a number of his friends joined the military? If he trying to compete with a family member or friend who is doing well in the services? Has he always had an interested in the military but you didn't know of his interest? Could he be unhappy in your marriage and be trying to force your hand to initiated conflict? How long have you been married and are your children his children? Could he feel trapped?
I hope I'm not out of line with these questions, but I have a gut feeling that his motivations are very important in this decision. If he enlisted, it is not just a career change for him but also for you, so it is a decision you should try to make together and you can't make decisions together unless you are really talking honestly.
Good Luck!
People suddenly decide to join the military for a number of reasons, but in my opinion when a person reaches this decision without previous interest in the military that person is usually trying to escape from something in his civilian life.
Is he unhappy with his job? Has he recently been passed over for a promotion? Have a number of his friends joined the military? If he trying to compete with a family member or friend who is doing well in the services? Has he always had an interested in the military but you didn't know of his interest? Could he be unhappy in your marriage and be trying to force your hand to initiated conflict? How long have you been married and are your children his children? Could he feel trapped?
I hope I'm not out of line with these questions, but I have a gut feeling that his motivations are very important in this decision. If he enlisted, it is not just a career change for him but also for you, so it is a decision you should try to make together and you can't make decisions together unless you are really talking honestly.
Good Luck!
Strawberry, please be careful about any decisions.
I think your DH has some maturing to do, because I clearly remember the thread where he suddenly converted to Judaism and just as suddenly gave it up. I suspect he is still searching for himself and his goals in life.
I would certainly suggest you both talk with a recruiter (or three), and maybe even some marriage counseling for both of you.
Good luck, hope you can work things out.
I think your DH has some maturing to do, because I clearly remember the thread where he suddenly converted to Judaism and just as suddenly gave it up. I suspect he is still searching for himself and his goals in life.
I would certainly suggest you both talk with a recruiter (or three), and maybe even some marriage counseling for both of you.
Good luck, hope you can work things out.
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Yes lol. He wants to try everything. But never gets very far in it. After he finished high school he started college and didn't know what he wanted to do so he skipped a bunch of classes, failed and never studied then just quit. Then he wanted to work with computers, so I signed him up for classes and he didn't even read the books and quit it faster then he had quit the first trip to college. The only thing he completes is video games.
He actually sounds like he would benefit immensely from joining as long as HE realizes he is going to be told what/when/where/how all the time. It was the direction and discipline I needed. Sometimes being told what to do builds character, he'll learn to be a better listener because he has to be.
Whats wrong, if the intentions are pure, with looking to a future that may be better than he can now provide his family? Selfishness does not belong only to men. Get out of your comfort zone and support him.
BTW the reptile business won't be allowed in base housing and most landlords you'd rent from won't allow them either. The smell is horrible.
I find this quite offensive to me. pretty rude too. she does NOT have to support his decision in this. i can't believe you would call her selfish. why should she support him when he has NEVER talked about this beforehand? Reptiles do not smell either. I have owned many of them. and never had to deal with a stinky occasion.. and yes cats smell way worse as do dogs. I think you need to get your facts straight before jumping the gun.
Yes lol. He wants to try everything. But never gets very far in it. After he finished high school he started college and didn't know what he wanted to do so he skipped a bunch of classes, failed and never studied then just quit. Then he wanted to work with computers, so I signed him up for classes and he didn't even read the books and quit it faster then he had quit the first trip to college. The only thing he completes is video games.
He actually sounds like he would benefit immensely from joining as long as HE realizes he is going to be told what/when/where/how all the time. It was the direction and discipline I needed. Sometimes being told what to do builds character, he'll learn to be a better listener because he has to be.
Whats wrong, if the intentions are pure, with looking to a future that may be better than he can now provide his family? Selfishness does not belong only to men. Get out of your comfort zone and support him.
BTW the reptile business won't be allowed in base housing and most landlords you'd rent from won't allow them either. The smell is horrible.
I find this quite offensive to me. pretty rude too. she does NOT have to support his decision in this. i can't believe you would call her selfish. why should she support him when he has NEVER talked about this beforehand? Reptiles do not smell either. I have owned many of them. and never had to deal with a stinky occasion.. and yes cats smell way worse as do dogs. I think you need to get your facts straight before jumping the gun.
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There you go, explained way better than my bumbling attempt. This really is a life or death decision. This isn't McD's or Burger King. Even if he wasn't married, no kids involved, just himself this would be a huge decision. And given his negative thoughts up to this point, there's definitely some reason for him pulling a 180. Good luck in figuring out what it is.
There you go, explained way better than my bumbling attempt. This really is a life or death decision. This isn't McD's or Burger King. Even if he wasn't married, no kids involved, just himself this would be a huge decision. And given his negative thoughts up to this point, there's definitely some reason for him pulling a 180. Good luck in figuring out what it is.
- Jun 14, 2009
- 1,735
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https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=311319
No much else need be explained.
No much else need be explained.
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OK I am willing to admit I did not read every post in those 23 pages, but do I understand correctly that you were separated from him for a while? If I understood this right and you are back with him, this would be cause to think maybe you shouldn't be. Did you ever get your cabin? If that is where you are living now, you should be able to stay there and let him do what he wants. I do support our military and those who give up their lives for my freedom. However I think there is more to this story and his choice to join. I mean no disrespect here, but I am wondering why you stay with someone that is so unpredictable and has your life and that of your children in constant chaos.
OK I am willing to admit I did not read every post in those 23 pages, but do I understand correctly that you were separated from him for a while? If I understood this right and you are back with him, this would be cause to think maybe you shouldn't be. Did you ever get your cabin? If that is where you are living now, you should be able to stay there and let him do what he wants. I do support our military and those who give up their lives for my freedom. However I think there is more to this story and his choice to join. I mean no disrespect here, but I am wondering why you stay with someone that is so unpredictable and has your life and that of your children in constant chaos.
I think he would flunk the mental stability tests for the Armed Forces. Have you seen a therapist? You, not him. It might make you see things more clearly.
Slinky
Slinky
Well from the eyes of an (Air Force) military spouse and someone who has also has wanted to join the Air Force since I can remember. With his age it is very doubtful he could get in. I know a few 25 year olds that have tried to. Yet I will admit I also did not read every post but the pros of him joining would be while in basic he would get his paycheck, BAH, and separation pay. If you decided to let him go by himself their is a possibility he can possibly live in the dorms until he becomes a staff (E5) (ETA and receive pay and BAH). The benefits are wonderful but they do make it a pain sometimes. The cons are if you take that road you will not be able to see him a lot. There is a possibility in a pay cut for a while. Well I am just going to say there are a lot of cons. Yet I would say like others have is both of you sit with a recruiter see what his chances are. If he is able to and still head strong on joining tell him to enlist for 2 years see how both of you like it. If either one of you like it he can get out. Military experience looks good on a resume as long as he got out on his own. Yet I do wish you the best of luck with your decision especially in this economy that is a big risk to take.
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