Thanks jeauca. I didn't feel too awesome at the time. Yes, fear, desperation, rage at myself. That was 15 years ago, and I thought I could talk about it calmly, but didn't do so well with the post this morning. There is nothing in my life that has traumatized me as much as that experience. It was the subject of most of my kids' school essays for years as they tried to work through it. It really did open my eyes to the gift of each day.