The Inlaws. Grrrr :(

[redhen]

Quote:
WAIT! Oh no way, sweetie! Why do you tolerate that behavior from him? Why??

I'm so sorry that hes so mean to you...

 

[Eliza]

Mom sounds like she has a personality disorder - and as such enjoys chaos. Sounds like your DH and his family have grown up with this chaos and don't know any differently. Don't get caught up in the details. DH's "going off" on you only indicates that he expected you to say "no" and had a monologue all set and ready to go. The behavior of not sleeping with you and not speaking to you is a form of passive aggressive control. Don't buy into it. Set some strong boundaries make them with "I" statements: such as I felt set up when you asked about eating with parents. It is the nature of passive aggressive, black and white thinkers to make the victim feel the need to make the first move. Don't be sucked in. His choice to stay out of the bedroom. I'd play at his game by being an adult and making that nothing is wrong. He needs to separate from mom and be a husband FIRST and then a son. I would suggest you go for counseling to help you plan how you want the rest of your marriage to be. Don't forget, you have daughter now who deserves two parents who are on the same page. Good luck.

 

[Kelly G]

Color me a jerk and in-human, but I do not miss my MIL. Not even for a fleeting moment.

 

[FortWorthChicks]

So...

this morning I woke up and was the peace-maker who cooked him breakfast and just went on with my day. I figure this is my life and I did not want to spend today dealing with his avoiding and not speaking to me.

Sometimes I just decide that reguardless of the situation at hand (Almost always concerning MIL) to pretend nothing ever happened. Probably not so healthy but in a way I think it is.

I just go on, water under the bridge. My husband is more stubborn than I am. That says alot. Since I know this, it is better for me to just move on and not dwell.

I guess what I want to say is thank you all for your advise and support.

It helped alot just talking about it.

Oh and.... seriously yall. Was that not a great baby shower picture.

 

[agnes_day]

it was priceless!

best picture, hands down. you should submit it to awkward family photos.com

 

[jeaucamom]

It is impossible to have a mature (i.e. marriage) relationship with a child. If you decide to stay and make the best of it, it will help you to be realistic about your expectations. He will not likely ever grow up. He will not likely ever defend you against His mother. If you can make peace with that, then you are doing yourself a huge favor. The stress comes from wanting something that is almost certainly never going to happen. Miracles happen, but dont base the outcome of your marriage on it. Life is too short. Set your boundaries on what you will and will not put up with in regards to MIL and stand by what you say. What he does with it and how he reacts is his problem and his consequences.

The irony of it is, that he will respect you for it more.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Realize that you, and your relationship with your husband are examples to your daughter.

 

[Keg]

FortWorthChicks, I feel for you. I've not experienced anything of this nature myself, but I can imagine how overwhelming it could be to "take stock" of your situation during these low times, feeling so hopeless.

I'll pray for you along with the other(s?) who have said so in this thread. Eliza gave some very good advice. While I don't think over-analysing and jumping to conclusions is at all wise, I don't think Eliza has done that.

If the opportunity arises to do so sensitively and privately, it's probably worth telling your husband how you feel, keeping the foremost goal in your mind - your loving relationship with your husband. Don't let yourself be taken over by anger or frustration. Don't take this as me judging you - I've never been in your situation - I can just imagine how I would react.


And yes - hilarious picture! Good on you for seeing the lighter side in what may (or may not) have been a bit of a stab at you.



Chris

 

[FortWorthChicks]

Great advise, Thanks yall.

My marriage is very important to me. I love my husband, (I know this thread has painted him as a bad guy) really he is just a big mommas boy.

While he will jump to her defense quickly, he would also jump to my defense quickly.

His mom has not always been this way either. She was married young and taking care of a family and has been going through a midlife crisis for a few years now.

Why I make excuses for other people.... well it helps me to forgive them.

 

[FortWorthChicks]

Quote:
WAIT! Oh no way, sweetie! Why do you tolerate that behavior from him? Why??

I'm so sorry that hes so mean to you...

Redhen if I had read your post before I made him breakfast I sure would have ignored him a couple more days. lol. It just makes the household miserable though so I take it like a fool.