kdogg, you have OCD, this cannot be treated by YOU. You need a psychiatric professional. No offense, no shame involved. My father was intensely OCD. My brother is partially OCD and wouldn't see a psychiatrist if it were free. I have just enough OCD so that if I start a project I WILL FINISH IT, then move on to something else.
I don't start a dozen things and finish none. I know you are an adult. But, you need help setting limits. First you need the cell phone locked up for at least a week, so you discover YES you can live without.
I have a cell phone I was given last December. I hate phones. I have a perfectly good landline for making dr. appts. whatever.
I don't want a phone so people can reach me any time night and day wherever I am. My cell phone does not leave the house. My son(who paid for it) my brother who has it on his cell phone'whatever user account' got to add my phone for $ 10. a month. I'd rather have the $ 10 a month and not have the phone. They insist on calling me on the cell phone so I will use it.
It's a pain in the neck. It has to be recharged every evening even though I don't use it.
The only thing I use it for is to listen to a few favorite songs my son put on there for me.
It's not a daily event. I don't have various systems to listen to music so this is quite enough.
If I want to reach out and touch someone, I do it in person. If I can't reach that far, they consider themselves blessed.
Thanks, I’m sure you’re probably right there, it’s just some of the habits or compulsions or whatever I feel like I could at least stop or control somewhat. I’m fine if I’m never totally cured or if I still need professional help for it, especially since I’m going to get some anyway for the various other issues, but I didn’t used to have so many, so I feel like I should at least be able to stop some of the physical stuff.
As for the project thing, I totally get that but I actually do finish stuff. In fact, I’m a bit of a perfectionist about it and can never do anything half ass and have to finish it and do it right once I start it. So no problems there. Usually.* It’s just I take a while getting started. My problem is with actually starting the projects, not with finishing them. I have a million things I want to do, true, but they’re not done because I don’t finish them, they’re not done because I never start them.
But I’ve always had that issue even before I had a phone. In elementary school, I used to spend forever searching for my pencil and not starting the class work and they told my parents about it several times. Or sometimes it was cause I didn’t do the HW and pretended to look for it. Idk why but I would look and look instead of asking someone for one.
And later on people would say I was ADD or whatever but I honestly don’t think I am because once I start something, I don’t stop for anything. I’m not easily distracted really. I just take forever to get started.
But I guess I am a little bit ADD because in conversation and stuff I can be random and get distracted or forget what I was saying. But in terms of actual work, I won’t and it has to be perfect. Even if it’s like midnight or 3am and I’m finishing a research paper or some essay that I put off because of procrastination, I can’t just do a terrible job on it or pick some stupid topic or do minimum research. I have to do it full throttle and stay up all night. It sucks sometimes but I guess it’s good. Idk.
But yeah.
I usually always try to finish stuff.
But I definitely need help starting stuff ha
But I think that problem has simply been made far worse by the phone. It’s way easier to waste time or procrastinate now.
But once I actually get up and get outside or get started on something, don’t get in my way haha
Even just the past few weeks there’s been a few examples...
Went out one day just to check for eggs, was trying to do one simple task and get outside, you know? I ended up weeding the entire garden. Even that was because I saw one weed while going out and was gonna just pull that one weed out from that one section and continue with the egg collecting but then I couldn’t just leave all the other weeds. I had to stop because I was being eaten by mosquitoes because it took me like two hours but I continued the next day. Wasn’t going to because it was super hot but decided to just finish it.
Another time a while ago I wanted to just refresh some shavings or something in the coop and ended up just cleaning out the entire coop.
Even last week before we left for our trip to NH, I was taking care of the animals before we left (procrastination again... save everything for the day we leave. Every time.
) and I could have just done a quick check and let it at that but I did way more than necessary and got us stuck in traffic cause I took so long. Haha the fish tank was half empty and filter gross. They probably would have survived a few days and been fine with just me tossing some food in there or maybe me replacing the filter until I got back since they had been so long before that but noooo. I had to change the filter and fill the entire tank up again which took a while because I had to fill some gallon jugs and do it manually. Many trips down the hall to the tub and back. Could have even just filled it partially, added a little fresh water. Nope. Filled the entire thing.
The chicken’s water bucket was pretty gross cause I had let some algae build up instead of wiping it regularly.
could have just stuck the hose in and refilled it and cleaned it when I got back. Nope, dumped it and scrubbed the entire bucket inside AND outside and lid and then refilled. Outside was of course absolutely not necessary but I was on a roll. Even refilled oyster shell and grit even though they had plenty and added a second food bowl and a water bowl in case the bucket failed. Btw, my dad was home the entire weekend until yesterday, the day we got back, so they probably would have been fine, and I think my dad even checked them and refilled stuff while we were gone, but I still had to make sure everything was perfect and do way more than necessary before leaving.
And now I am checking and wiping the bucket regularly. I normally do but had let it get away from me. So did it all right before we left.
I need to work on time management and planning I guess. I have horrible time management haha I will admit that.
As for phones, I actually hate actually talking on the phone, but am mostly addicted to the internet/social media part. But working on that.
We still have a landline too even though everyone has and uses their cellphones. But my mom likes having one. I think she prefers it too. Her parents and family also still call her on it. She prefers talking on there but will talk on either. When out, she does use the cell phone. But she likes to keep the landline for her mother to call. But besides her family, we mostly only ever get spam calls on it. Everyone else calls or texts our cellphones nowadays. So kinda stupid paying for it I guess but it’s part of the bundle thing we save and I think have to have it. But we do like having it. Or my mom does.
And mine has to be charged every night too and I use it a ton, surprised yours does so often.
And yeah, I need to work on getting in touch with my in person friends more often haha I can’t just go visit them or whatever though cause I don’t even know where most of them live anymore but I do sometimes call or text. I think occasionally doing that would be okay but not being on it as often as I am.
Anyway, sorry, there I go rambling on again.
PS find something else to occupy your time. You seem to have a lot of time to yourself.
Why not try being a "greeter" on the new members forum? You just welcome folks you don't have to tell them the story of your life. Then move on to another person etc. Bingo you could end up with a "greeter" badge etc.
I’ve thought about that but I don’t know if I could keep up and I’d feel bad if I missed someone. But I might. Idk. I think I prefer real conversations though but idk. I might at least try it. Better than just aimlessly scrolling/hitting random buttons and apps on my phone haha
I think what I might do instead though is just put the phone down totally rather than just switch what I do on it and then finally work on actually getting licensed and insured so I can start taking on more dog walking/pet sitting clients and really get the business actually started. And/or work on getting certified as a dog trainer too. Not sure which one I want to do first. Getting the insurance is probably an easier, simpler, shorter process, so might start there first and dog sit while I get the trainer certification.
But I might also start with finding an actual real job first so I can have more money to start the business and/or to move out.
I have a decent amount saved already from the current clients as well as saving every birthday, holiday, graduation, etc. check but it would go a lot faster if I was making more money ha
Or maybe getting off the phone would give me more time to spend with the animals and in the garden.
Beer Can it's not just spell check. Lots of folks(me included) intentionally write "CARP," because it sounds much nicer than "CRAP." BYC is supposed to be family friendly. I know what Carp really means and so do others. But it doesn't hurt to be a fish instead of a not nice word. Anyway that's how I see it.
That’s a good point. I like that.
I have to stop myself in just this way when I go to bed. There’s something about the internet. It always seems something great is right around the corner.
And you’re right! It’s nothing to stay up hours for!
That’s my problem, every time I want to go to bed, I always find something else interesting to do. Sometimes it’s talking on here or Twitter, sometimes it’s reading or watching yet another dog training article or video or whatever other topic, researching something else in crazy detail, etc.
@KDOGG331 - I appreciate that you’re trying to work through these struggles in your life, and like to hang out with us Old Folks who love to give advice!
We’ve all had struggles, and continue to. You are clearly smart and funny, and I expect you’re going to take the steps you need to get past this stuff. And we will cheer you on, even though it will mean we will see less of you!
Thank you, I really appreciate this. You are very kind.
CARP means CRAP, Well CARP!
I have to admit being PC as far as colorful language is concerned is a challenge for me. I never said a curse word or used colorful language until I started working in the big rehab facility/nursing home that I worked in back in IL. Then I learned to swear like a Marine Drill Sargent. It was that or pop a major blood vessel and become an inmate instead of one of the keepers.
I have a hard time not swearing too haha
