The hubby wants to join the airforce.. -_-

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

But I don't want him too. He wants to live on base if he joins and I don't want to live on a base. He seems to be in la la land. He's never spoken of this before so I feel like it's just a spontaneous thing for him. I'm a home-body. I've put a lot of work into my home and I have a home based business. If he joined and we moved to a base I wouldn't be able to continue my current life style and I would loose my home.
I told him all this stuff and he still doesn't understand. He seems to be pitching a fit and is mad at me. What can I do?

 

[Miltonchix]

I think you should support him 200%.
What are his motivations for joining?
Its a steady income with no worry of layoff as long as you do what you're told. Its not for everybody. And the spouse is almost as much in the military. My youngest daughter is finding this out. She couldn't understand that her actions/behavior reflect directly on her husband.
Base housing can suck. Its not yours and you are told what/when/where/how to take care of it. You should still be able to run a LEGAL home business from base housing. Not if it involves chickens though. You don't have to live on base. Its optional, and the housing allowance, from what I'm told now, should pay living expenses as long as you don't try to live above your means.
If he intends to join for job/skills training, pick a career field carefully. Do some research and find which military jobs are hot jobs outside the military. Someone who builds and loads bombs may have a hard time finding a civilian job loading bombs. He can also get a college degree while serving and then continue with G.I. benefits.
It sounds like he's trying to look out for his family.

 

[le neige homme]

Air Force living is pretty cush.

 

[EweSheep]

No you do not have to live on base but Miltonchix says it all.

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

I honestly don't know what his reasons are. He has always been apposed to the war that's going on right now. Never even mentioned wanting to be in the military before. He may be wanting to do it cause he wants to travel. That's the only reason I could come up with. I personally don't want to live on a base. Ive worked hard at the house we have right now to make it both livable and make it "home". My home base business is legal, I'm a reptile breeder. I raise and sell leopard geckos and a few python breeds. It's been a slow start but its finally starting to flow smoothly and I would really hate to give it all up now simply cause he wants to join the air force on a whim.
Frankly I don't even think he would make it past basic training. He's not a tidy person, doesn't like people to tell him what to do (very rebellious) and lazy to a fault. I can handle all these personal issues he has because I love him but I doubt his officer would tolerate it. And he's horribly clumsy and lacks focus. I just don't want him to make any mistakes.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Does he lack focus? Does he often have ideas but never sticks with them? Is he impulsive about other things?

 

[WriterofWords]

He needs to listen to your views. Military marriage is both spouses being enlisted not just one. One is on the front the other is holding the home and family together and it's hard. Been there done that. I was raised by the Army, in the Air Force, married to the Army, now my son is in the Army. If he won't listen to you in person write it out and hand it to him. He has to realize it is not a choice he can make for you, it's his decision to enlist, it's your decision whether or not you are willing to give up what YOU hold dear to you, other than him.

As others have already said, you don't have to live on base, but telling you that is like singing to the choir, you already know it, it's HIM that needs to be told and we don't have access to him. Joining the military isn't a lark, it's a life and it's a hard one right now. Is he worried about supporting the family and thinking that the military is a guaranteed job? Because right now it isn't and the Navy and Air Force are both over staffed in several areas and that means job-loss if they can't be transferred to a new job. Have a calm discussion if you can and weigh the pros and cons together.

He HAS to listen to you or your marriage will never survive being a military marriage.

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

Quote:
Does he lack focus? Does he often have ideas but never sticks with them? Is he impulsive about other things?

Yes lol. He wants to try everything. But never gets very far in it. After he finished high school he started college and didn't know what he wanted to do so he skipped a bunch of classes, failed and never studied then just quit. Then he wanted to work with computers, so I signed him up for classes and he didn't even read the books and quit it faster then he had quit the first trip to college. The only thing he completes is video games.

 

[agnes_day]

i don't see why she should support this 200 percent..give up everything that's important to her just because he got a wild hair up his

 

[MrChicken207]

The only thing with joining the military right now is that they are 6 to 12 months out from shipping out. That's from when you sign the enlistment papers, not from when you show up and start asking questions of a recruiter. This is true for all branches. They might be able to speed things up if the recruit currently has a specific skill that is in need. For the most part those are medic and clergy, but not entry level type skills, I'm talking ordained ministers and registered nurses/medics/doctors. Pretty much everyone else has to wait. A recruiter might say otherwise, but I know better because where I work, we help our students with looking for work/college/military, and we work closely with recruiters. They're pretty candid with us because they know that our success (and ultimately our jobs themselves) relies on our students finding employment. Our organization also has a former recruiting commander (now retired army) who has his connections and the same thing is told through that. Hope this at least gives you more things to think of.

Basically this, at least 6 months before he ships out, then when he's at basic training, and possibly AIT, you're still at home. look at 2 to 3 months for basic, and then who knows how long for AIT (it depends on what he's doing, it could be up to a year). You could be looking at 2 years before you have to move.