The Moonshiner and friend's stories, legends and tall tales.

[Kiki]

How far did you get before figuring it out?

The last darn line!

 

[The Moonshiner]

We were getting calls weekly from one farm or another. Telling me "my hens are feeling the need for Randy to stop by" or "our girls are needing some Randy time". Soon it was just shortened to "feeling Randy" and a new expression was born. His name even made the dictionary.
Randy continued burning the candle at both ends for many many more seasons. Putting out more and more chicks. If you have any RIRs, production hens, sex links or even mixes breeds I'd say its safe to say your flock has some Randy in it.
One day in the early fall I was down south delivering some chicks. A wagon was happening by when it broke an axle. In a strange twist of fate it was loaded with 1,000 laying hens. Of course Randy invited them into the barnyard and began doing what he did best. Now Randy was the king of reproduction but it was too many hens even for him.
As I made my way down the drive I saw a horrible site. Buzzards circling around down by the barn. With a sinking feeling I rounded the house and there he was.
I jjumped down and ran towards him.
Poor Randy laying flat on his back in a pool of sweat. I wasn't ready for this day. My best ever rooster, a dear friend, gone. Gone too early. Such a fool. He should of known better. No rooster could handle that many hens. What was he thinking. I fell to my knees and as I went to pick him up......
I couldn't believe it. An eye popped open as I heard him whisper as he pointed towards the buzzards.
Shhhhhh I think they're about to land.


rand·y
ˈrandē/

adjective
1. sexually aroused, excited Or lustful

 

[Kiki]

 

[BantyChooks]

I'll change the names to protect the innocent.

But anyways a while back I took over a very small business. I work with a crew of 4 people including myself and we travel together for work.
I got 2 employees when I took over. The "stoner" which I'll save for last and we'll call the other "brains".
Brains is the brains of the operation. Truly one of the smartest people I've ever met. Shes very average in everything else. Not like the cute girl next door type but the very average girl next door type.
Average height average build, average looks. Brown hair brown eyes. Glasses.
I never hear of any excitement going on in her life unless its some science stuff. That's what she is especially into. Really the only thing outside of work that I know she's interested in. I'm not even sure if she's into guys or maybe girls even.

Then there's "body". I hired body just because we need a 4th and she is easy on the eyes. I mean beautiful. Long hair, great body. Shows a lot of leg. Did I mention she was cute? Of course I try to work closest with her every chance I get. The down side though is she is dumb as a box of hammers. I mean like I'm surprised she can remember to breath dumb. She spends much of her day worrying about her hair and flirting with me. And I have to lead the crew, do my work and hers half the time.
Ok now the stoner. He is like a throw back to the 70s stoner and proud of it. He brings his dog to work and I swear every time I turn my back he is sneaking off somewhere. I don't know if he has smoked himself into a permanent high or if he just smokes like 27 times a day. I swear his big *ss dog gets high too. Every time we pass a McDonalds or burger king he's wanting to stop and eat. He's always starving and apparently so is the dog cause it will start bellowing and howling. Idk if maybe its because when you're around him he even makes you start feeling like your high or what but the damn dog starts sounding like its talking. But anways you have to stop so they'll shut up. So he's eating two or three times a day sneaking off four or five times a day and getting about nothing down. Luckily he usually pulls it together towards the end of the day enough to get the job done.
So that's the crew I work with so now I'll tell you what we do for a living.
We drive around the country in my van and solve mysteries.

Hilarious. Thank you for starting this thread.

 

[Kiki]

Where is the team going for the next adventure?
Perhaps going to see the eclipse?

 

[The Moonshiner]

So I stop by a small feed store swap yesterday and while looking around I have a conversation with a lady that has had chickens for over 40 years but is now getting out of them for good.
She mentioned the reason was predators. We have a ton of predators out my way so I start asking her what predators she's dealing with. She says she to has dealt with them all but this is a new predator. The worst. They are protected by law and they can get around every type of defense you can throw at them. I was very curious.
Started with few eggs taken then almost all eggs taken then it progressed to hens missing. She said there was no damage to coop it was like then just opened the door and took what they wanted. She installed a camera and caught the predator in the act.
It was homeless people that had a camp in the area. Even with proof police couldn't do much. It wasn't a huge crime or a huge concern to them and they said the homeless moved in and out so often that it would be impossible to catch the ones responsible or to keep them in the area long enough to prosecute them.
She said they climbed her fence then got into the coops while she was away during the day. When she started putting locks on the coops they would then break the coops to get in.
Of course shot guns or electricity was illegal. She thought about a dog but didn't want to add one to her home at this time and figured they would get rid of it, let it loose or worse so probably wouldn't help any way.
Crazy true story and proves you can always learn something new

 

[The Moonshiner]

Random info. for the day.....

Did you know 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy?

 

[The Moonshiner]

Scooby snacks for the crew?

How far did you get before figuring it out?

 

[BantyChooks]

The last darn line!

X2

 

[The Moonshiner]

I'm a blonde..if that helps explain anything!

That's no excuse. I'm a blonde too. Or does that only count for women?