The "long" jokes thread

[lvchicken]

Post your weird and fun "long" jokes here!

I'll start:

Jimmy's math teacher said: "If you have one dollar, and your father gives you another dollar, how many would you have?"
"One," said Jimmy.
"You don't know your math."
"You don't know my father."

Now I want to hear YOUR "long" jokes! I'm in the mood for a good laugh

 

[OwlLover]

A circle and a cone are having an argument. What did the triangle say to defend the cone?
"You know, circle, he's got a point."

 

[lvchicken]

More!

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them and the beech says to the birch:

"Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The birch says she cannot tell. They argue all afternoon whether it is a son of a birch or a son of a beech.

Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says:

"Hey Woody, you're a tree expert. Can you end this argument and tell us if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies:

"That is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker into."

Wipe that smile off your face.​

 

[Chickenrandomness]

Quote:
Wipe that smile off your face.

uhhhhhhhhhhh, no offence, but are you sure thats appropriate?

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

I don't know if it is or isn't I just thought it was funny.

 

[Fierlin1182]

I don't see any bad words, although I get the meaning behind it

 

[luvinmychickens]

ray's two cents :

I don't see any bad words, although I get the meaning behind it

x2. If the mods think it's inappropriate, they'll take it off. We don't need to discuss it.

 

[Tashi]

Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini?

A: Four: Two in front, two in back

Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?

A: None. It’s full of elephants.

Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini?

A: Along the M4 and and across the Severn Bridge.

Q: How do you know when there are two elephants in your refrigerator?

A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

Q: How do you know when there are three elephants in your refrigerator?

A: When you can’t close the door.

Q: How do you know when there are four elephants in your refrigerator?

A: When there is a Mini parked outside.

 

[magistradomina]

Haha!