Ok, my inlaws.... arghhhhh
.
I guess I should start by saying that two years ago I had an issue with my mother in law and her lifestyles effect on my family. I brought the issue up and my husband and mother in law continued only began hiding from me what they were up to.
She would come by the house weekly back then. Next the sneaky behavior started it went over like a sack of potatos. I am not big on being lied to and I completely went off the chart with my anger. (I WAS PREGNANT at the time) I informed my mother in law that if she could not stop involving my husband in her "problem" I did not want her there for the birth of my child. The only leverage I thought I had at the time
Needless to say you can not change someone and it did not help in the least. It just drove the spike in our relationship deeper. One day after months and months possibly a year I walked in on a conversation my husband was having with his mom on the phone. He was telling her he did not want to be involved anymore!!! I was so happy and shocked.
Since then she has stopped coming over completely. She has never once asked to keep my daughter and shows no interest in knowing her at all. It is ok, she has plenty family who just go nuts over her. She used to come by like clock work.
So today my husband comes home and says "Want to go out to eat with my parents?" I had eaten at 2:30 and it was 5:00. I said "no". Wow... he went off on me. Yelling stuff like you need to be nice to my parents blah blah yell yell. I mean, did not ask if I was hungry, and frankly if it was just us I would have still said no because I wasn't hungry.
At this point I am hurt and angry because since this one issue with his mother (Which I was protecting my family and in the right) I can not do anything right. He acts like I treat his family bad.
Every time I see them I hug them, tell em I love em, and am friendly. I mean I compliment his mom, and just do my best to make them know I want to be part of the family. BUT... I will always be accused of being mean to them (which the only family member I ever had a problem with is mom).
When will I live down the fact that I stood my ground on something that was wrong in the first place. How much nicer do I have to be to these people... do I need to kiss their feet to have my husband stop thinking I am so awful?
Maybe my husband just can't stand me since I stood up to his dear momma. I love her but she is messed up.
Oh I forgot to mention that she is one of those passive agressive types, Boxed up wrapped seperatly around 10 packages of maxi pads for my baby shower. Never got a stich of clothing for my daughter that doesn't say on it Daddy's girl. Oh there is alot but frankly I just smile right through it, "oh thank you what a cute outfit... Awwww daddys girl!!
". I held up each package of maxipads for a photo at the shower.
I refuse to sink to her level.
So I am nice and will continue to be nice to her... and I do not expect my husband to understand how hard I try to overlook the issues and remember that no-one is perfect including me.
SO.... I doubt you understood my rambling rant. I wish I understood.
I guess I should start by saying that two years ago I had an issue with my mother in law and her lifestyles effect on my family. I brought the issue up and my husband and mother in law continued only began hiding from me what they were up to.
She would come by the house weekly back then. Next the sneaky behavior started it went over like a sack of potatos. I am not big on being lied to and I completely went off the chart with my anger. (I WAS PREGNANT at the time) I informed my mother in law that if she could not stop involving my husband in her "problem" I did not want her there for the birth of my child. The only leverage I thought I had at the time
Needless to say you can not change someone and it did not help in the least. It just drove the spike in our relationship deeper. One day after months and months possibly a year I walked in on a conversation my husband was having with his mom on the phone. He was telling her he did not want to be involved anymore!!! I was so happy and shocked.
Since then she has stopped coming over completely. She has never once asked to keep my daughter and shows no interest in knowing her at all. It is ok, she has plenty family who just go nuts over her. She used to come by like clock work.
So today my husband comes home and says "Want to go out to eat with my parents?" I had eaten at 2:30 and it was 5:00. I said "no". Wow... he went off on me. Yelling stuff like you need to be nice to my parents blah blah yell yell. I mean, did not ask if I was hungry, and frankly if it was just us I would have still said no because I wasn't hungry.
At this point I am hurt and angry because since this one issue with his mother (Which I was protecting my family and in the right) I can not do anything right. He acts like I treat his family bad.
Every time I see them I hug them, tell em I love em, and am friendly. I mean I compliment his mom, and just do my best to make them know I want to be part of the family. BUT... I will always be accused of being mean to them (which the only family member I ever had a problem with is mom).
When will I live down the fact that I stood my ground on something that was wrong in the first place. How much nicer do I have to be to these people... do I need to kiss their feet to have my husband stop thinking I am so awful?
Maybe my husband just can't stand me since I stood up to his dear momma. I love her but she is messed up.
Oh I forgot to mention that she is one of those passive agressive types, Boxed up wrapped seperatly around 10 packages of maxi pads for my baby shower. Never got a stich of clothing for my daughter that doesn't say on it Daddy's girl. Oh there is alot but frankly I just smile right through it, "oh thank you what a cute outfit... Awwww daddys girl!!
So I am nice and will continue to be nice to her... and I do not expect my husband to understand how hard I try to overlook the issues and remember that no-one is perfect including me.
SO.... I doubt you understood my rambling rant. I wish I understood.
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