The Old Folks Home

[drumstick diva]

tnspursfan09 I suffered from agoraphobia(and other phobias) from the time I was child and not diagnosed till I was in my mid 30's. After 3 mos. of talk therapy(weekly) I finally started going into stores alone- tho I was driven there. I also started going to the local show . But I had to sit in the row closet to the door so I knew I could escape if I had too. That wasn't even the point of my therapy but, just talking to the doctor made a lot of bad things sound not so bad. He wasn't thrilled that my cure sent on a shopping spree. But you take what you get.

I discovered my mother had agoraphobia too but, she had all kinds of excuses rather than admit it. There were also panic attacks involved, my sister and both her daughters - mother and I experienced them too. I cannot recall my mom's parents suffering from any of those. Needless to say I missed out on an ordinary childhood and lacking greatly in social skills. I often wonder what my life would have been like, if I had been outgoing like my siblings. I would not even go out with good school friends and blamed my mother instead. I'd continually tell them "my mom won't let me." so I didn't have to face torture eating at their house, or sleeping over, or any other social activity.

Now and then my elementary friends would come to my house and literally take me with them. I have to confess I usually had a very good time once they did. But I'd go back home and relapse. My room was my safe place except for when my father would bellow "Come out of there before I kill you," which prompted me to push the dresser against the door and cower. Every time he used a screwdriver to pop the lock button on my door, I would push it down again. He couldn't figure that out and eventually would give up.

Fast forward, nowadays I even line up for those "first 100 people in line," deals. I just taught myself to get there real, real early. I'd usually be the first or second person in line, and just NEVER looked behind me - at the fast growing mob. It really worked for me. You'll find ways to cope with things over time as well. I also discovered going places with a "safe" person was tolerable. By safe, I mean someone I trusted NOT to thrust me into intense situations where I would fail.

Please feel free to pm me if you would ever like to talk about anything.

 

[Arielle]

I will have to look it up to give you the researchers name but here is a study that made me rething my standard american diet.

THe study model was a dog. Low dose of Insulin was injected in one leg artery. and Saline injected into the other leg artery. THen the arteries were looked at and compared. THe saline artery was clean and normal; the other artery was well on its way to becoming arthroschlerotic.

I woke up and smelled the roses. I started changing my diet.I lived for cakes cookies, breads and more. I gave up the traditional foods for low carb substitutes. My cholesterol dropped ( 190 to 170) and my weight dropped with some effort. Still have more to do to reach my goals. DOctors focus on weight-- but IMO the blood chemistry tells the story. TOo many thin people die of heart attacks to convince me that being thin is the only answer.

PS. Made it home from Dana-Farber about 7pm. Makes for a long day to cope with the crazy city traffic. I can't imagine those that do that drive everyday--THe easy pass lines were LOOOOOONNNNNG, I went right thru much quicker using the cash only line-- which had no line at all. lol

 

[Arielle]

tnspursfan09 I suffered from agoraphobia(and other phobias) from the time I was child and not diagnosed till I was in my mid 30's. After 3 mos. of talk therapy(weekly) I finally started going into stores alone- tho I was driven there. I also started going to the local show . But I had to sit in the row closet to the door so I knew I could escape if I had too. That wasn't even the point of my therapy but, just talking to the doctor made a lot of bad things sound not so bad. He wasn't thrilled that my cure sent on a shopping spree. But you take what you get.

I discovered my mother had agoraphobia too but, she had all kinds of excuses rather than admit it. There were also panic attacks involved, my sister and both her daughters - mother and I experienced them too. I cannot recall my mom's parents suffering from any of those. Needless to say I missed out on an ordinary childhood and lacking greatly in social skills. I often wonder what my life would have been like, if I had been outgoing like my siblings. I would not even go out with good school friends and blamed my mother instead. I'd continually tell them "my mom won't let me." so I didn't have to face torture eating at their house, or sleeping over, or any other social activity.

Now and then my elementary friends would come to my house and literally take me with them. I have to confess I usually had a very good time once they did. But I'd go back home and relapse. My room was my safe place except for when my father would bellow "Come out of there before I kill you," which prompted me to push the dresser against the door and cower. Every time he used a screwdriver to pop the lock button on my door, I would push it down again. He couldn't figure that out and eventually would give up.

Fast forward, nowadays I even line up for those "first 100 people in line," deals. I just taught myself to get there real, real early. I'd usually be the first or second person in line, and just NEVER looked behind me - at the fast growing mob. It really worked for me. You'll find ways to cope with things over time as well. I also discovered going places with a "safe" person was tolerable. By safe, I mean someone I trusted NOT to thrust me into intense situations where I would fail.

Please feel free to pm me if you would ever like to talk about anything.

((hugs)) I wish we could all skip childhood . . . . kudos to you for having the gumption to protect yourself. . . . when my oldest was very young, I let him hide behind me, Goodness I was wide enough he must have felt totally hidden!! lol I guarded him and let him be because I sure remembered being ridiculed for hiding behind my mother and swore I would never do that to him. He would come out when he was a little more sure of the situation. In the long run IMO he has a better self image but still struggles. THe key is to not throw too many new places or people at him at once. So I"m glad that you had a few friends to drag you out and have a good time. ANd I know I would never mind if my kids blamed me as the excuse . . . Maybe your mom didn't mind either.

 

[Arielle]

Great information Oz and thank you for posting it.

I am worried though because the heart attack symptoms in women are what I am dealing with in my early stages of menopause. (Especially the lack of sleep and now being very tired)

Menopause is not fun-- I found I could mitigate some of the sleep issues by changing my diet. Have you read Dr Christiane Northups book? I found it cathartic to know in other cultures older women could have differnt hours than the young women. Made sense to me when I read it . However, we are expected to maintain the sameness all thru our lives. Add to the stress I think. I went low carb and sleep like a rock. I also don't drink, don't drink milk before bed or other sweet, and skip the caffine beverage before bed. Yah-- I"m boring. lol

 

[tnspursfan09]

tnspursfan09 I suffered from agoraphobia(and other phobias) from the time I was child and not diagnosed till I was in my mid 30's. After 3 mos. of talk therapy(weekly) I finally started going into stores alone- tho I was driven there. I also started going to the local show . But I had to sit in the row closet to the door so I knew I could escape if I had too. That wasn't even the point of my therapy but, just talking to the doctor made a lot of bad things sound not so bad. He wasn't thrilled that my cure sent on a shopping spree. But you take what you get.

I discovered my mother had agoraphobia too but, she had all kinds of excuses rather than admit it. There were also panic attacks involved, my sister and both her daughters - mother and I experienced them too. I cannot recall my mom's parents suffering from any of those. Needless to say I missed out on an ordinary childhood and lacking greatly in social skills. I often wonder what my life would have been like, if I had been outgoing like my siblings. I would not even go out with good school friends and blamed my mother instead. I'd continually tell them "my mom won't let me." so I didn't have to face torture eating at their house, or sleeping over, or any other social activity.

Now and then my elementary friends would come to my house and literally take me with them. I have to confess I usually had a very good time once they did. But I'd go back home and relapse. My room was my safe place except for when my father would bellow "Come out of there before I kill you," which prompted me to push the dresser against the door and cower. Every time he used a screwdriver to pop the lock button on my door, I would push it down again. He couldn't figure that out and eventually would give up.

Fast forward, nowadays I even line up for those "first 100 people in line," deals. I just taught myself to get there real, real early. I'd usually be the first or second person in line, and just NEVER looked behind me - at the fast growing mob. It really worked for me. You'll find ways to cope with things over time as well. I also discovered going places with a "safe" person was tolerable. By safe, I mean someone I trusted NOT to thrust me into intense situations where I would fail.

Please feel free to pm me if you would ever like to talk about anything.

Bipolar disorder runs rampant in my family, so I actually had a great support system growing up...like calls to like and we each knew what the other was going through, so to speak. Lots of creativity there as well...some are artists, some writers, most of us on the fringe, though because we don't play well with others. I was bullied mercilessly in jr. high and high school. I was so awkward socially. The internet was a wonderful gift to me. It gave me a voice and a way to communicate with people without actually being near them...being touched by strangers is a big phobia...makes it feel like my skin wants to crawl off my body. Panic attacks Oh yeah. I know 'bout those, though I haven't had one in quite a while. I try to avoid putting myself into situations that would over stimulate. With Maddy it's harder to accept the way I am. I want to go plces with her and show her things. I want to go to the zoo and stuff ike that. She makes me feel braver.

 

[drumstick diva]

Me too, I hate being touched by strangers - I've cut my own hair most of my life because I hated having someone work on me unless they were a close friend . In the 70's I had two friends that were dog groomers (no joke) who were pretty good with human hair.

Clinical depression is in my family,& my mom's youngest brother was drummed out of the navy because of "nervous disorders,"

. My father had severe problems with anger, as a kid he was bullied a lot. Then later became a bully himself. He was in the army, WW2 & Korea , turned him into something worse
.
I got braver when my son came along - at 40 I actually went sledding with him, down a minor hill. It was exhilarating to me. I didn't want him to miss things I did from being so fearful. It's funny my son was very shy. When my mom had a party, I was hiding in my room- still. But he loved the attention. He also was ring bearer at my niece's wedding. Yet, when he came home he was back to very shy again. In high school his friends would come and get him - similar to my life, otherwise he wouldn't go.

He's a great kid - well 28, and I'm very proud of the way he matured. I think going away to college was the best thing he ever did.

 

[tnspursfan09]

Me too, I hate being touched by strangers - I've cut my own hair most of my life because I hated having someone work on me unless they were a close friend . In the 70's I had two friends that were dog groomers (no joke) who were pretty good with human hair.

Clinical depression is in my family,& my mom's youngest brother was drummed out of the navy because of "nervous disorders,"

. My father had severe problems with anger, as a kid he was bullied a lot. Then later became a bully himself. He was in the army, WW2 & Korea , turned him into something worse
.
I got braver when my son came along - at 40 I actually went sledding with him, down a minor hill. It was exhilarating to me. I didn't want him to miss things I did from being so fearful. It's funny my son was very shy. When my mom had a party, I was hiding in my room- still. But he loved the attention. He also was ring bearer at my niece's wedding. Yet, when he came home he was back to very shy again. In high school his friends would come and get him - similar to my life, otherwise he wouldn't go.

He's a great kid - well 28, and I'm very proud of the way he matured. I think going away to college was the best thing he ever did.

One thing I don't do well is medication. The side efects are worse than anything that I am. I was aware at a young age that my symtoms were physical, not mental, just the wrong brain chemistry at the wrong times, and being aware...knowing that I "wasn't going crazy" actually helped and made it easier to control. I accept all my "quirks" and think they make me who I am. A dorkasauraus rex, to be sure. A nerd to be sure, but it works.

And I ramble.

 

[gryeyes]

Heart disease in women started increasing when women started to matter in society and became more in control of their own outcomes. They simply got a better diagnosis. There is still a long way to go though. And there is my pair of pennies worth.

Not too many generations ago there was a diagnosis of "Hysteria," a disorder ONLY attributed to women, diagnosed by men. Treatment cannot be described in this forum, but there is very little doubt the "symptoms" included normal function for a wide - and I mean VERYwide - spectrum of the female population. With such misdiagnosis, it is not surprising women were having heart attacks totally unnoticed by the medical community, and thus under-reported.

 

[drumstick diva]

Linda I recall reading about "hysteria" in women and I know the treatment would make Oz faint on the spot -

so best left unwritten.

 

[hosspak]

I usually wait until 6 months before offing mine so they're meatier, but they also get offed in the order in which they are jerks. So if you're a young head jerk, you go first regardless of age. Have good manners? You get to stay a few more months until we can take care of you. So we have birds from about 16 weeks to about a year in the freezer. The older ones are a bit tougher, but we just mark them as such and cook them slower. Also when you off them, put them in the refrigerator for 2 days before freezing them. This gets rid of rigor mortis, which can also make them tough.

Yesterday I bought BF a smoker for his birthday (which isn't for another 4 weeks but he's getting it early). Can't wait to off a turkey and try it in the smoker.

Have you tried to beer can BBQ a home grown bird yet? I would like to know if that helps tender them up as it does with store fed... Smoked turkeys (and everything else) is amazing...My fav recipe is taking my fav teriyaki sauce mix it with chopped onions, crushed garlic, pineapple chunks, salt and peppa, take that mixture (this is the most important part and the hardest) separate the skin from the meat all around the bird, but don't break or poke a hole in the skin, you will feel membranes under the skin that can be punctured to allow access to the hidden places. Now spoon, scoop pour or whatever other method works to get the mixture under the skin pack it all in there, if you still have any of the mix left, gram it in everywhere. I also inject teriyaki sauce (liquid only) with a meat syringe into the meaty areas under the skin not through the skin. Now tie up both ends with butchers thread, you want to seal up as best you can so all that goodness stays in. Put the bird into a large leak proof bag (large oven bag works) and put it in the frig overnight. Remove from frig and let sit for about 6 hours so birds is close to room temp( this will help bird cook faster), sealing the bird and the sauce will keep germs away. Place it in the hot smoker breast side up, note the time you start and follow the cook time recommended by the manufacturer. I put wine, green onions, and sliced bell peppers in the drip tray (beer and tequila work great also) don't forget to add more wine and water throughout the day. If you like a mild smoke flavor add liquid smoke to the drip tray, if you like real smoke flavor soak a big bowl full of hickory, apple, or citrus wood chips in water the night before and add them as needed through the day (warning: if you add dry chips they will catch fire really quick). Half way through the cooking time quickly and carefully flip the bird over breast down, all the juices will flow into the breast area. You will want to check exposed bird areas for burning, you can protect them with alum foil. Don't be afraid to the wait the whole cook time because the outside of the bird will look dry and overcooked but the inside will be amazing, just use a poultry thermometer to check for correct temp at thickest part of the meat. the bird is done when temp get 5 degrees from done. Remove and let sit for 5 minutes before carving. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it is well worth it, and the family will think you're awesome. Then send me a couple of slices because I will not have any leftovers... lol