The Old Folks Home

[Latestarter]

<sigh> My favorite oldest daughter's biological mom and I divorced when she was about 10. I adopted her as my own when she was 4 and her mom and I married. I married for the wrong reasons... more because my daughter needed a father than because I loved her mother. Her mother asked me for the divorce and I agreed. She wanted her freedom and less responsibility. I had full custody of all of our 3 kids (the oldest plus two that we created together). My X improved 100% after the divorce... while married she was a $hitt-E mother and wife. After the divorce she was just a $hitt-E mother, and she remains so to this day. My daughter does not know who her biological father is, and has no desire to find out. As far as we both are concerned, I am that father. The one issue with that is that she's epileptic and that doesn't run in my family or her mothers. It could be a result of her mother's partying while pregnant...

I'm sharing this because my daughter has gone through almost the identical situation you are going through with your dad, with her mom. Her mom forgets her birthdays, never calls, never contacts her, tells stories, lies, forgets, recounts fabulous times during child raising that never occurred, etc. Claims to love her kids but doesn't prove that by any example. For all intents and purposes, it's as if she has no kids at all. My daughter has fought her internal battle just as you are doing now, and still to this day has times when it's very hard for her to accept/come to grips with. She has little to do with her mother, but does talk to her occasionally and sees her about once a year when she visits her grandfather (mom's dad) who she is very close with. She has finally "accepted" that she will never have the mother she deserves or wants, but she does have at least "some" relationship with her mother, though it's love/hate most of the time. Basically her mother just doesn't care... she's all about herself. My favorite oldest daughter just turned 36 yesterday. So you see, this is not something that will resolve itself quickly... it will take time. Wishing you resolution as quickly as possible. But whatever you do, please do NOT take it personally!

 

[Athaid]

@Lsky
I think that is a great idea. You know you are not forgotten or that he doesn't care since he is sending you letters. He wouldn't spend the time if either of those were the case. For a man who shows no outward affection, you might see the letters as a form of affection ... as long as they aren't sent simply asking for laundry money like kids do

Is your new avatar your own artwork?

Yup I know, I couldn't see it when I was younger but now that I'm getting older I'm beginning to see his side. I guess that's just called maturing, right?

And yup I scanned it in from my old sketchbooks, they aren't the best I can do I was just testing.

 

[perchie.girl]

@Lsky

Are those your drawings? Your avatar and your profile page? Awesomely talented.

Your writing is very good too. Have you thought of entering the NanoWrimo contest? NanoWrimo is National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a short novel in thirty days.... 50,000 words.

http://nanowrimo.org/

Its free to sign up and pretty much anonymous to submit your work. They don't judge or check grammar or spelling anything like that... its just done on word count. matter of fact when you submit your final document it is scrambled so they cant read it.

My son entered it back about four years ago.... and completed the challenge. I entered it last year and completed the challlenge. It came at a point in my life where I was kind of adrift. The process of seeing it through to the end helped me immensely. I have been a writer since I could remember. Writing helps me get through difficult times. But it also helps me work things through.

There is another session coming up in a couple of weeks called Camp NaNoWriMo. Again a contest. but this one you set your own word count goals.... I just signed up for that... someone suggested it would be an idea to get back to it ...for myself and I agree. the contest starts August first.

https://campnanowrimo.org/sign_in

They assign you to virtual cabins in order to have like minds together.... If you want. I opted for no cabin.... But the cabins are groups of people I believe are limited to under ten or so and you can specifiy the genre, age group etc.

But just like any interenet social group even here at BYC. Practice Internet safety with your own information. Sharing personal data is something you should not do. Even if its someone you reallly identify with.... Because as you know the written word can be manipulated even moreso than personal interaction.

be safe but enjoy too...

deb

 

[Athaid]

Hi deb, yes all the pics are mine. Thanks
My grammar isn't that good and I still don't know what adjectives, adverbs etc.. are. I never thought I for a second that I was good at writing, I just got really into that RPG It's fun, but I will look into those links you provided me with.

My current profile pic was done in black Indian ink and water, it was my first time doing a portrait with inks so it was kind of just an experiment

 

[superchemicalgirl]

Latestarter, I've got 4 out of the 5 rows quilted.

Here's a sneak peak.

 

[perchie.girl]

Hi deb, yes all the pics are mine. Thanks

My grammar isn't that good and I still don't know what adjectives, adverbs etc.. are. I never thought I for a second that I was good at writing, I just got really into that RPG

It's fun, but I will look into those links you provided me with.

My current profile pic was done in black Indian ink and water, it was my first time doing a portrait with inks so it was kind of just an experiment

Very very very good.... I could never get a handle on water color of any kind. My medium was, pen and ink, pencil, Charcoal, Pastel and OIl pastels... I tried to learn to paint with Acrylics but never got the hang of mixing color. Then someone I respected told me I would never be an artist and I quit.

. I started sculpting enjoyed that love working with clay but dont have access to the right equipment to take it further... Same goes for welded sculptures....

like i said no one reads it but you.... But I can guarantee the more you do it the better you get. Creative Writing has quite a few different rules than you have for school writing.


deb

 

[perchie.girl]

Latestarter, I've got 4 out of the 5 rows quilted.

Here's a sneak peak.

this is so pretty.... are you doing more pine needles?

It never ceases to amaze me how one can do such art with fabric and needle and thread.

deb

 

[Athaid]

I have messed around with a lot of different mediums, but my real passion is animation, specifically 2D animation. I would love, love to be a 2D animator. I've never done animation before because I can't afford a drawing tablet or animation program, but I sketch people, places and animals as often as I can. I'm sure they look like crp to everyone else, but it is a sketchbook after all The person who told you you'd never be an artist was an idiot, who tells someone that?! Clearly you enjoy creating stuff, and in my eyes that's all that matters.

 

[superchemicalgirl]

this is so pretty.... are you doing more pine needles?

deb

I might go back and do some more but they're a giant pain in the tushie and they really build up thread.

 

[Latestarter]

Latestarter, I've got 4 out of the 5 rows quilted.

Here's a sneak peak.

It's really beautiful, but then just about everything you've shown that you've quilted has been... It will become a family heirloom, you know that, right?